Susan Granger’s review of “THE WATCHER” (Universal)
Just what we need: another lurid, trashy serial killer saga. This time, Keanu Reeves plays an elusive homicidal maniac who engages in a gruesome ticking-clock cat-and-mouse game with James Spader, a burnt-out FBI agent who has suffered a traumatic nervous breakdown after too many years on the job with the LAPD. To taunt Spader, who has relocated to Chicago, Reeves packs up his trusty piano wire and moves too. Before long, he starts mailing photographs of the lonely, unsuspecting young women who are his intended Windy City victims, challenging Spader, along with the Chicago Police Department, to stop him within 24 hours before he strikes again. In the midst of this murderous frenzy, there’s Spader’s psychologist, played by Marisa Tomei, who is even less convincing as a medical professional than Jennifer Lopez in “The Cell.” Writers David Elliot, Clay Ayers and Darcy Meyers, along with first-time director Joe Charbanic (helmer of music videos for Reeves’ band Dogstar), dwell on the warped thrill of the methodology and the chase, revealing, early on, exactly whodunit since the killer says he and the cop “need each other to give meaning to our lives.” Plus, as Reeves explains, “We’re all stacked right on top of each other, but we don’t notice each other any more.” After that, it’s all sound effects and tricky camera-work, along with a muddled, discordant soundtrack. James Spader’s acting technique can be described as ‘wooden deadpan’ while Keanu Reeves maintains his perpetually monotone ‘dude’ persona which sometimes works, sometimes doesn’t. Chris Ellis, as Spader’s self-important colleague, is the only cast member who manages to be convincing. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “The Watcher” is an appallingly awful, amateurish 2. The real torture is watching it.
