Movie/TV Reviews

The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep

Susan Granger’s review of “The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep” (Columbia Pictures)

In a pub in a small village in coastal Scotland, an old man (Brian Cox) is explaining a photograph of the so-called “Loch Ness monster” to two curious travelers.
According to his tale, back in 1942, 12 year-old Angus MacMorrow (Alex Etel), a wee lonely lad whose father is off fighting in W.W. II, finds a mysterious object on the beach that he lugs home in a pail. It’s a giant egg from which hatches the most magical creature. Not a reptile, not a mammal, it’s a legendary Celtic water horse that he names Crusoe. Angus hides the mythical creature in a shed but Crusoe soon outgrows his confined quarters and his appetite seems insatiable. There is no choice but to release the water horse into the sea, where Crusoe must learn to survive unexpected perils.
Meanwhile, Angus’ mother (Emily Watson), the housekeeper of a large estate, is coping with an enigmatic new handyman (Ben Chaplin) and the unexpected arrival of troops led by arrogant Captain Hamilton (David Morrissey), who commandeers the Manor House to billet his English officers. They’re on the lookout for German submarines that may be in the area.
Based on a novel by Dick King-Smith, cleverly adapted by Robert Nelson Jacobs, it’s filled with the enchantment its predecessors, “E.T.” and “Free Willy,” to which director Jay Russell (“My Dog Skip,” “Ladder 49”) adds some exciting maritime chases.
Weta Workshop, the computer-graphics company responsible for effects in “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy and “The Chronicles of Narnia,” created Crusoe, who resembles a giraffe-seal-horse-like dinosaur. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep” is a sweet, escapist 7. It’s a whimsical fantasy-adventure for the whole family.

The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep Read More »

The Orphanage

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “The Orphanage” (Picturehouse release)

In this haunting, supernatural Spanish drama, a devoted mother discovers the dark secrets hidden within her childhood refuge, situated on a lonely stretch of coastline near an abandoned lighthouse.
When Laura (Belen Rueda), a sensitive nurse, and her physician husband, Carlos (Fernando Cayo), buy the decrepit orphanage in which she grew up, they plan to make it a home for children with disabilities. They move in with their adopted, seven year-old, HIV-infected son, Simon (Roger Princep), who soon acquires some ‘imaginary’ friends, one of whom, inexplicably, leaves a trail of seashells from the shore to their doorstep. Then there’s a sinister ‘social worker’ (Montserrat Carulla), who evidences unusual, even menacing interest in the spooky place, and a ‘medium,’ Aurora (Geraldine Chaplin), brought in to create a sŽance to bridge the gap between humans and the ghosts that seem to surround them as the nightmarish line between fantasy and reality fades.
Written by Sergio G. Sanchez, directed by Juan Antonio Bayona – making an auspicious feature-film debut – and produced by Mexico’s Guillermo del Toro (“Pan’s Labyrinth”), it delves far below the surface of the ‘haunted house’ horror genre, evoking the stylish subtlety of “The Innocents” (1961), “The Haunting” (1963) and “The Others” (2001). And while there are sudden, scary jolts and dark, creepy, disturbing images, there are also underlying psychological themes of love, loss and guilt, tinged with dread, remorse and regret, epitomized by several astute allusions to J.M.Barrie’s classic Peter Pan legend of the lost boys.
Led by Belen Rueda (“The Sea Inside”), the performances are totally believable, augmented by Oscar Faura’s inventive, evocative camera work. In Spanish with English subtitles, on the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “The Orphanage” is a suspenseful, eerie 8. Prepare to shudder – and weep.

The Orphanage Read More »

Persepolis

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

S.usan Granger’s review of “Persepolis” (Sony Pictures Classics)

What’s unusual about this hand-drawn animated feature from France is that it tells an adult story from a child’s point-of-view. With the aid of French graphic artist Vincent Paronnaud, Marjane Satrapi boldly details her very personal autobiography.
Back in 1978, little Marjane (voiced by Gabrielle Lopes) – an avid fan of Bruce Lee, Iron Maiden and most things Western – sits with her enlightened, progressive family in Teheran, anxiously watching their Shah’s repressive government become the Ayatollah’s far worse fundamentalist revolution. Bewildered, yet defiant beneath her veil, she struggles to understand what is happening from the stories that adults relay to her, particularly her mother (voiced by Catherine Deneuve), grandmother (Danielle Darrieux) and Communist uncle (Francois Jerosme).
As Iran deteriorates, her parents dispatch the rebellious, now-adolescent Marjane (voiced by Chiara Mastroianni) to a French-speaking school in Vienna, where she becomes ambivalent and depressed, burning out on Euro-hedonism and gradually losing all sense of her own identity. Finally, she comes home, only to discover the strictures of Islamic law under the mullahs even more restrictive.
Filmed primarily in stark black-and-white, except for brief scenes in color, it’s a monochromatic, simplistic narrative which delves into contemporary political history, including war, torture and execution. And the title ‘Persepolis’ derives from the original capital of Persia, founded in the sixth century B.C. and destroyed by Alexander the Great in 330 A.D.
In Farsi and French with English subtitles, the vocal talent is remarkable: Catherine Deneuve is Chiara Mastroianni’s real-life mother and Danielle Darrieux played Ms. Deneuve’s mother 40 years ago in “The Young Girls of Rochefort.”
On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Persepolis is a stylized, sensitive 7, an often comic, yet heart-breaking, outspoken portrait of a young girl and a nation in turmoil.

