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Archive 1999

Susan Granger's review of "THE HAUNTING" (DreamWorks)
Eugenio Zanetti is the star of this film, no question about it. He's the production designer who created Hill House, a spectacular Gothic mansion that delivers one helluva performance as an ominous haunted house that captures the imaginations of its guests. Zanetti makes rooms collapse, even fold into themselves, and there's a demonic bed whose canopy descends with tentacles like an octopus. Paintings, carvings, statues, even curtains come alive. And there's the slow, ghostly breathing emanating from deep inside. The question is: why would Liam Neeson, Catherine Zeta-Jones, and Lili Taylor want to play second-fiddle to such an incredible creation that, in fact, makes them seem wooden? Looking terrified and screaming is really all that's required in David Self's inane script, based on Shirley Jackson's scare-classic, "The Haunting of Hill House." And the stylistic vision of director Jan DeBont ("Speed," "Twister") truly revolves around the special effects. As the story begins, Neeson, as a devious psychologist, brings three insomniacs to Hill House, outside Boston, for what he tells them is a sleep disorder study. In fact, he's designed the experiment to observe the dynamics of fear, explaining: "You don't tell the rats that they're actually in a maze." But his guests do know that, in the 1800s, a satanic textile manufacturer, Hugh Crain, erected this stately "Taj Mahal" for his beloved wife and their eight children, who are all buried nearby. What no one realizes is that Hill House has become Crain's massive physical embodiment. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "The Haunting" is a spooky 4, playing tricks with your mind as you munch your popcorn. If you're curious, director Robert Wise made a far more subtle, restrained version (1963), available on video.

Susan Granger's review of "THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT" (Artisan Entertainment)
On October 21, 1994, three young film-makers hiked into the Black Hills Forest of Maryland to shoot a documentary about the local legend of the Blair Witch. They were never seen or heard from again. One year later, their footage was found. This film is their legacy, we're told, documenting what happened in the woods. Heather Donahue sets the stage by interviewing residents about the spooky folktale that involves mysterious disappearances and evidence of gruesome torture. Her two male companions, Joshua Leonard and Michael Williams, trudge along. Terror strikes on the second night when they hear snapping twigs and branches that sound like people circling their tent - and then they find a hank of hair ritualistically tied with blood and human tooth. "I'm scared to close my eyes. I'm scared to open them," she says, as the fear builds. While the twisted conclusion is not as horrific as you might expect, it's ambiguous enough to keep you talking after the show's over. The story behind this low-budget, counterfeit chiller is: writer-director-editors Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sanchez hired three actors and sent them into the woods for eight days to improvise the picture. Certain destination points and encounters were scripted, others definitely weren't. Therefore, the images you see on the screen are often crude and jiggly - due to the hand-held camera. Nevertheless, on the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "The Blair Witch Project" is a goose-bumply, spine-tingling, scary 7. This creepy, clever, edge-of-your-seat thriller succeeds because it plays on your imagination, your fear of the dark and the unknown and the unseen, as opposed to showing graphic displays of violence and brutality. What you create in your mind is far more terrifying than anything someone can do with special effects.

Susan Granger's review of "MY SON THE FANATIC" (Miramax Films)
This is an unconventional love story about a Pakistani immigrant who strays from his wife and the stability of his home when he falls in love with a British prostitute. But what makes it even more compelling is that screenwriter Hanif Kureishi ("My Beautiful Laundrette") satirically reverses the conservative, middle-aged father/freedom-loving son rebellion axiom, giving it an unexpected twist. Acclaimed Indian actor Om Puri ("Gandhi," "City of Joy") is superb and utterly convincing as a Scotch-drinking, cricket-loving, jazz enthusiast who has spent 25 years driving a taxi in industrial Bradford, England. He is worried about his beloved son (Akbar Kurtha) who has broken his engagement to the Caucasian daughter of a British police detective and is selling off his "capitalist pig" possessions as part of a religious conversion to militant, fundamentalist Islam, with all of its anti-semitic overtones, in order to find personal identity after many years of being made to feel like an outsider. Directed by Udayan Prasad with a cast that includes Rachel Griffiths (Oscar-nominated for "Hilary and Jackie") and Skellan Skarsgard ("Good Will Hunting"), the film probes universal conflicts, using disparate lives to examine the broad moral themes of love versus duty and happiness versus personal sacrifice - in addition to the racial and cultural problems inherent in assimilation. It gets a bit melodramatic towards the conclusion but, on the whole, it's quite engaging, pursing the point that "After a certain age, there's no point in saying 'No' to everything." On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "My Son the Fanatic" is a bittersweet, compassionate 7. It's engaging, off-beat art house fare but, for those with auditory problems, it's often difficult to decipher the North London burr and the Pakistani accent.

Susan Granger's review of "LAKE PLACID" (20th Century-Fox)
Every summer needs its monster movie - think "Jaws" - and this one has the added comedic touch of David E. Kelley, creator of TV's "Ally McBeal," "Chicago Hope," "L.A. Law," and "The Practice." Bridget Fonda stars as a paleontologist who is sent from museum in New York City to a tranquil lake in Maine to verify a shard, a supposed fossil, which turns out to be a tooth from a primitive, mysterious predator who has killed a member of the Fish & Game department. That's where Bill Pullman comes in. He's the perennially cool Fish & Game Warden. Right away, there's friction because she's not only annoyingly phobic about the wilderness but she's also arrogantly embittered about men and love. Then there's Oliver Platt, a rich, wacky, world-renown mythology professor, and Brendan Gleeson, the irascible sheriff. These neurotic, off-beat, disparate characters band together to discover what's devouring not only the wildlife but people - on land and in Black Lake. It turns out to be a 30-foot crocodile that has migrated to New England and been adopted as "a pet who lives in the wild" by a local eccentric, played by Betty White. The elusive reptile is terrifyingly realistic - thanks to the special effects creativity of Stan Winston ("Aliens," "Jurassic Park"). Producer/writer David E. Kelley and director Steve Miner (sequels 2 & 3 of "Friday the 13th," "Halloween: H20") supply enough absurdly inventive satire, derived from the eclectic characters, to keep what could have been a prosaic horror/thriller afloat. But the title is a bit misleading - this has absolutely nothing to do with the summer tourist haven of Lake Placid, New York. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Lake Placid" is a gruesome but surprising 6. It's a hip, caustic creature-feature with an unexpectedly snappy, comedic bite.

