Movie/TV Reviews

Bratz

Susan Granger’s review of “Bratz” (Lionsgate Films)

If Barbie had ever made the transition to the big screen, I’d like to think she’d have done it with more class than this live-action feature based on the popular fashion floozies.
As the ‘tweener’ story goes, Yasmin (Nathalia Ramos), Jade (Janel Parrish), Sasha (Logan Browning) and Cloe (Skyler Shaye) are “BFF” – Best Friends Forever. Inseparable, they’ve always supported each other but now they’re faced with the new social scene at Carry Nation High. (The school name must be some kind of an inside joke because the REAL Carrie Nation (1846-1911), a staunch member of the temperance movement, battling against alcohol in pre-Prohibition days, was a large woman – nearly six feet tall and weighing 175 pounds – definitely not Bratz chic.)
Anyway, the quartet is appalled by the peer pressure exerted by the insidious clique culture, as enforced by Meredith Baxter Dimly (Chelsea Staub), whose father is the uptight Principal (Jon Voight). According to the press notes, they learn “how true empowerment means standing up for your friends, being true to oneself and living out one’s dreams and aspirations.” Hah!
In the less-than-capable hands of screenwriters Susan Estelle Jansen (“The Lizzie McGuire Movie”), Adam De La Pena and David Eilenberg and director Sean McNamara, it’s really an incoherent paean to mall materialism, cloaked in ethnic diversity, lifting liberally from “Mean Girls,” “Election,” “Clueless” and “Raise Your Voice” – although the inclusion of a Mariachi band at the breakfast table, along with Laine Kazan, is an original touch.
Yet the message is definitely mixed – like, while it’s great to be athletic, it’s even better in stiletto heels. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Bratz” is an “awesomely” tacky 2. And since when did high school freshmen start to look like college seniors?

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Stardust

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Stardust” (Paramount Pictures)

Usually, this kind of sword ‘n’ sorcery fairy tale begins, “Once Upon a Time,” but this – being a PG-13 romantic fantasy – starts with a young man falling in love and its unexpected, unpredictable ramifications.
In the tiny British village of Wall, young Tristan (Charlie Cox) courts feckless Victoria (Sienna Miller), hoping to win her heart by retrieving a fallen star. His quest takes him into Stormhold, a fantastical parallel universe. It seems that when the star fell to Earth, it transformed into a radiant young woman, Yvaine (Claire Danes) – and Tristan is not the only one after her. There’s the evil witch, Lamia (Michelle Pfeiffer), who needs to devour the heart of the star for eternal youth and beauty, and Stormhold’s rival princes (Jason Flemyng, Rupert Everett, among others) who covet the gemstone in the necklace worn by the star to claim the throne.
As Tristan strives to protect the vulnerable star and bring her back as a birthday gift for Victoria, he encounters, among others, the fearsome airborne pirate, Captain Shakespeare (Robert DeNiro), and an unscrupulous mechant known as Ferdy the Fence (Ricky Gervais).
Written by novelist Jane Goldman with director Matthew Vaughn (“Layer Cake”), it’s a supernatural coming-of-age saga based on the visionary graphic novel by Neil Gaiman and Charles Vess. In tone, it’s quite reminiscent of “The Princess Bride.” In addition to curses, enchantments, runes, talismans, ghosts, witches and Babylon candles, there’s a unicorn and the screen’s funniest buccaneer-in-drag. But the heavy-handed humor is sometimes problematic.
Filmed in rustic Iceland and Scotland’s Isle of Skye, it’s visually sumptuous, combining realism with fantasy. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Stardust” is an enchanting 8. It’s this summer’s playful ‘date movie,’ culminating in a glowing “happily ever after.”

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If I Didn’t Care

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “If I Didn’t Care” (Artistic License Films)

Homicide in the Hamptons. It happens – all too frequently, it seems, in this low-budget noir/thriller that begins with a murder. Who’s the victim? Who are the perpetrators?
The intriguing drama revolves around a philandering, duplicitous househusband, Davis Meyers (Bill Sage), whose career-propelled wife (Noelle Beck) commutes via the ubiquitous Hampton jitney to Manhattan, leaving him to hawk wishful real estate ‘deals’ on his cellphone and walk the beach with their basset hound, schmoozing with the local police investigator Linus (Roy Scheider, channeling “Columbo”) who’s also into walking his dog. While dawdling during the off-season at a local watering hole with an ambitious, available blonde, Hadley (Susie Misner), Davis and the dame cook up a plan to murder his wealthy wife – a sleazy scheme that goes tragically awry.
Filmmaking brothers Benjamin and Orson Cummings capture not only the picturesque setting of the exclusive Long Island resort community but also the paranoia of privileged people with far too much free time coupled with an acute awareness of the ‘easy money’ that’s slipping through their hands. Seizing the opportunity, they’ve utilized familiar Hamptons landmarks (Barrister’s, Shippy’s, Suki Zuki) and enlisted the considerable talents local residents – Roy Scheider, Noelle Beck and Ronald Guttman – who artfully propel the predictably ‘noir’ plot to its all-too-abrupt conclusion. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “If I Didn’t Care” is an unsettling, suspenseful 6.
As a side note, the song “If I Didn’t Care,” which made the Inkspots internationally famous, was the first solo music-and-lyrics effort of now-95 year-old Jack Lawrence, a resident of West Redding, Connecticut; his hit parade includes “Tenderly,” “Sleepy Lagoon,” “Linda,” “Beyond the Sea,” “All or Nothing At All” and “What Will I Tell My Heart?”