Persepolis Read More »

No Reservations

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “No Reservations” (Warner Bros.)

“I wish there was a cookbook for life,” muses temperamental chef Kate (Catherine Zeta-Jones), as the precise complications of creating magnifique haute cuisine pale in comparison with the dilemma of nurturing her 10 year-old, recently orphaned niece Zoe (Abigail Breslin).
While neurotic Kate’s been seeing – or, rather, feeding – a therapist (Bob Balaban), refusing to discuss her control issues, when the owner (Patricia Clarkson) of her Greenwich Village restaurant, 22 Bleecker Street, brings in a scruffy, gregarious but strong-willed new sous-chef, Nick (Aaron Eckhart), she’s thoroughly steamed.
Kate’s palate is strictly French – her signature dish is quail in saffron truffle sauce – while Nick’s culinary taste is Italian, his tasty pasta accented in its preparation by classical opera.
As Kate flounders before finding a recipe for happiness, she discovers that if you mix in traumas and tears with some poignant moments – and a touch of sexual tension – cooking can not only be fun but it can also heal broken hearts.
Although their roles are a bit undercooked (a.k.a. underwritten), Catherine Zeta-Jones’ icy, emotionless perfectionism gradually and subtly melts as she heats up some affectionate warmth, while Aaron Eckhart keeps his carefree earthiness from turning into a romantic leading man clichŽ. And Abigail Breslin (“Little Miss Sunshine”) delivers a touching portrayal of a grieving child, seeking solace where she can find it.
A remake of the 2001 German import “Mostly Martha,” it’s been predictably Americanized by screenwriter Carol Fuchs and director Scott Hicks (“Shine”), who co-owns a vineyard in Australia with his producer wife Kerry Heysen; note his Yacca Paddock label. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “No Reservations” is a slyly sensual, succulent 7, a deliciously delectable froth in which food is the metaphor for love and life.

No Reservations Read More »

Goya’s Ghosts

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Goya’s Ghosts” (Samuel Goldwyn)

In late18th century Spain, a Roman Catholic cleric, Brother Lorenzo (Javier Bardem), serves as an agent of the Inquisitor General (Michael Lonsdale). Their target is the painter Francisco Goya (Stellan Skarsgard), who is working on a portrait of Ines (Natalie Portman), the beautiful daughter of a wealthy merchant. Because Ines refuses to eat pork, they suspect that there’s Jewish blood in her ancestry. As a result, she is tortured and imprisoned in the church’s dungeon, where Lorenzo rapes her – after which, over dinner, he assures her father, Tomas Bilbatua (Jose Luis Gomez), that if Ines truly loved God, she would never sign a false confession.
Fifteen years later, the invading French Army vanquishes the Inquisition. Lorenzo has become Napoleon’s prosecutor. It’s sheer melodrama as the now-insane Ines tells him that she bore him a daughter whom Lorenzo discovers has become a prostitute (Portman – in a dual role).
Veteran Czech-born director Milos Forman (“Valmont,” “Amadeus,” “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”) has assembled an international cast, resulting in a polyglot of incomprehensible accents. To cast very Swedish Stellan Skarsgard as very Spanish Goya was a serious error. And Randy Quaid turns up as the violin-playing, dimwitted King Carlos IV with Queen Maria Luisa (Blanca Portillo) painted by Goya.
Collaborating on the soap opera-like political satire with Jean-Claude Carriere doesn’t help. Their sketchy script is awkward and stilted – with many vignettes revolving around “being put to the question,” a euphemism for torture – along with the assertion that, under duress, people will confess to anything. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Goya’s Ghosts” is a grotesque 4, completely lacking in emotional focus. Anytime you emerge from the theater praising the scenery more than the scenes, there’s a problem with the picture.