Susan Granger's review of "AMERICAN PIE" (Universal Pictures)
You don't need a ouija board to predict that outrageous, adolescent sex comedies will be big box-office. Milder versions like "Porky's" and "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" were hot in the '80s, but the trend, ever since "Something About Mary," is toward edgy, raw, in-your-face vulgarity. And a slice of "American Pie" is about as raucous, raunchy, and ribald as you can get. Surprisingly, it's a true teen-sounding movie. The testosterone-driven plot revolves around four insecure high school seniors who make a pact not to be virgins after Prom Night, which is only three weeks away. There's Jason Biggs, who's like a young Adam Sandler, gamely agonizing through a hilarious "date" with a Czechoslovakian exchange student that's accidentally broadcast over the Internet. Thomas Ian Nicholas initiates the "We will get laid!" vow, despite the fact that he's never gotten past "third base" with his girl-friend. Eddie Kaye Thomas relies on rumors he's invented about his sexual prowess. And Chris Klein cultivates a corny sensitivity to charm a sweet choir girl. First-time film-makers Chris and Paul Weitz are heavily into gross-out humor, like the "Dumb and Dumber" Farrelly brothers, and Adam Herz's screenplay is slick, straight-forward funny with zero subtext. Sex itself is described as "warm apple pie." (Sara Lee is cringing!) Despite the crude jokes about masturbation, penis size, condoms, and various bodily functions, the underlying theme is about losing one's innocence. "It's not a space shuttle launch..it's sex." On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "American Pie" is a spicy 6 if you're a teenager but a stale 4 if you're old enough to be out of college. Odd, isn't it, that Hollywood knows that its young target audience will somehow wangle its way into this R-rated movie?

Susan Granger's review of "SOUTH PARK: BIGGER, LONGER & UNCUT" (Paramount/Warner release)
"Off to the movies we shall go...Where we learn everything that we know...'Cause the movies teach us what our parents don't have time to say." That's the "Mountain Song," which begins this rude, raunchy, animated musical, starring Comedy Central's most corrupted TV third-graders. The cheeky tykes - Cartman, Stan, Kyle and Kenny - bribe a homeless man to take them to an R-rated movie, "Asses of Fire," starring a foul-mouthed, flatulent Canadian duo. Armed with a scatological vocabulary, which they don't truly comprehend, the boys start spewing such profanity that their once-peaceful South Park community launches a vindictive anti-smut campaign which grows into a national movement, resulting in the United States declaring war on Canada. In one of the most cynical vignettes, one of the boys has a behavior-modification V-chip implanted, delivering a severe electrical shock each time he utters a bad word. How is the movie different from the TV series? It's a musical with nasty, dirty parodies of "The Sound of Music" and "Les Miserables" with some inspirational ballads tossed in. Writer/director Trey Parker, along with Matt Stone, Pam Brady, and composer Marc Shaiman have devised a cleverly scathing, if crude, social parable, mocking our fear of and distaste for toilet humor, Satan, and Saddam Hussein, plus making some biting points about censorship, tolerance, and freedom of speech. Celebrity voices include George Clooney, Minnie Driver, Brent Spiner, and Eric Idle. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "South Park" is an obscene, offensive, smutty 7. Warning to parents: this funny, fast-paced, irreverent film pushes the envelope of its R-rating and, while childish, is definitely for adults, not children.


Susan Granger's review of "ARLINGTON ROAD" (Sony Pictures/Screen Gems Release)
This contemporary thriller stars Jeff Bridges as a college professor whose FBI-agent wife was killed in a botched raid on an alleged right-wing cult. The film was scheduled to open in May, shortly after the Columbine High School massacre in Littleton, Colorado. With its tagline, "Fear thy neighbor," its release was understandably postponed. The theme revolves around how everyday appearances can be deceiving. This concept is personified by a seemingly normal, all-American couple - Tim Robbins and Joan Cusack - who move with their three children into a suburban Washington, D.C. neighborhood. Gradually, Bridges, who teaches a course in terrorism, senses something suspicious about them. Is he just paranoid or are they part of a lethal, para-military conspiracy? "There's no gratuitous violence," Bridges says, "but it does deal with a violent subject, with militia groups - and how some people express unhappiness toward the government and their own lives. Certainly, I would hope it doesn't lead to copycat crimes. However, it's a tough subject: whether the arts reflect society or lead society. I don't know if we want to put restrictions on creativity, but, at the same time, we certainly do not want to inspire people to do violence." Writer Ehren Kruger and director Mark Pellington are obviously manipulative as they explore this volatile subject with a stylish scenario that leads to a grim, uncompromising, over-the-top conclusion. Both Cusack and Robbins seem to relish their intriguing, intimidating roles with an evil glee, and Jeff Bridges delivers a solid performance as the tormented widower who becomes a pawn in their plot to dismantle American society. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Arlington Road" is a sinister, scary 6, making you skeptical about anyone's safety. It delivers a chilling shiver on a hot summer's night.