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Delirious

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Delirious” (Peace Arch Films)

Aimed at a hip, sophisticated audience, this satiric fable from independent filmmaker Tom DiCillo (“Living in Oblivion,” “The Real Blonde”) reveals the soft, subversive underbelly of contemporary celebrity and glitzy fame. DiCillo wrote the leading role of the frustrated, insecure, self-absorbed paparazzo specifically for actor Steve Buscemi.
Living in oblivious squalor in New York, garrulous Les Galatine (Buscemi) befriends Toby (Michael Pitt), a hunky, good-natured aspiring actor whom he teaches the ‘stakeout’ ropes (“Im not paparazzi! I’m a licensed professional!”) and allows to crash in his shabby, lower East Side pad which doubles as office/living space.
At a Soap Stars Against STD Convention, Toby charms a sexy casting director (Gina Gershon) and launches an unlikely romance with a talentless teen sexpot named K’harma (Alison Lohman), who was ditched by her British boyfriend Jace (Richard Short). Surrounded by a couple of fawning assistants, K’harma is a wannabe singer who is famous for being famous – like Paris/Nichole/Lindsay crossed with Britney – even inveigling Elvis Costello to show up as one of her trendy party guests. While Les feeds at the freebie buffet trough, stashes away gift bags and tries – in vain – to connect with his parents (Doris Belack, Tom Aldredge) in New Jersey, Toby gets his big break photographing a reality show featuring a homeless serial killer.
DiCillo gleefully, yet surprisingly sympathetically, skewers the sycophantic entertainment press – from battling rival publicists to eccentric bottom-feeders. While young Michael Pitt (“Dawson’s Creek”) is disarming, Steve Buscemi delivers a career-defining performance – and they share the movie’s most memorable moments. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Delirious” is a hilariously shallow, sleazy 7. It’s one of those savvy, low-budget crowd-pleasers that arrive in local theaters only via film festivals like San Sebastian and Sundance.

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Death at a Funeral

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Death at a Funeral” (MGM release)

It’s a most unusual funeral when the coffin is delivered with the wrong body inside of it – and that’s just the beginning of this farce set in a small, bucolic town in England.
Soft-spoken, dutiful Daniel (Matthew Macfadyen), the underappreciated son, is handling all the arrangements for the funeral of his father. His brother Robert (Rupert Graves), a successful novelist, flies in from New York and realizes that a terrible mistake has been made. Meanwhile, Daniel’s wife Jane (Keeley Hawes) is determined that Robert take his newly widowed mother (Jane Asher) back to America, so that she can move with Daniel into their new London flat.
Cousin Martha (Daisy Donovan) has brought along her flustered fiancŽ Simon (Alan Tudyk) – who accidentally swallowed an LSD tablet instead of Valium, the fault of her aspiring pharmacist brother, Troy (Kris Marshall) – to introduce to her snobbish father (Peter Egan). Martha’s ex, Justin (Ewen Bremmer), is there, along with a hypochondriac Howard (Andy Nyman) and wheelchair-bound Uncle Alfie (Peter Vaughn).
There’s the appearance of a mysterious mourner (Peter Dinklage) who arrives with a tawdry revelation about the deceased, complete with compromising photos – to the impatience of the vicar (Thomas Wheatley).
Written by Dean Craig (“Caffeine”) and directed by Frank Oz (“Bowfinger,” “Dirty Rotten Scoundrels,”), who was born in Great Britain before joining Jim Henson and becoming a famous Muppeteer in America. It’s an ensemble comedy that’s stronger in exaggerated situational humor than its eccentric yet one-dimensional characterizations. Best remembered as dashing Mr. Darcy opposite Keira Knightly in “Pride and Prejudice,” Matthew Macfadyen transforms into diligently dowdy here. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Death at a Funeral” is a silly, screwball 7 – for those who enjoy droll British humor.

