Susan Granger’s review of “Old Dogs” (Walt Disney)
Like rancid leftovers, “Old Dogs” is a toxic turkey, a buddy/family film gone wrong.
Womanizing Charlie (John Travolta) and twice-divorced Dan (Robin Williams) are best friends, working in the sports marketing business together for 30 years. On the eve of signing a huge contract with a Japanese firm, hapless Dan discovers that an impulsive, one-night fling in Miami with Vicki (Kelly Preston) produced now-seven year-old fraternal twins. As an ardent environmental activist, Vicky is facing jail time on a civil disobedience charge. So Zach (Conner Rayburn) and Emily (Ella Bleu Travolta) are temporarily dumped onto unsuspecting Dan’s doorstep.
Desperate Dan and cheerful Charlie must assume parental duties. Their inept coping skills supply the slapstick comedy, but the flimsy script by David Diamond and David Weissman is formulaic (including incontinence, feces and groin-injury bits), and frantic best describes the direction by Walt Becker (“Wild Hogs”)
As Charlie and Dan’s ambitious assistant, Seth Green winds up in the arms of a gorilla during a break-in at the Burlington Zoo. Lori Laughlin plays a Japanese translator. Rita Wilson is Vicky’s best-friend. Matt Dillon is the dementedly over-zealous Pioneer troop leader with Justin Long as a psycho dad, plus there are cameos by Ann-Margret, Amy Sedaris, Dax Shepard and Luis Guzman.
It’s too bad that this bland, contrived comedy marks Bernie Mac’s final on-screen appearance; he died in August, 2008. And it’s the last film John Travolta made before the death of his 16 year-old son, Jett, earlier this year. Except for Jett, it’s a family affair, since Kelly Preston is John’s real-life wife and Ella Bleu is their real-life daughter. It’s the first time Preston and Travolta have acted together since they met 20 years ago on the set of “The Experts.”
On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Old Dogs” is an interminable, infantile 2. Disney marketers must have realized just how wretched it was, which is why they positioned it until after “A Christmas Carol” and before the wide release of “The Princess and the Frog.” After all, to quote one participant, “Scat happens.”