Susan Granger's review of "SUMMER OF SAM" (Buena Vista/Touchstone)
The perennial question facing film-makers has always been: Should movies try to influence their audience - using morality stories, fables, fantasies, etc. - or should movies simply, often boldly, reflect the society of their time? Spike Lee chooses the latter. There's no doubt that the anger and violence, stupidity and intolerance that he depicts are real. But do you really want to spend a sluggish two hours with these unpleasant, unsavory characters? Set in the sweltering summer of '77, when the Son of Sam psychopath, David Berkowitz, went on his bloody killing spree in the Bronx, the story revolves around two couples who are long-time friends. Mira Sorvino and John Leguizamo are into disco, while Jennifer Esposito and Adrien Brody are punk rockers. Each has his/her own sexually explicit problems (mostly drug-connected) but, collectively, they're spooked as they're swept into the gruesome details of Berkowitz's indiscriminate slaughter. And Ben Gazzara scores as the local crime kingpin who is determined to protect his neighborhood. Problem is: there's no bond between the moronic characters and the audience. Is it the one-dimensional roles in the episodic screenplay by Victor Colicchio, Michael Imperioli, and Spike Lee? Perhaps. But, as a director, Lee seems out of his element with these idiosyncratic Italian-Bronx characters and keeps us utterly detached. And, as an actor, Lee delivers a wretched performance as a TV newscaster overemphasizing each line. While this film is visually stylish and vigorous with pertinent historical imagery, it is, as Jimmy Breslin says, just one of eight million stories of the naked city - and quite a racist one at that. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Summer of Sam" is a bleak, brutal, repellent 3. Don't say you weren't warned.

Susan Granger's review of "THE RED VIOLIN" (Lions Gate Films)
Francois Girard's stirring, sumptuous epic follows the turbulent, if convoluted, journey of a legendary violin, famous for its perfect acoustics and unusual reddish hue. Up for auction in Canada, the stringed instrument has traveled around the globe for more than 300 years when an American expert (Samuel L. Jackson) is summoned to authenticate its worth. Created by a 17th century Italian, Nicolo Bussotti (Carlo Cecchi), as a legacy of love for his unborn son, the violin becomes an embodiment of his grief when his beloved wife Anna (Irene Grazioli) and child die in childbirth. Mysteriously, a Tarot-card reader has predicted a long, nomadic, adventure-packed life for Anna, coupling her fate to the future "life" of the Red Violin. As the intriguing story evolves, the spell of the violin seems to bewitch the lives of its various owners. It travels to monastic Austria, where it goes to a six year-old child prodigy. In England, it falls into the decadent hands of a Byronic musician (Jason Flemyng) who uses it in his flamboyant courtship of a volatile novelist (Greta Scacchi). From there, it's brought to Shanghai, where it winds up as a treasured artifact in the midst of the Chinese Cultural Revolution. Finally, Chinese authorities send it to the auction hall in modern-day Montreal, where eager bidders, descendants and friends of the people it has touched, are obsessed with acquiring the instrument. The mystery, of course, is who will wind up with this fabled masterpiece? Although the pace and quality of the sprawling flashback episodes differ greatly, on the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "The Red Violin" is an exquisite, captivating 9. It's a sweeping, cinematic symphony, a unique combination of classical and contemporary, both in music and imagery.

Susan Granger's review of "THE GENERAL'S DAUGHTER" (Paramount Pictures)
Based on Nelson DeMille's best-selling thriller, this is serious sleaze. Set on a swampy Southern Army base, the lurid story mixes rape and murder with betrayal and serious questioning of powerful West Point principles. John Travolta stars as a Criminal Investigation Divison Warrant Officer who is assigned to solve a bizarre crime. The nude, dead body of the daughter (Leslie Stefanson) of a distinguished General (James Cromwell) with political ambitions is found spread-eagled and staked to the ground in the middle of a training field. Whodunit? And why? He and his partner, rape counselor Madeleine Stowe, are given 36 hours to come up with discreet military answers before the FBI launch their own investigation. Who could have a motive to kill the beautiful West Point graduate who worked in the Psychological Operations Unit? Everyone, it seems. From the woman's Commanding Officer (the always suspicious James Woods) to the base's Provost Marshal (Timothy Hutton), who seems to pop up repeatedly in odd places, to the General's fiercely loyal Adjutant (Clarence Williams III). "How she died seems to be tied to the way she lived," Travolta astutely observes, after uncovering some decidedly freaky films detailing the woman's promiscuous, sordid sex life. Writers Christopher Bertolini and William Goldman pepper the script with flippant banter, as if they couldn't make up their minds about how seriously to take the grisly, gruesome subject matter, and director Simon West repeatedly contrives to return to the sordid, brutal crime scene as the murky melodrama unfolds to its ironic, if unlikely, conclusion. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "The General's Daughter" is a perversely kinky 4. It's tortuous, tormented, and trashy.

Susan Granger's review of "LIMBO" (Columbia Pictures)
John Sayles makes movies the way James Michener wrote books, traveling to fascinating places and placing imaginary characters amidst very real situations. Think of the intelligence and creativity of Sayles' "Secret of Roan Inish," "Lone Star," "Matewan," "Passion Fish," and "Men with Guns."
Alaska is America's last frontier. Its vast expanse of rugged, untamed wilderness is both setting and antagonist in "Limbo," the story of three isolated people who come together to face their own demons and to explore the very nature of emotional and physical risk Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio plays a tough, frustrated bar singer with a troubled, strong-willed teenage daughter, Vanessa Martinez. David Strathairn is a quiet, traumatized ex-fisherman-turned-handyman who invites them to join him for a weekend cruise which goes sour when his half-brother (Casey Siemaszko), who owns the boat, reveals he's being pursued by killers after a drug deal went bad. Their lives, past and present, form the crux of the superbly crafted drama which places them in a life-threatening survival situation from which they may not successfully emerge, depending on the whim of a quixotic bush pilot (Kris Kristofferson). "Limbo" is John Sayles' most unflinching, daringly original, and powerfully disturbing film, and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio's performance of bruising, heart-wrenching intensity is definitely Oscar-caliber. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Limbo" is a piercing, suspenseful 8. The ambiguity of its ending may be frustrating, but your reaction and subsequent conclusion reveal more about you than about the characters in the film. Remember, "limbo" is defined as "a condition of unknowable outcome."