Goya’s Ghosts Read More »

Arctic Tale

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Arctic Tale” (Paramount Classics/National Geographic)

Venturing into “March of the Penguins” territory – on the opposite tip of the globe – this epic nature documentary follows the parallel stories of a polar bear cub, Nanu, and walrus pup, Seela, from birth through adolescence to maturity and parenthood in the frozen Arctic wilderness.
From the moment curious Nanu crawls out of her sheltering snow cave, she’s surrounded by a vast kingdom of astonishing cold, an unforgiving landscape where she and her brother must learn – from their mother – the skills necessary to survive.
After Seela’s birth in the blue watery depths, her greatest challenge is learning to use her flippers to haul herself up on an ice floe so she won’t die. She’s attended not only by her mother but also by another female, a vigilant “auntie,” who protectively flank her.
They’re joined by tiny white foxes, skittish ring seals, thick-billed murres that fly not only through the sky but also the ocean, watchful gulls and mysterious narwhals, the “unicorns” of the North Pole. For these Arctic creatures, dangers abound, particularly climate change. Only the strongest will survive now that their crystalline habitat is rapidly melting.
For the past 15 years, the filmmaking husband-and-wife team Adam Ravetch and Sarah Robertson have painstakingly photographed 800 hours of footage, expertly edited by Beth Spiegel to serve a profoundly disturbing environmental warning tale by Linda Wolverton, Moses Richards and Kristin Gore (filially connected to “An Inconvenient Truth”) and narrated by Queen Latifah, whose cloying anthropomorphizing oozes treacle. Discordant notes also emanate from the often distracting sound track, slipping into Sister Sledge’s “We Are Family” as a walrus herd experiences communal indigestion.
On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Arctic Tale” is an astonishing, adventurous 8, notably for its spectacular photography.

Arctic Tale Read More »

The Simpson Movie

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “The Simpson Movie” (20th Century-Fox)

So the lights go down and Homer Simpson says, “I can’t believe we’re paying to see something we could see at home on TV for free. Everyone in this theater is a big sucker!”
What’s it all about? Well, let’s see.despite Grandpa’s ominous warning, Homer falls in love with a pig, dares son Bart to skateboard naked through town, ignores environmental pleas from daughter Lisa and wife Marge’s disapproval and becomes a prime polluter, potentially dooming his hometown of Springfield, located somewhere near Ohio, Nevada, Kentucky and Maine. Meanwhile, Lisa falls in love with an Irish boy named Colin and baby Maggie says her first word. (Nah, I’m not going to tell you what it is.) And somewhere towards the end, Homer has an epiphany (look it up) with an Inuit in Alaska.
After 18 television seasons and 400 episodes, America’s most irreverent dysfunctional family has finally made it to the big screen – and, yes, it’s worth the price of admission.
Amusement comes in many forms, beginning with Ralph Wiggum standing on the 20th Century Fox logo singing along with the company fanfare and continuing through Arnold Schwarzenegger as President of the United States: “I’m here to lead, not to read.”
Director David Silverman and his gang of writers make the most of the vocal talent – Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright and Yeardley Smith, as the family and various neighbors, along with characters created by Hank Azaria, Henry Shearer, Pamela Hayden, Tress MacNeille, plus cameos by Albert Brooks and Tom Hanks. While it drags a bit in spots, they’re few and far-between. Mostly, it’s really funny. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “The Simpsons” is a cleverly conceived, subversive 9, certainly the best Simpsons Movie – so far.

The Simpson Movie Read More »

The Bourne Ultimatum

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “The Bourne Ultimatum” (Universal Pictures)

Based on the third of the spy novel series by the late Robert Ludlum, this concludes the action-adventure trilogy of “The Bourne Identity” (2002) and “The Bourne Supremacy” (2004).
After his cover is blown by a London newspaper reporter (Paddy Considine), rogue CIA agent Jason Bourne (Matt Damon) once again becomes the prime target of the top-secret government agency that trained him as an assassin. With nothing left to lose, the amnesiac Bourne relentlessly seeks those responsible for turning him into a brutal killing machine, flying to and from London, Madrid, Tangier, Paris, Moscow and, finally, to New York City. All on a fake passport, carrying no luggage, evading detection and never suffering those annoying airport flight delays. Amazing!
CIA director, Ezra Kramer (Scott Glenn), and chief of the black-ops program known as Blackbriar, Noah Vosen (David Strathairn), are determined to rid themselves of this $30-million malfunctioning threat named Bourne – ‘to take him out’ this time – to the chagrin of CIA internal investigator Pamela Landy (Joan Allen). And Bourne has another ally: disillusioned CIA operative Nicky Parsons (Julia Stiles), who joins him on the run.
Working from the screenplay by Tony Gilroy, Scott Z. Burns and George Nolfi, British director Paul Greengrass (“The Bourne Supremacy,” “United 93”) has obviously mastered the intricate plot twists, action choreography and terrific chase sequences – one through Manhattan – which characterize these ‘They can’t stop me!’ capers.
Cinematographer Oliver Wood creates spectacular shots, edited by Christopher Rouse to composer John Powell’s pulsating score. Is it formulaic? Yes – and the formula works. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “The Bourne Ultimatum” is an escapist 8, perhaps the strongest in the espionage series. But is it really the end? Don’t bet on it.

