GODZILLA 2000

Susan Granger’s review of “GODZILLA 2000” (Toho Films/Tri-Star Pictures)

Good grief! Another Godzilla movie? The legendary lizard is back in this low-tech, sci-fi fantasy from Japan’s Toho studio – one that seems better suited to the video screen than a theatrical release. Actually, it’s the 24th Godzilla picture – and much like the rest. Directed by Takao Okawara, the story follows Godzilla as he leaves his underwater home off Japan’s coast, destroys a submarine and seaside restaurant, and heads for a nuclear power plant. A sympathetic scientist and his daughter, along with an eager reporter, want to study Godzilla – forming a Godzilla Prediction Network – but the military, as usual, has other explosive plans and Tokyo gets trampled in the process. The twist this time comes from a shape-shifting, radio-active, 6,000 year-old flying rock from outer space, an alien Orga, who tries to gobble the fire-breathing Godzilla. No effort has been made to try to synchronize the silly Japanese dialogue with the cheesy, dubbed-over Americanized English, and the results can only be called ludicrous. “Ah, the damn teriyaki is cold again!” says a diner when the big, green lizard lands near a noodle shop. “Great Caesar’s ghost!” exclaims another character. There’s also little attempt to disguise the actor who’s wearing a cleated rubber suit. Originally conceived as a cautionary tale, “Godzilla, King of the Monsters” made its debut in 1954 and, fittingly, the current Godzilla’s size has been scaled down from 328 feet (1991-1995 versions) to a mere 170 feet, closer to the original concept of 168 feet, as detailed in the earlier incarnations. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Godzilla 2000” is a tedious 2 – for die-hard fans only – because “Maybe because Godzilla is inside each one of us.”

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THE SANDY BOTTOM ORCHESTRA

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