Susan Granger’s review of “Snatched” (20th Century Fox)
Goofy comedienne Goldie Hawn (“Overboard,” “Bird on a Wire”) hasn’t made a film in 15 years, so I was really looking forward to her return to the silver screen, particularly teaming up with fearlessly funny Amy Schumer.
Reviving her obnoxiously neurotic “Teamwork” persona, Schumer plays Emily Middleton, a potty-mouthed loser whose rock-star boyfriend (Randall Park) dumps her just after she’s splurged on a ‘nonrefundable’ vacation-for-two at a resort in exotic Ecuador.
Since no one else will accompany her, Emily convinces her uptight, over-protective, divorced mom Linda (Hawn) to go, whining, “Put the fun back in nonrefundable,” leaving her nerdy, agoraphobic brother Jeffrey (Ike Barinholtz) at home.
Venturing out to the pool, they’re immediately befriended by “strictly platonic” Ruth (Wanda Sykes) and Barb (Joan Cusack), who caution them about the kidnapping that’s about to occur when Emily convinces Linda to go on a ‘sight-seeing’ jaunt through the Amazon jungle with a handsome stranger named James (Tom Bateman) whom she met swilling cocktails at the bar.
Once they’re abducted by Morgado (Oscar Jaenada), a stereotypical Latino villain, and thrown into a filthy cell, the mother/daughter comedy grinds to a halt, as Emily learns to be less self-centered and stodgy Linda opens up to taking risks.
Throw in a chivalrous pseudo-adventurer/explorer (Christopher Meloni) and a disgusting tapeworm which takes center stage for far too long. Taking a jab at the ineptitude of the US State Dept., there’s also an ineffectual bureaucrat (Bashir Salahuddin) whose only advice to the victims is: “Get to Bogota.”
Scripted by Katie Dippold (“The Heat,” “Ghostbusters” remake) and directed by Jonathan Levine (“50/50,” “Warm Bodies”), it’s crude and vulgar – and only fitfully amusing. Perhaps because Levine lets some vacation-from-hell scenes go on too long and there’s little fractious, familial chemistry between Hawn and Schumer.
At 91 minutes, if feels interminable.
On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Snatched” is a flashy, flimsy 5. Cancel this trip.