Movie/TV Reviews

Stomp the Yard

Susan Granger’s review of “Stomp the Yard” (Screen Gems)

Movie musicals about rival gangs aren’t unusual – remember the Jets and the Sharks in “West Side Story” – but this new one adds a hip-hop collegiate twist.
When DJ (Columbus Short), a sullen scholarship student from Los Angeles whose street-dancing brother was killed by thugs, enters Atlanta’s prestigious, all-black Truth University – with a heritage that includes Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., Coretta Scott King, Rosa Parks, Esther Rolle – he discovers step competition: a vigorous combination of marching, precision dancing and chanting.
With his smooth Southern California steps, he’s a prize pledge, so it’s not surprising that two fraternities rival for his favor in the upcoming national competition. But he has some lessons to learn about discipline and teamwork, curbing his tendency toward self-centered showboating on his own. Plus, he has to juggle his academic studies and his campus job of cutting lawns for his stern groundskeeper uncle (Harry J. Lennix). Of course, there’s the enticing co-ed (Meagan Good), daughter of the provost and girlfriend of the egomaniac villain (pop music choreographer Darrin Hensen).
Screenwriters Gregory Anderson and Robert Adetuyi (“Code Name: The Cleaner”) toss the trash-talking clichŽs, while director Sylvian White utilizes his quick-cut music video/commercial background. But they do reveal some of the complexities of black college life, a topic that has not been cinematically explored since “Drumline” and “School Daze,” although editor David Checel should have begged for brevity.
Actor/dancer Columbus Short, who performed in Savion Glover’s “Stomp,” gets an once-in-a-lifetime chance to show his stuff in this musical melodrama that’s enthusiastically choreographed by Dave Scott. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Stomp the Yard” is a raucous, rhythmic 6. It’s a frenetic, exhilarating fable about finding your place in a group.

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God Grew Tired of Us

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “God Grew Tired of Us” (Newmarket/National Geographic Films)

Perhaps you’ve heard about the 27,000 boys, some as young as five, who fled Sudan when the Arab-Muslim north attacked the Christian, or animistic, south in 1983. In 1987, the Islamic fundamentalist government decreed it would kill all male children in the south. Many were burned in their homes. In terror, these boys, mostly from the Dinka tribe, fled on foot through more than 1,000 miles of sub-Saharan wilderness.
About 12,000 made it to the Kokuma Refugee Camp in Kenya, where they’ve lived for more than 15 years, away from their families, forming their own fraternal bonds. This documentary focuses on three of these “lost boys” – John Bul Dau, Panther Bior and Daniel Abol Pach – now young men, who were allowed to immigrate to the United States.
While they’re often awed by the marvels of electricity, toilets, apartments and supermarkets and always grateful, they’re also saddened by the lonely, alienated American lifestyle. Astonishingly eloquent, they articulate how they miss the close-knit group support as they adjust to this new, highly individualistic culture. In their spiritual values, kindness and consideration are of utmost importance, even with strangers.
One of their friends, we’re told, becomes mentally ill and must be institutionalized. But these three survive their relocation, struggle to get an education, and consistently send money back to friends and family in Africa, determined to help others from their homeland attain a better life.
Filmmaker Christopher Quinn utilizes archival footage to set the tone, as narrator Nicole Kidman provides connective continuity. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “God Grew Tired of Us” is an inspiring 10, proving that the American Dream is still alive and that the human spirit is, indeed, indomitable.

God Grew Tired of Us

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Smokin’ Aces

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Smokin’ Aces” (Universal Pictures)

I’m sure the action/comedy production pitch was something like, “There’s this sleazy magician, a witness against the mob, who’s being pursued by a wacky bunch of killers – kind of like ‘It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World’ if it were directed by Quentin Tarantino.” That sounds like fun – but isn’t.
Living as a decadent cokehead in the Nomad Casino’s splendid penthouse in Lake Tahoe, Nevada, Buddy “Aces” Israel (Jeremy Piven of “The Entourage”) knows too much about organized crime in Las Vegas and is ready to rat out, so Mafia boss Primo Sparazza (Joseph Ruskin) puts out a million-dollar contract on him.
Buddy is supposed to be in the protective custody of federal agents Carruthers (Ray Liotta) and Messner (Ryan Reynolds), who work under Deputy Director Stanley Locke (Andy Garcia). The FBI wants Buddy alive to testify as state’s evidence – and Buddy’s looking forward to the witness protection program to stay alive.
“You see exactly, and only, what I choose to show you,” says Buddy. “That’s illusion. That’s the lie I tell your eyes.”
But that doesn’t deter the motley assortment of free-lance thugs, mobsters, bounty hunters and neo-Nazis – like Ben Affleck, Martin Henderson, Peter Berg, Chris Pine, Kevin Durand, Maury Serling, Tommy Flanagan, Nestor Carbonell, along with stunning lesbian lovers Alicia Keys and Taraji Henson – who are determined to bring Buddy down before the feds can use him as their star witness. Bang! Bang!
After getting off to a promising, pulpy start, writer/director Joe Carnahan (“Narc”) wears out his welcome quickly as the body count mounts and the blood-splattered chases become more and more incomprehensible. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Smokin’ Aces” is a sloppy, slapstick, son-of-“Pulp Fiction” 3. It’s a silly sucker bet.