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Becoming Jane

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Becoming Jane” (Miramax Films)

There’s a strange dŽjˆ vu quality about this fictionalized biography of Jane Austen in that, if you’re familiar with “Pride and Prejudice,” you’ve seen the same story – better done – before.
Set in late 18th century England, it’s all about marrying off a rebellious young woman in an era of obedience and docility. “That girl needs a husband,” declares her mother (Julie Walters) at the outset. But her father, Rev. Austen (James Cromwell), realizes that finding a ‘suitable’ (i.e.: wealthy) one won’t be easy. After all, Jane’s already rejected Mr. Wisley (Laurence Fox), the nephew of Lady Gresham (Maggie Smith).
“His fortune will not buy me,” Jane declares stubbornly – to which her mother observes, “Affection is desirable but money is absolutely indispensable!”
Instead, Jane’s smitten by a charming but penniless Irish lawyer-in-training Tom Lefroy (James McAvoy), whose penchant for bare-knuckle boxing appalls his uncle and benefactor (Ian Richardson).
Adapted as a vapid melodrama – without neither proper chronology nor a shred of originality or Austen wit – by Sarah Williams and Kevin Hood from Jon Spence’s biography, distractingly dimly photographed in Ireland by Eigil Bryld and directed at a plodding, pedestrian pace by Julian Jarrold (“Kinky Boots”), it’s very, very literary – and quite tedious. But that’s not the fault of Anne Hathaway (“The Princess Diaries,” “The Devil Wears Prada”), who acquits herself admirably with veteran thespians Maggie Smith, Julie Walters, James Cromwell and Ian Richardson – in his last screen role.
Judging by this and Renee Zellweger’s lackluster “Miss Potter,” about writer Beatrix Potter, the lives of these lady writers in Regency society fare far better on paper. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Becoming Jane” is a bland 5. It’s a stilted, stuffy costume drama masquerading as a chick flick.

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Daddy Day Camp

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Daddy Day Camp” (Sony Pictures Entertainment)

This lackluster sequel to “Daddy Day Care” continues the dysfunctional family concept as Charlie Hinton (Cuba Gooding Jr.) and his partner Phil Ryerson (Paul Rae) endeavor to launch a day camp, stepping into the hard-to-fill footprints of Eddie Murphy and Jeff Garlin, who starred in the original.
Years ago, both men had traumatizing experiences as campers. Charlie, in particular, suffered humiliation at the 1977 Summer Camp Olympiad by a tormentor named Lance Warner (Lochlyn Munro), who now heads Camp Canola, a rich kids’ spa with materialistic extravagances like four-wheelers, jet skis, etc. – plus waiters and valets.
So Charlie and Phil – with the best of intentions – buy Uncle Morty’s (Brian Doyle-Murphy) dilapidated Camp Driftwood, located across the lake from cushy Camp Canola. The site is a health-department disaster – with a serious methane problem lurking in the outhouse.
Their campers are a predictably motley crew: the bully (Tyger Rawlings), the puker (Talon Ackerman), the cool girl (Katie Fisher), etc. And, of course, there’s Charlie’s own eager-to-please son, Ben (Spencir Bridges, real-life son of “Diff’rent Strokes” Todd Bridges), who eventually benefits from a cross-generational connection involving his father and authoritative grandfather, Marine Corps Col. Buck Hinton (Richard Gant), who teaches everyone about teamwork and perseverance.
Written by Geoff Rodkey (“Daddy Day Care”), J. David Stern and David N. Weiss, and directed by former child star Fred Savage (“Wonder Years”), its plot is uncomfortably reminiscent of the “Cheaper by the Dozen” sequel and its humor derives from the campers’ toilet and digestive tract and malfunctions, like vomiting, farting, bed-wetting, etc. It’s potty humor – from beginning to end. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Daddy Day Camp” is a truly tedious 2 except, perhaps, for the matinee moppets with indulgent parents.

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Rush Hour 3

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Rush Hour 3” (New Line Cinema)

