Susan Granger’s review of “Tooth Fairy” (20th Century-Fox)
In this featherweight, family-oriented comedy, Derek Thompson (Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson) is an arrogant, aggressive former NFL hockey player who’s now in the minor leagues and known as “The Tooth Fairy” for his brutal penchant for knocking out opponents’ bicuspids and molars. Continuing his destructive cynicism off-the-ice, he blithely informs Tess (Destiny Whitlock), the young daughter of his girl-friend, Carly (Ashley Judd), that there’s no real tooth fairy; it’s just a fantasy.
That infuriates Lily the Fairy-in-Chief (Julie Andrews), who magically punishes him for “first degree murder of fantasy” by turning his nickname into a real job for two weeks, or until he learns to believe in dreams. Presto! Hard-bodied Derek is prancing about in a pale pink tutu, ballerina slippers and tights with huge wings sprouting out of his back and a wand in his band. Granted, it’s an amusing image. But that’s about as funny as it gets. His stealthy tooth-retrieval training from under the pillows of sleeping children is assigned to a wingless caseworker, Tracy (British comic Stephen Merchant), and an ancient wizard (Billy Crystal) who supplies Derek with gadgets like invisibility spray, shrinking paste, amnesia dust, cat repellent, etc.
Sloppily written by Lowell Ganz, Babaloo Mandel, Joshua Sternin, Jeffrey Ventimilia and Randi Mayem Singer and sluggishly directed by TV actor-turned-director Michael Lembeck (“Santa Clause” sequels), there’s a crushing cavity where there should be whimsical inspiration. Beyond unconvincing, Derek’s tough-guy character is a total misfit. I mean, what kind of brutish louse would steal the tooth-fairy dollar from under little Tess’s pillow to ante in a poker game? And why can’t he even try to bond with Carly’s sullen, guitar-playing teenage son, Randy (Chase Ellison)? For those who expect more from the “Race to Witch Mountain” Dwayne Johnson, it’s a definite disappointment.
Even though there’s a comical compensatory scene with Billy Crystal and Julie Andrews under the closing credits, the incoherent concept doesn’t pay off, so on the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Tooth Fairy” is a flimsy, forced 4. Keep flossing and wait for the dvd.