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Catch and Release

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Catch and Release” (Columbia Pictures)

If you’re a die-hard Jennifer Garner fan, you’ll probably have seen romantic comedy on opening day; if not, don’t bother with this chick-flick now.
Garner plays bride-to-be Gray Wheeler whose supposedly perfect fiancŽ dies in a fishing accident in Boulder, Colorado. Dressed in black, she welcomes guests to his wake just as the wedding caterers pull up. Oh so coincidentally, she winds up in the bathroom which her late husband’s lothario childhood buddy from Malibu, Fritz (Timothy Olyphant), has staked out to make it with the event planner.
“How could he have been friends with you?” she sputters. “You’re everything he hated.”
Right away, the concept strains credulity. Did no one notify the caterers of the groom’s demise? And why wouldn’t she lock the door of the bathroom? And so it goes.
Predictably – and inevitably – Gray and Fritz get it on, moving into a house that belongs to two of her fiancŽ’s friends (Kevin Smith, Sam Jaeger). Meanwhile, Gray discovers troubling secrets that her fiancŽ kept from her – like the fact that he was a millionaire and sending a monthly check for $3,000 to a massage therapist (Juliette Lewis) in L.A., the mother of his son, Mattie (Joshua Friesen). As if the tiny pad weren’t crowded enough, Mattie and his mother also move in. It’s all quite simpering and sappy.
This marks the directorial debut of Susannah Grant, who wrote “Charlotte’s Web,” “Erin Brockovich,” and “In Her Shoes,” and her inexperience behind the camera is all too evident. So is Jennifer Garner’s tentativeness, since shooting took place while she was newly pregnant back in 2005 and obviously self-conscious about her rounding belly. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Catch and Release” is a floundering 4. Throw it back.

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Seraphim Falls

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Seraphim Falls” (Samuel Goldwyn Films)

Set in 1868, five years after the end of the American Civil War, this epic Western thriller revolves around relentless revenge.
As the story opens, a mysterious, bearded stranger (Pierce Brosnan) is ambushed and shot in the Ruby mountain wilderness of Nevada by a former Colonel in the Confederate Army (Liam Neeson) and his hired posse of trackers. Terrified, he flees, tumbling down a snowy slope, falling into a rushing river and surviving a steep waterfall. Thoroughly chilled and bleeding profusely, he drags himself to shore, digs out the bullet embedded in his arm with his hunting knife and cauterizes the wound, while stifling his pain. Then he continues running – with the Colonel and his men close behind.
Once in the lowlands, the chase continues, as the stranger steals a horse from some bank robbers, then tries to steal another horse from a pioneer family as his pursuers encounter a wagon train of Mormon settlers. There’s a hide-and-seek interlude in a rowdy construction camp for the transcontinental railroad and a surreal encounter with a “cure-all” potion peddler (Anjelica Huston). Gradually, we discover that the taciturn stranger is actually a former Union Army captain whose troops senselessly slaughtered his pursuer’s wife and children.
The violence-drenched, biblically-themed, allegorical screenplay was written and directed by TV helmer David Von Ancken – with writing assistance by Abby Everett Jaques – and produced by Mel Gibson’s Icon Productions. If the ambiguous story seems familiar, that’s because it unabashedly resembles Clint Eastwood’s “The Outlaw Josey Wales.” What’s most memorable – and commendable – is the spectacular cinematography by John Toll (“Braveheart,” Legends of the Fall”). On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Seraphim Falls” is a sanctimonious, slow-paced 5. It’s 111 ponderous minutes of retribution and, eventually, forgiveness.