In its third incarnation, this once-amusing, East-West, globe-trotting franchise simply fizzles, particularly in comparison with “The Bourne Ultimatum.”
When Chinese Ambassador Han (Tzi Ma) and his now-20-year-old daughter Soo Yung (Zhang Jingchu) are in Los Angeles, he’s shot in an assassination attempt just as he’s about to publicly identify a gangland leader at the World Criminal Court. (These two Asian characters appeared in the original “Rush Hour.”)
In his capacity as Han’s bodyguard, Inspector Lee (Jackie Chan) pursues the culprit, only to discover that the hit man is Kenji (Hiroyuki Sanada), a “brother” with whom he grew up in a Chinese orphanage. Kenji works with an international crime syndicate known as the Triads, now based in France. Teaming up, once again, with LAPD detective Carter (Chris Tucker), who has been demoted to traffic duty and witnessed Lee’s chase after Kenji, the ever-bickering duo take off for Paris, where most of the action takes place.
Experienced “Rush Hour” screenwriter Jeff Nathanson and director Brett Ratner maintain the odd-couple, buddy-cop concept if not the momentum. The climactic acrobatic conflict is staged at night on the exposed beams high atop the Eiffel Tower.
Despite their obvious camaraderie, Jackie Chan is aging, stunt-wise, and Chris Tucker’s comedy has gone stale. Newcomers on the scene are Yves Attal as a virulently anti-American taxi driver, Julie Depardieu as his Parisian wife, Noemie Lenoir as the exotic and mysterious Genevieve, and Max von Sydow as enigmatic Reynard, head of the World Criminal Court. Director Roman Polanski appears in an uncredited cameo as a sadistic Gallic police chief. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Rush Hour 3” is a formulaic 5 – which probably will not discourage loyal fans from lining up at the box-office.

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September Dawn

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “September Dawn” (Black Diamond Films)

Bound to incite a new wave of anti-Mormon controversy, “September Dawn” chronicles the horrific real-life Mountain Meadows massacre, the first known act of religious terrorism on U.S. soil and one of the darkest moments in Mormon history.
Back on September 11, 1857, 120 innocent pioneers – men, women and children – en route to California were slaughtered in Utah by a raiding party that claimed direct orders from the Mormon Church hierarchy. Only 17 of the youngest children were spared and later ‘adopted’ by local Mormon families.
When the wagon-train, led by Capt. Alexander Fancher (Shaun Johnston), encounters fanatic Mormon Bishop Jacob Samuelson (Jon Voight), just outside Cedar City, there’s immediate tension. Believing rumors that U.S. troops might remove Territorial Governor Brigham Young (Terence Stamp), the Mormons are distrustful of “Gentiles,” which is what they call anyone not of their faith. While Bishop Samuelson reluctantly allows Capt. Fancher’s party to camp for two weeks, he dispatches his oldest son (Trent Ford) to spy on them and, in doing so, the young man falls in love with the minister’s daughter (Tamara Hope). With its “Romeo and Juliet” theme, tragedy is inevitable as religious fanaticism overwhelms reason.
Determined to be historically accurate, filmmaker Christopher Cain (“Young Guns”) drew on a 27-page confession by John D. Lee, who was convicted for his part in the carnage, along with actual transcripts of Brigham Young’s fiery sermons which instructed, “If any miserable scoundrels come here, cut their throats.”
While the convoluted narrative is, at times, confusing, the cast is convincing, including a cameo by Dean Cain (the director’s son) as slain Mormon Prophet Joseph Smith. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “September Dawn” is a cautionary 6. It’s a stirring Western drama with a timely, pertinent message.

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Resurrecting the Champ

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Resurrecting the Champ” (Yari Film Group)

Film critic-turned-writer/director Rod Lurie (“The Contender,” TV’s “Commander-in-Chief”) scores again with this crowd-pleasing sports drama
Ambitious Erik Kernan (Josh Hartnett) is a struggling rookie sports reporter at the Denver Times who labors under the cloud of his late newspaperman father’s stellar reputation, trying – in vain – to please Metz (Alan Alda), his demanding editor.
One day, Erik, literally, stumbles onto an elderly homeless man, nicknamed Champ (Samuel L. Jackson), who was beaten up by a gang of juvenile delinquents while rummaging for booze in garbage cans in a downtown alley. The vagrant refers to himself as boxing legend Battling Bob Satterfield, who was believed to have passed away long ago. Satterfield was once a heavyweight ‘contender’ in every sense of the word, ranked #3 in the world and sparring with Rocky Marciano.
Encouraged by the editor (David Paymer) of the newspaper’s magazine section, Erik is determined to tell Champ’s story, and the co-dependent relationship that develops between writer-and-subject takes some wild jabs and makes unexpected bobs and weaves. Meanwhile, in the background, there’s Erik’s estranged wife/co-worker (Kathryn Morris) and young son (Dakota Goyo).
Wearing a gray wig of wild dreadlocks, Samuel L. Jackson is terrific as the battered-but-unbowed Champ. Josh Hartnett scores and – in supporting roles – so do Teri Hatcher and Peter Coyote.
Based on a true Los Angeles Times magazine story by J.R. Moehringer and adapted for the screen by Michael Bortman and Allison Burnett, it’s not only a boxing saga but also a contemplation of journalistic ethics – kind of like “Rocky” meets “All the President’s Men.” On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Resurrecting the Champ” is an uplifting, redemptive 7. As Erik observes: “It’s you that’s out there – and there’s no place to hide.”

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