Susan Granger's review of "TARZAN" (Buena Vista/Walt Disney)
"Tarzan" is the best animated adventure since "The Lion King"! Not only does it have family drama, laughter, love, and five new songs by Phil Collins, but it offers young boys a viable role model for the emotional conflicts of adolescence. The story begins as a shipwrecked infant is orphaned in Africa when his parents are devoured by a leopard. Despite the initial reluctance of her mate, he is adopted by a loving female gorilla, Kala (voiced by Glenn Close), who has herself lost a child. As Tarzan matures into a young man (Tony Goldwyn) with the instincts and athletic prowess of a jungle animal, his idyllic habitat is invaded by British visitors, most notably Jane (Minnie Driver). Quickly realizing that she's more like him than any other animal he's ever seen, he's immediately intrigued - and far too curious. Meanwhile, her nutty father (Nigel Hawthorne) and gun-toting, big game hunter (Brian Blessed) pose a threat to the sanctity of the jungle. That much is predictable from the Edgar Rice Burroughs classic. Yet there's a lot that's new here. Tarzan no longer swings on vines; instead, he glides through the trees like a skateboard surfer on safari. And Cheetah's been replaced by annoyingly brash, comical Terk (Rosie O'Donnell). But, even deeper, this Tarzan is an adolescent in search of his own identity, wondering: Who am I? What am I? And, most important, where do I belong? It's a coming-of-age comedy-drama, not unlike "The Lion King," and the thoughtful, sensitive conclusion differs from the traditional tale. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, this "Tarzan" is a timely, triumphant 10. He's a hero for our times: a cool guy who seeks harmony and acts from the heart, utterly devoid of machismo.

Susan Granger's review of "AUSTIN POWERS: THE SPY WHO SHAGGED ME" (New Line Cinema)
This comedy sequel continues the satirical adventures of "The International Man of Mystery," beginning with a James Bond'ish theme as the "Star Wars"-inspired introduction scrolls up the screen. In a nutshell: After Austin Powers (Mike Myers) discovers that his beloved bride, Vanessa Carrington (Elizabeth Hurley), is really a Fem-Bot (female robot), he is informed by the Head of British Intelligence (Michael York) that fiendish Fat Bastard (Mike Myers), the Scottish henchman of Dr. Evil (Mike Myers), has stolen his mojo (his essence, his life force, his sex drive), using time travel machine to go back to 1967 when Austin was cryogenically frozen. So Austin has to go back to the swingin', shagadelic '60s to retrieve his manhood. That's where he meets groovy CIA babe, Felicity Shagwell (Heather Graham): "Shagwell by name. Shag-very-well by reputation." So much for plot. Relying primarily on sight gags and toilet humor, director Jay Roach desperately grabs laughs wherever he can find them. And that includes a Jerry Springer Show riff in which Dr. Evil's son (Seth Green) confronts his father, along with Nazi and Ku Klux Klan sons, claiming: "My Father is Evil and Wants to Take Over the World." What's new? Dr. Evil has a tiny clone, known as Mini-Me. Robert Wagner and Rob Lowe play the '90s/ '60s versions of Dr. Evil's second-in-command - and Rob does the best R.J. Wagner impression I've ever seen! Burt Bacharach, Elvis Costello, Tim Robbins, Willie Nelson, and Woody Harrelson pop up in cameos. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me" is a goofy, sporadically funny, silly 6. Oh, behave! And stay for the credits.

Susan Granger's review of "THIS IS MY FATHER" (Sony Pictures Classics)
This Irish romantic drama is a uniquely personal collaboration between first-time writer-director Paul Quinn and his brothers Aidan Quinn ("Michael Collins," "Practical Magic") and Declan Quinn (cinematographer on "Leaving Las Vegas," "One True Thing"). It's the bittersweet story of a Chicago schoolteacher (James Caan) who travels to Ireland to discover his roots and learns the sad, true "Romeo and Juliet"-type tale of his mother and the father he never met. The screenplay stemmed from a story the Quinns' Irish-born mother used to tell about ill-fated lovers in her village. The couple's secret is something the tight-lipped locals still refuse to discuss - 50 years later. Told in flashback, Aidan Quinn plays Kieran, a shy tenant farmer, who meets Fiona (Moya Farrelly), a lovely, free-spirited 17 year-old, and they fall in love. But her alcoholic mother, who owns the farm on which Kieran works, disapproves because he's poor and a bastard child. Eventually, the community, mobilized by a tyrannical priest (Stephen Rea), manages to separate them. The acting is admirable with a stalwart supporting cast that includes John Cusack, Colm Meaney, Brendan Gleeson, and Donal Donnelly. The weakness of the film is the contrived structure. Paul Quinn's tragic story-line is so full of hackneyed interruptions that it loses its power - which is too bad since the poetic imagery evokes a society smothering under the weight of doomy superstition and inevitable tradition. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "This is My Father" is a gentle, moving 6. And the family collaboration will continue as the Quinn brothers' Ireland-based sister Marian is developing a script about four Dublin girls.

Susan Granger's review of "INSTINCT" (Touchstone Pictures)
Violence has become a negative catch-word recently, so it's refreshing to see how the concept is explored in this psychological thriller, based on Daniel Quinn's book "Ismael." Anthony Hopkins plays a highly respected primatologist who has been jailed for killing two Rwandan rangers and injuring others after choosing to live in the wild with mountain gorillas for nearly two years. Held captive in an overcrowded maximum security prison for the criminally insane, he is interrogated by a bright, ambitious psychiatrist, Cuba Gooding Jr., who is eager to understand the mysterious truth behind the scientist's actions in anticipation of writing a best-seller. While simplistic, Gerald DiPego's script is intelligent and thoughtful, delving into the concepts of illusion and freedom, combined with the lust for domination and control, ultimately dividing people into "givers" and "takers." Director Jon Turtletaub ("Phenomenon") integrates the brutal reality of prison life with memories of what transpired in Africa to motivate Hopkins' violent behavior. The challenging, combative chemistry between Anthony Hopkins and Cuba Gooding Jr. is palpable, escalating the tension level, which is already elevated by the hostile sadism of the prison's guards and warden. But a subplot involving Maura Tierney as Hopkins' daughter never jells, and the conclusion is cloyingly melodramatic. Arguably the most versatile and talented actor on the screen today, Anthony Hopkins evokes a volatile power and fury reminiscent of Hannibal Lechter in "The Silence of the Lambs," while Cuba Gooding Jr. displays a forceful, bruising intensity. And special-effects wizard Stan Winston works wonders with the gorillas. On the Granger Movie Gauge, "Instinct" is a compelling 7, commanding attention from start to finish.

