Susan Granger’s review of “Show Dogs” (Open Road/Global Road)
I’m sure the filmmakers intended this to be a crime-fighting family comedy, focusing on the unlikely pairing of FBI agent Frank (Will Arnett) with an NYPD canine partner, streetwise Max (Chris “Ludacris” Bridges), who go undercover at the world’s most exclusive dog show.
At the Cantini Invitational Dog Show in Las Vegas, an international rare-animal smuggling ring surfaces – with Frank and Max hot on their trail. Utilizing tips from Max’s purebred informants, they’re determined to identify and incarcerate the dastardly perpetrators while rescuing Ling-Li, a kidnapped baby panda.
That involves Max’s registering as a viable Rottweiler entrant with Frank as his trainer and temperamental former winner French Papillion Philippe (Stanley Tucci) as his cynical coach.
Completing the canine cast, there’s the current Champion Dante (Alan Cumming), confident Australian Shepherd Daisy (Jordan Sparks), flamboyant Persephone (RuPaul), volatile pug Sprinkles (Gabriel Iglesias), and dreadlocked Buddhist Komondor Karma (Shaquille O’Neal).
Plus Natasha Lyonne as an FBI canine consultant and Omar Chaparro as a dog handler.
Problem is: an integral part of every dog show is a detailed physical examination of the finalists by the judges. To practice, Frank proceeds to touch Max’s private parts which, not surprisingly, arouses Max’s ire. Max is then told that he needs to go to his “Zen place” not to feel violated when this happens.
To say that this is an ill-advised message for children is a gross understatement. This is how pedophiles prey on youngsters. It’s imperative that very young children should be told that they should not permit anyone to touch their private parts. Indeed, if anyone tries, they should immediately report this to their parents.
Obviously, writers Max Botkin and Marc Hyman, along with director Raja Gosnell (“Beverly Hills Chihuahua”), intended this cornball cartoonish combination of live-action with CGI to be an amusing interlude. But it isn’t. And it shouldn’t be – in a PG-rated film.
On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 t 10, “Show Dogs” is a regrettable 3. Don’t say you weren’t warned.