The Bourne Ultimatum Read More »

I Know Who Killed Me

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “I Know Who Killed Me” (Sony/Tri-Star Pictures)

It’s impossible to separate gossip from film criticism when a talented young star like Lindsay Lohan sabotages her promising career not only with highly publicized substance abuse but also by choosing to make a morbid, unmitigated on-screen disaster like this.
Aubrey Fleming (Lohan) is an aspiring writer and gifted pianist who inexplicably vanishes on a date with her boyfriend, the New Salem quarterback, Jerrod Pointer (Brian Geragthy), and a couple of girlfriends, leaving her worried parents (Julia Ormond, Neal McDonough) thoroughly bewildered.
Weeks later, she turns up, blood-soaked, on the side of a country road, minus a hand and parts of a leg after escaping from captivity by a sadistic madman. Her amputations seem to match others maimed by a certain serial killer who has been targeted by the area police and FBI agents. But she can’t remember anything and insists she’s Dakota Moss, a tough-talking, pole-dancing stripper – or could she be Aubrey’s long-lost twin sister since they share the same DNA?
While indie director Chris Silverton (“The Lost”) demonstrates a modicum of visual style, despite several grotesquely ludicrous and violent torture sequences, his effort and John R. Leonetti’s hi-def cinematography are totally torpedoed by newbie scripter Jeffrey Hammond’s exploitive, incomprehensible plot and Joel McNeely’s deafening score.
But what’s most tragic is the willful self-destruction of Lindsay Lohan, the once-promising Disney moppet from “The Parent Trap,” who, more recently, delivered memorable coming-of-age performances in “A Prairie Home Companion” and “Bobby.” In one scene, she actually looks so haggard that it’s difficult to believe she just turned 21 years old. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “I Know Who Killed Me” is barely a trashy, incompetent 1 – as in one of the worst movies of the year.

I Know Who Killed Me Read More »

Hot Rod

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Hot Rod” (Paramount Pictures)

There have been many memorable on-screen daredevils – like Burt Reynolds in “Hooper” (1978), directed by former stuntman Hal Needham, and Peter O’Toole as a demented filmmaker in “The Stunt Man” (1980) – but Andy Samberg isn’t one of them.
Totally clueless, self-proclaimed ‘stuntman’ Rod Kimble (Samberg) believes he’s the son of Evel Knievel’s test-rider – and he’s committed to fulfilling his late father’s legacy. Problem is: he’s inept. A slacker, he lives at home with long-suffering mom Marie (Sissy Spacek) and abusive stepfather Frank (Ian McShane).
Rod’s loyal team consists of Dave (Bill Hader), the moped mechanic; Rico (Danny McBride), the ramp builder; and half-brother Kevin (Jorma Taccone), the videographer; and neighbor Denise (Isla Fisher), Rod’s love interest. When ornery Frank needs $50,000 for heart transplant surgery, they band together to help Rod stage a spectacular, death-defying jump over a fleet of 15 buses, one more than Evel Knievel ever attempted.
Working from a sketchy script by Pam Brady and directed by Akiva Schaffer, Andy Samberg, a veteran of “Saturday Night Live” digital shorts, depends far too much on the unreliable factors of slapstick, stupidity and a soundtrack of cuts from the heavy-metal band Europe. With his cool demeanor and engaging grin, Samberg deserves more support; despite this debacle, he has a promising future.
As for the highly-touted leap, forget it. Cinematographer Andrew Dunn and editor Malcolm Campbell utilize only close-ups and reaction shots. The best ‘stunts’ are the ‘falling-down-a-mountain’ training sequence and climactic fight between Rod and Frank.
On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Hot Rod” is a silly, sputtering 2, a goofball comedy gone gooey. Look for the funniest sequence – the “Cool Beans” rap – on YouTube since the “Stuntman Forever” short, an outtakes movie-within-a-movie, is already online.

Hot Rod Read More »