Susan Granger's review of "NOTTING HILL" (Polygram/Universal Pictures release)
She's the most dazzling, famous movie star in the world and he's the sheepish, fumbling proprietor of a tiny travel book store on funky Notting Hill in London. Can they falls in love? Why not? In this joyous, contemporary fairy tale, anything's possible. Especially with a script by Richard Curtis ("Four Weddings and a Funeral) that's reminiscent of Audrey Hepburn's "Roman Holiday." The set-up has Julia Roberts, a glamorous American actress, meet Hugh Grant, a book-seller, in his shop - after which he inadvertently spills orange juice all over her T-shirt. She agrees to let him awkwardly clean her up in his nearby flat and - well, nature takes its course. But their path to romance has plenty of bumps which I won't ruin for you. Suffice it to say, she's the impetuous aggressor, while he's wary. She's sophisticated; he's shy. She's agile; he's clumsy. She's direct, saying whatever she thinks; he's understated and evasive, musing, "I've opened Pandora's box, and there's trouble inside." Director Roger Michell has astutely assembled a superb British supporting cast, particularly Rhys Ifans as Grant's wild, Welsh flat-mate and Emma Chambers as his ditsy sister, with Alec Baldwin in an uncredited cameo as Roberts' boy-friend who drops in unexpectedly. There are several mischievous sequences involving the absolute idiocy people display in the presence of a celebrity and a comic sparring-match with the British tabloid press, plus a timely scandal involving obscene photos and sly, amusing repartee involving Mel Gibson's bottom. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Notting Hill" is an amusing, captivating, relentlessly entertaining 10 - a perfect date movie and one of the most delightful films in years!

Susan Granger's review of "STAR WARS: EPISODE I, THE PHANTOM MENACE" (20th Century-Fox)
The Force is definitely with George Lucas in this first of three "Star Wars" prequels which attempt to awaken a mythic, sci-fi kind of spirituality as they chronicle the life and times of young Anakin Skywalker (Jake Lloyd) who eventually becomes Darth Vader. For those of you to whom this cultural icon is unfamiliar, rent videos of the original "Star Wars," followed by "The Empire Strikes Back" and "Return of the Jedi." It also wouldn't hurt to read Joseph Campbell's musings on heroes and "The Uses of Enchantment" by Bruno Bettleheim, which analyzes how myths affect young people. "The Phantom Menace" tells how two stolid Jedi knights, Qui-Gon Jinn (Liam Neeson) and Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor), meet nine year-old Anakin and join the Gungan, a scrappy race of amphibioid creatures, to save Naboo, the planet ruled by gutsy Queen Amidala (Natalie Portman). She is destined to marry Anakin and give birth to Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia, but that comes later in Episode II in 2002 and III in 2005. Right now, the excitement lies in the action, particularly a heart-thumping "pod race," reminiscent of the chariot race in "Ben-Hur." Sure, there are flaws: die-hard fans may chafe at the recycled Good vs. Evil plotline and the chatter of one creature, Jar-Jar Binks, is almost unintelligible. Nevertheless, on the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Episode I, The Phantom Menace" comes at you with a thrilling, meteoric 10. Not only is it a fanciful phenomenon but it's also the most eye-popping spectacular special-effects picture ever made as George Lucas integrates the fantasy of computer imagery with reality. The only question is: Will it beat the all-time box-office champ "Titanic"?

Susan Granger's review of "DROP DEAD GORGEOUS" (New Line Cinema)
Don't be surprised if you find yourself wishing the "gorgeous" girls would just drop dead in this heavy-handed mock-documentary. Set in Mount Rose, Minnesota, it purports to examine a small-town beauty pageant. Here in the hallowed American heartland, amidst cow pats and pork sausage, there's an all-out battle being waged for the sparkling tiara. Denise Richards plays a spoiled little rich girl whose primary talent seems to be sucking up to the judges, mouthing banal platitudes, and dedicating her rendition of "Can't Take My Eyes Off You" to Jesus Christ. Kirstie Alley plays her scheming mother, a former winner, who also serves as the pageant's coordinator. The only real competition comes from a sweet, guileless, tap-dancing trailer park girl, Kirsten Dunst, who worships Diane Sawyer and wants to become a television journalist. She's egged on by her chain-smoking, beer-swilling mom, Ellen Barkin, and wonderfully slutty neighbor, Alison Janney. Screenwriter Lona Williams and director Michael Patrick Jann (MTV's "The State") rely on caricatures and revisit too many snide, crude clichés - from the "You betcha" drawl of "Fargo" to the "Spinal Tap" hysteria to the condescending "Waiting for Guffman" buffoonery of "God-fearin' folk." Not that beauty pageants aren't ripe for satire, but "Smile" (1975) did it so much better - and it didn't need to travel to the Eating Disorder wing of the local hospital. Holly Hunter's "The Positively True Adventures of the Alleged Texas Cheerleader-Murdering Mom" set a standard for such things that this doesn't even come close to. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Drop Dead Gorgeous" is a tepid, trivial 5. Too bad Hollywood couldn't have left it alone to develop on its own as a little independent film called "Dairy Queens."