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The Black Dahlia

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “The Black Dahlia” (Universal Pictures)

Back in 1947, reports of the notorious murder of Elizabeth “Betty” Short riveted the nation – and her case remains one of the most gruesome, unsolved murders in the crime history of Los Angeles.
These are the facts: in a vacant lot, the LAPD discovered the nude, mutilated remains of a young wannabe actress, cut in half at the waist and disemboweled – with her mouth from slit ear to ear in a sickening, clownish grin.
Using this horrific homicide as background, novelist James Ellroy (“L.A. Confidential”) concocted a tale about two detectives whose lives became interwoven through their intense investigation. Screenwriter Josh Friedman (“War of the Worlds”) and director Brian DePalma (“The Untouchables,” “Scarface”) take the crime, sleaze and corruption several steps further, creating so many spooky, misogynistic subplots that the sordid film noir becomes ludicrous.
Leland “Lee” Blanchard (Aaron Eckart) and his younger partner, Dwight “Bucky” Bleichert (Josh Hartnett) are former boxers, known as “Fire” and “Ice.” Lee’s girl-friend is voluptuous Kay Lake (Scarlett Johansson), a dame with a dubious past who displays an erotic interest in Bucky. Meanwhile, there’s this spoiled, lesbian-leaning socialite, Madeleine Linscott (Hilary Swank), who, supposedly, bears a remarkable resemblance to the murdered Betty Short (Mia Kirshner).
Problem is: Swank doesn’t look at all like Kirshner – which makes the motive murky as the plot threads get tangled in a web of confusion. (Wanna find look-alikes? Recall how Natalie Portman and Keira Knightley were truly indistinguishable in “Star Wars, Episode I: The Phantom Menace”).
Plus, the entire cast chews the scenery, their tawdry, melodramatic antics often evoking unintentional amusement. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “The Black Dahlia” is a foul, florid 4. “Nothing stays buried forever,” we’re told. But this should. It wilts under scrutiny.

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Beerfest

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Beerfest” (Warner Bros.)

When American brothers Todd and Jan Wolfhouse (Erik Stolhanske and Paul Soter) are sent to Germany on a mission to spread their grandfather’s ashes at Oktoberfest, they stumble onto a frothy, super-secret, centuries-old competition – the Olympics of beer guzzling. And the reigning champions are their belching, beer-brewing cousins, the Von Wolfhausens, who literally drink them under the table as the Great Beer Baron (Juergen Prochnow) dumps their grandfather’s remains over their heads.
Vowing to return to Munich next year to defend their honor, the Wolfhouse lads recruit a thirsty dream team: a down-on-his-luck beer games champ (Jay Chandrasekhar, who also directs this debacle), a chubby chugging machine (Kevin Heffernan) and a lab technician (Steve Lemme) whose unscientific hobby is collecting frog ejaculate.
While the Americans square off against aggressive Aussies, belligerent British sailors and two Teutonic bingers known as Hammacher and Schlemmer, the family matriarch, Great Gam Gam (Cloris Leachman), watched over by a saucy caretaker (Mo’Nique), lasciviously strokes a frankfurter, murmuring, “I always sleep better when I have some sausage in me.”
I’m told that five irreverent comedians who form The Broken Lizard comedy group can be funny, but there are few traces here. As the story goes, inspiration for this outing erupted when they were in Australia promoting “Star Troopers” and wound up at a beer festival in Queensland where they challenged – and were lathered by – a mob of drunken roughnecks. According to the press notes, this movie is their revenge, with Jay Chandraeskhar (“The Dukes of Hazzard”) tying together their silly skits and sketches, the highlight being their boozy ride on a bicycle-built-for-five. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Beerfest” is a tepid 3. This R-rated celebration of binge drinking goes flat fast.

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Fearless

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Fearless” (Rogue Pictures)