Susan Granger's review of "DICK" (Columbia Pictures)

Who would have thought that two naive teenage girls could make the misadventures Richard Milhous Nixon into a political satire? But that's just what happens when Kirsten Dunst and Michelle Williams, two bubble-brained 15 year-olds, unknowingly cross paths with the Watergate burglars, watching G. Gordon Liddy's plumbers squad during their infamous break-in at Democratic National Headquarters. When Liddy (Harry Shearer) spots the duo the next day on a White House tour, as they accidentally stumble into a paper-shredding project, Tricky Dick (Dan Hedaya) steps in, appointing them as Official Dog Walkers and Youth Advisors. They wind up in the Oval Office, where they discover a tape recorder momentarily left unguarded by Presidential secretary Rose Mary Woods (Ana Gasteyer). What does one of our blithe heroines do with it? What any infatuated teeny-bopper would do: record herself singing an Olivia Newton-John ballad to the Commander-in-Chief. The kind-hearted girls argue foreign policy with Henry Kissinger (Saul Rubinek) and persuade the President to end the Vietnam War by feeding him spiked cookies. Then, of course, they tip off egomaniacal "Washington Post" reporters Bob Woodward (Will Ferrell) and Carl Bernstein (Bruce McCulloch), divulging the CREEP list which they find stuck to Liddy's shoe. Director Andrew Fleming, who co-wrote the script with Sherlyn Longin, cleverly mixes fact and fiction, evoking the giddy blonde bimbo movie tradition, setting it amidst a Presidential scandal, and punctuating it with '70s pop music. While it may resemble several "Saturday Night Live" skits edited together, nevertheless, on the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Dick" is a sly, sweet, screwball 7. It's corny but comical romp through revisionist history.


Susan Granger's review of "MYSTERY MEN" (Universal Pictures)

This feeble spoof tells the saga of seven aspiring superheroes, each possessing a unique - and bizarre - superpower, who band together to save Champion City. The ragtag group consists of Ben Stiller as Mr. Furious, a leather-clad neurotic with a foul temper ("I'm a ticking time bomb of fury!"); Janeane Garofalo as the bitchy Bowler, whose weapon is a clear bowling ball with her father's visible skull inside; Paul Reubens (a.k.a. Pee-wee Herman) as the Spleen, who farts noxious gas; Hank Azaria as the effete Blue Raja whose specialty is throwing silverware ("May the forks be with you!"); Kel Mitchell as Invisible Boy, who can't disappear when people are watching; Wes Studi as the Sphinx, who spews sage-like homilies; and William H. Macy as the Shoveler, whose superweapon is, you guessed it, a spade. The villain is the psychotic Cassanova Frankenstein, played by Geoffrey Rush, who has invented the deadly "Frakulator" beam which fragments and warps everything - from people to buildings - into a weird state that reflects what's going on within Cassanova's maniacal head - like Picasso's cubist renderings. His conspirator is Greg Kinnear, a.k.a. Captain Amazing, Champion City's bona fide arrogant superhero, who is afraid he'll lose his product endorsements if there isn't a villain on the loose. The preposterous derring-do in Neil Cuthbert's deliberately formulaic screenplay, based on the Dark Horse comic book series created by Bob Burden, must have looked better on paper. Utilizing every camera trick, director Kinka Usher exaggerates the obvious, which is not surprising since his background is in television commercials. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Mystery Men" is a muddled 3. It's a superhero sendup that snickers and deflates quickly.


Susan Granger's review of "DETROIT ROCK CITY" (New Line Cinema)

It's 1978, and four Cleveland teens are trying to crash a KISS concert in Detroit to see their idols after their tickets are burned by a religious fanatic parent who swears that the group's name is an acronym for "Knights in Satan's Service" and is a member of M.A.T.M.O.K. (Mothers Against the Music of KISS). Edward Furlong, Giuseppe Andrews, Sam Huntington, and newcomer James De Bello are die-hard KISS fanatics and they're determined to attend the concert - whether it involves winning front-row center seats in a radio contest, spiking a teacher's pizza with hallucinogenic mushrooms, stealing a car, selling their bodies, robbing a convenience store, or sneaking by security. Between these escapades, they smoke dope and stop to beat up a car full of disco fans in some half-witted defense of rock 'n' roll. While the KISS members are prominently listed as part of the cast and Gene Simmons is a producer, they only appear for a couple of minutes on-stage amid pyrotechnics. But Mrs. Gene Simmons - better known as Playboy bunny Shannon Tweed - does drop in as a romantic interest, along with Natasha Lyonne and Melanie Lynskey. (The latter two are named 'Christine' and 'Beth,' which are names of KISS songs.) Carl V. Dupre's screenplay seems to be lifted piecemeal from a myriad of coming-of-age movies and has so many hateful caricatures of Catholicism as to be quite offensive. Vulgar mockery of any religion is not funny. Director Adam Rifkin relishes the tasteless sexism of picturing a cheerleader on a toilet and visiting a male strip club filled with obnoxious women. And do you really want to watch Edward Furlong vomiting? On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Detroit Rock City" is a lame, loud 1 - one of the most feeble pictures of the year so far.

Susan Granger's review of "BROKEDOWN PALACE" (20th Century-Fox)

Jonathan Kaplan's cautionary tale explores the same territory as "Midnight Express" (1978) and "Return to Paradise" (1998), as Americans suspected of drug smuggling wind up in a Third World prison. Claire Danes and Kate Beckinsale stars as Ohio teens who tell their parents they're off to Hawaii when they trek to Bangkok for an 11-day getaway to celebrate their high school graduation. After seeing the usual sights, they sneak into a posh hotel where they pretend to be guests enjoying the swimming pool. But when they invent a room number to sign a bar check, their ruse is discovered. A charming young Australian (Daniel LaPaine) comes to their rescue, paying court to them both. When he invites them to join him in Hong Kong for the weekend, they accept the plane tickets. But when they get to the airport, they're arrested by armed police who find heroin in their luggage. Thai justice moves quickly, so they're convicted and sent to a dark, dank, filthy prison to serve 33-year sentences. No one really cares if the Australian may have planted the drugs in their luggage - they're still guilty of carrying them. And the Thai penal system is riddled with corruption. The girls' only hope is a mercenary expatriate American lawyer, "Yankee Hank" (Bill Pullman). Writers David Arata and Adam Fields and director Jonathan Kaplan weave a cynical tale and elicit strong performances, particularly from Claire Danes. But it's curiously similar to a story printed in "Marie Claire" last year about two young women serving sentences on drug-smuggling charges in a Peruvian prison, even to the detail of having cockroaches crawl into the girls' ears. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Brokedown Palace" is a depressing, disturbing 4. It's a grim reminder about the danger of gullibility.