While it’s certainly no “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon,” Jet Li’s fists and feet fly in this biography of Chinese kung fu master Huo Yuanjia (1868-1910).
The story opens in Shanghai in 1910 as Huo (Jet Li) is participating in a tournament to defend China’s honor against foreign fighters who have labeled his countrymen “the weak men of Asia.” Combining traditional weaponry and hand-to-hand combat, Huo faces three formidable opponents. Just as Huo prepares to face his fourth and final challenger, Tanaka (Nakamura Shidou), there’s a flashback to a pivotal moment in his childhood involving his martial artist father (Collin Chou), a provincial champion.
Determined to prove himself, the teenage Huo becomes an arrogant, self-centered rebel before an inevitable tragedy occurs and enlightenment dawns. Realizing that martial arts are about peace, not violence, he founds the famed Jingwu Sports Federation, the school that Bruce Lee attended in “Fist of Fury.” In the middle of the narrative, there’s a moving interlude where Huo learns humility and respect through his friendship with a blind woman and her beautiful granddaughter (Betty Sun) in a small rice-farming community.
While acknowledgment for the formulaic melodrama, filled with clichŽ platitudes, goes to screenwriters Chris Chow and Christine To, along with director Ronny Yu (“Bride of Chucky,” “Freddy vs. Jason”), credit for providing excitement belongs to assistant director/stunt choreographer Yuen Wo Ping (“The Matrix” trilogy, “Kill Bill”). There’s some occasional CGI and wire work but, primarily, it’s all Jet Li’s skill and expertise. Despite “Hero” and “Unleashed,” Li’s acting ability still doesn’t match his physical prowess and the supporting players are stilted caricatures. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Fearless” is a chop-socky 5 – and 43-year old Jet Li has designated this as his final performance doing Chinese Wu Shu martial arts.

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The Covenant

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “The Covenant” (Screen Gems/Sony)

When “The Covenant” was not screened for critics prior to its release, it was an immediate indication that Screen Gems had a dud on their hands – and they do.
The supernatural set-up is this: back in 1672, in the Ipswich Colony of Massachusetts, five powerful families descended from the Salem witches formed a covenant of silence. But one family, lusting for more, was banished – their bloodline disappearing without a trace. Until now.
Skip to the present, as four blandly hunky male model-types (Stephen Strait, Taylor Kitsch, Jesse McCartney, Toby Hemingway) are students at the elite Spencer Academy. As descendants of those original families, these boys have been born with dark powers that could consume them if they tap into them too often, and they honor their genetic ancestry. Then there’s this other fellow (Chace Crawford), a transfer student. Guess where he came from?
When the body of a dead student is discovered after a prep school party, catastrophic secrets begin to unravel which threaten to break the covenant of silence that has protected their families for hundreds of years.
So much for the 97 minutes of plot. What really consumes these indistinguishable, testosterone-driven guys, self-consciously striking poses in their Speedos, are the nubile girls (Jessica Lucas, Laura Ramsey) who cavort around the dorms in their underwear – and there’s one memorable scene in which a car explodes and is put back together by magic.
Screenwriter J.S. Cardone (“Alien Hunter,” “The Forsaken”) and director Renny Harlin (“The Long Kiss Goodnight,” “Cutthroat Island”) don’t muster much horror, much less tap into the thriller aspect – and the budget must have been miniscule. So on the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “The Covenant” is a 2. Wait for the DVD.

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All the King’s Men

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “All the King’s Men” (Columbia Pictures)

Despite urging from political consultant James Carville, one wonders why writer/director Steven Zaillian chose to re-make the Oscar-winning “All the King’s Men” (1949), adapting Robert Penn Warren’s novel about a corrupt Southern governor, Willie Stark, obviously based on Louisiana’s Huey P. Long – and then miscast it so completely.
Coming from cracker country, flamboyant redneck politician Willie Stark (Sean Penn) had a knack for becoming legendary; he could not be ignored. So when the local party boss (James Gandolfini) made him a sacrificial sap running for Governor, Stark stunned and electrified the masses, becoming a powerful demagogue.
Meanwhile, back in the aristocratic bayou country, there’s this journalist (Jude Law) trapped by a romantic delusion involving the daughter (Kate Winslet) of a prominent judge (Anthony Hopkins) and a lifelong friendship with her melancholy, idealistic brother (Mark Ruffalo). These diverse characters are on a convoluted collision course of bribery and blackmail.
Since wiry Sean Penn bears no physical resemblance to the stocky Long, he energetically compensates with angry, defiant rhetoric. While Willie should be crass and crude, Penn makes him sneaky and sleazy, having more than his share of bad hair days. And it almost works, particularly since Pawel Edelman photographs Penn from beneath, making him loom larger than he is, and Patrizia Von Brandenstein’s production design evokes an authentic Louisiana of the 1940s, although the original story was set in the Depression-era.
Problem is: because none of the actors manage a convincing Southern dialect, the dialogue is often garbled and distracting. There’s not a shred of believability and, therefore, no emotional investment. So on the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “All the King’s Men” is a ponderous, pretentious 6. Instead of a timeless, relevant political commentary, it just feels discordant and tediously dated.

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