Susan Granger's review of "UNIVERSAL SOLDIER: THE RETURN" (TriStar)

When critics are banned from a movie in advance of its opening, you know there's a problem - in this case, more than one. Back in 1992, "Universal Soldier" introduced hunky Jean-Claude Van Damme as Luc Deveraux, a Unisol, the recycled corpse of a soldier killed in Vietnam whose military motto is "Dying to Serve." At the story's end, Luc was just beginning to perceive human feelings and comprehend emotions. In this sequel, he's developed into a "normal" human being - a bit stronger with bigger muscles and certainly a better fighter. Now, Luc's a widower with a pre-teen daughter (Karis Paige Bryant). He serves as a technical expert on a new government project preparing a stronger breed of soldier that is more sophisticated, agile, and intelligent. All goes well until the soldiers' supercomputer, in the human form of Michael Jai White, develops a maniacal mind of its own. Then it's the Self-Evolving Thought Helix (acronym SETH) against Luc, whose only allies are Heidi Schanz, a tough-as-nails TV reporter, and Kiana Tom (ESPN fitness guru) as his training buddy. So what happens when the Muscles from Brussels faces off against an entire army of Unisols programmed to kill, kill, kill? Guess. Pow! Bam! Jab! Zap! Some of the plot absurdities include a pit stop at a sleazy strip club, the only place where they can find an Internet connection to access a secret code. Directed by Mic Rodgers, a former stunt coordinator, Jean-Claude's acting technique has not improved noticeably, nor has his enunciation. At one point, he cautions his cohorts not to "peas damoff" - which translates to "piss them off," but it takes a few moments to comprehend. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Universal Soldier: The Return" is a action-packed, homicidal 3 - aimed at diehard kickboxing fans.

Susan Granger's review of "SEA PEOPLE" (Showtime TV Family Movie)
On Sunday night, June 20th, at 9 P.M., Showtime presents this enchanting, original, made-for-TV movie, starring Fairfield's own Hume Cronyn as a spry, old codger who's not what he appears to be. 14 year-old Amanda (Tegan Moss) is a bit of a loner who lives with her family in a small coastal town in Nova Scotia. She trains as a long-distance swimmer and dreams of swimming the English Channel, like her heroine Gertrude Ederle. When the town's main source of employment, the local cannery, closes, her father has to seek work in a town a hundred miles away. Feeling abandoned and hurt, she suddenly witnesses an elderly man (Cronyn) jumping off an inlet bridge. Attempting to save him, she dives into the bitterly cold water, only to be gruffly brushed off by the wiry man who calmly and quite competently swims to shore. Introducing himself as John MacRae, he takes the thoroughly chilled Amanda to his home to warm up and meet his wife (Joan Gregson). After visiting with the couple, Amanda becomes convinced that they are not human. They drink seaweed tea, eat algae, and sleep in giant tanks filled with icy salt water. They even refer to her and her family as "land people." Could they possibly be related to the mermaids she's heard about in stories? She even quizzes a school friend (Shawn Roberts) whose grandfather was supposedly rescued by a mermaid. As their friendship deepens, the MacRaes reveal their mysterious and magical relationship to the sea. And when John becomes ill, Amanda embarks on a quest of desperate ingenuity to save him. This is an unusually charming fable, a real winner that I highly recommend for family viewing. It will be repeated on 6/29 at 7:15 P.M., 7/3 at 4:45 P.M., 7/9 at 8 A.M. & 6:15 P.M., 7/19 at 6:15 P.M. and 7/25 at 4:35 P.M.

Susan Granger's review of "ROCKY MARCIANO" on SHOWTIME TV
On Saturday, May 15, the 8 P.M.debut of a new "Rocky Marciano" movie is part of a boxing theme night which will include the classic films "Rocky" and "Raging Bull," plus a live boxing match. Jon Favreau stars as Rocky, the only world heavyweight boxing champion to retire undefeated in the history of the sport. Set in the summer of 1969, a few days before his 46th birthday, the story begins with the fighter on a promotional tour, demanding cash, not checks, for each personal appearance, and phoning home to his wife (Penelope Ann Miller). It then flashes back to his childhood in the blue-collar town of Brockton, Mass., where, as Rocco Marchegiano, he learned the value of saving money from his immigrant father (George C. Scott) who worked in a shoe factory. Vowing never to make shoes, young Rocky, as he was called, realized the incredible power he packed in his right arm. A devoted fan of Joe Louis (Duane Davis), he decided to become a boxer but, without formal training, he lost many fights before he finally won a big one - after he turned pro. Boxing was his ticket out of Brockton when his raw talent was recognized by two corrupt "managers" (Judd Hirsch, Tony Lo Bianco). Rocky never lost a professional fight. He quit the ring in 1956 and, unlike many boxing greats, he stayed retired. So, without a comeback to dramatize, the film highlights two pivotal fights: one in which he seriously injured an opponent and his match against Joe Louis. Actor Jon Favreau tries hard to capture the underdog appeal of this not-very-colorful icon and the supporting cast is superb. So, on the Granger Made-for-TV Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Rocky Marciano" punches a creditable 6, but it doesn't pack a wallop.

Susan Granger's review of "Safe House" on Showtime TV (premiere on 1/24/99)

Quite often, particularly this time of year, the best new "movies" are those made-for-TV, and this character-driven action-adventure is one of them. Patrick Stewart (Jean Luc-Picard of "Star Trek: The Next Generation") plays Mace, a retired government official, suffering from Alzheimer's disease, who believes a retired Admiral, now a Presidential candidate, is trying to kill him because he's the last remaining member of an elite, "dirty tricks, hit squad" of the Pentagon. As a result of his suspicions, Mace has become a paranoid recluse living in an impenetrable home in Los Angeles. To protect himself, he's surrounded by the ultimate in state-of-the-art weaponry and hi-tech surveillance equipment. And to keep himself mentally and physically alert, he deliberately stages terrifying "drills" with his poolman. Realizing that the keen mind of this once-elegant and refined gentleman is deteriorating, his daughter hires a perpetually perky, professional in-home caregiver (Kimberly Williams) to look after her father and insists that he regularly visit a psychiatrist (Hector Elizondo) who specializes in gerontology. Initially resentful of the young woman, Mace slowly warms to her but, when he mistakenly shoots at a neighbor's car, he realizes that he's soon going to be "put away" in a locked-care facility. In a race against time, Mace thinks he's prepared for what happens next...but is he? Writer/director Eric Steven Stahl has concocted a highly imaginative, edge-of-your-seat thriller. On the Granger Made-for-TV Movie Gauge, "Safe House" is a suspenseful 7. Don't miss the premiere on Sunday night, January 24, at 8 PM on Showtime TV.

"12 ANGRY MEN"

(Showtime- Aug. 17 premiere)

review by Susan Granger

The most compelling drama you're likely to see this weekend will be the premiere of a new version of "12 Angry Men" at 9 PM on Sunday on Showtime Television. This tense, powerful courtroom drama features a stellar cast including Jack Lemmon, Courtney B. Vance, George C. Scott, Ossie Davis, Mykelti Williamson, Tony Danza, Armin Mueller-Stahl and Hume Cronyn. Based on Reginald Rose's 1957 screenplay, updated to 1997 with a racially-mixed cast, the story revolves around 12 men on a jury who have been charged by the judge to deliver a verdict on what appears to be an open-and-shut, first-degree murder case involving a New York City youth whom eye-witnesses have fingered for killing his father. But one soft-spoken juror believes the young Latino might be innocent of the crime and his "reasonable doubt" prevents him from declaring "guilty as charged." Thus begins an exhilarating war of words and actions that will not only reveal each juror for the man he is but will determine the fate of the accused. Director William Friedkin keeps the tension taut in the hot, sweltering jury room where the air-conditioning doesn't function - and kudos to him for not giving in to "political correctness" and turning it into "12 Angry People," which would have changed the tone of the testosterone-driven concept. This classic American drama, which ranks up there with "Death of a Salesman" and "Streetcar Named Desire," has been done many times but never better than this. And it speaks to the sad state of big-budget feature films and network programming that only cable television is willing to risk this kind of intimate, character-driven material.

"STARGATE"

(Showtime TV)

review by Susan Granger

Sci-fi fans alert: if you were blown away by the ancient and alien magic of "Stargate" (1994), tune in Showtime TV on Friday nights for the new, original "Stargate SG-1," which takes up where the Roland Emmerich/Dean Devlin movie ended, following the exploits of a military team that travels to other worlds instantaneously through a mysterious portal known as a stargate. Think of space travel and combat integrated with intellectual detective work, or "The Outer Limits" combined with "Sliders." As the expedition leader, Richard Dean Anderson ("MacGuyver") is no Kurt Russell but he makes up in competence and an acerbic comic cynicism what he lacks in charisma. Nor is Michael Shanks any James Spader, as the eccentric Egyptologist, but he's joined by Amanda Topping, as a no-nonsense astrophysicist. There will be 44 of these supernatural action/adventures initially in this expensive new series with each episode running about $1.3 million and filmed in Vancouver. Some of the snake-headed aliens are quite grotesque and, since Showtime has wisely slotted this new series at 10 PM, there is occasional nudity and some horror elements, definitely not aimed at a juvenile audience.

Susan Granger's review of "THE WOOD" (Paramount Pictures)
"The Wood" refers to Inglewood, California, where three friends reminisce about their 13-year friendship on the day when one is about to get married. The story opens as Omar Epps explains, directly into the camera, that his pal, the groom, has turned up missing. Epps and Richard T. Jones are sent to find Taye Diggs, who is drunk at the home of an old girl-friend, overcome with pre-nuptial jitters. As the boyz drive around, trying to sober up Diggs so he can take his wedding vows, they pass various locales around the 'Wood and recall memories from their shared adolescence. That's the simple, somewhat contrived plot and the three actors deliver solid performances. First-time writer-director 25 year-old Rick Famuyiwa evokes a remarkably fresh pop '80s nostalgia, complete with a spinning vinyl record and finger-snapping music. Until now, most African-American films have fallen into one of four categories: "booty" pictures, violent "hood" chronicles, female-oriented comedy/dramas, or serious ghetto stories, aimed at an older audience. This movie is different in that it delves into the honest camaraderie, as well as the various comic aspects of puberty, and its appeal should extend beyond the boundaries of the African-American community. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "The Wood" is an amusing, appealing 5. In a summer of coming-of-age films, comparisons are inevitable but - while much of the narrative involves a trio of young guys trying to get laid - "The Wood" has little of the gross, vulgar humor of "American Pie." Instead, it opts for good-natured charm, poignancy and sentimentality.


Susan Granger's review of "EYES WIDE SHUT" (Warner Bros.)
Do you remember the fable: "The Emperor's New Clothes"? Because this film was made by the late Stanley Kubrick, because two of Hollywood's top stars devoted two years of their lives to its creation, because the "hype" has been so carefully orchestrated...few have dared to call this exquisitely photographed film what it is: shallow soft-core pornography. Despite Kubrick's meticulous direction, it's a wretchedly written, cliché-filled dirge about sexual obsession, based on Arthur Schnitzler's "Traumnovelle" (1926). The slow-paced story begins with Tom Cruise, as a Manhattan physician, and his wife, played by Nicole Kidman, preparing to attend a lavish Christmas party, hosted by Sydney Pollack. That evening, as she flirts with a suave Hungarian, he's hit on by two giggly models - until he's called upstairs by the host to revive yet another model who has overdosed. Later, while stoned, Kidman taunts Cruise with an erotic tale about a naval officer in Cape Cod. Reeling with jealousy, he indulges in his own angst-filled fantasy, involving a kinky tryst with a hooker and a sinister, masquerade orgy. And he flashes his doctor's ID card more often than an FBI agent. Why Kidman and Cruise chose to indulge in this heavy-handed, exhibitionistic carnal endeavor is best left to their personal therapists - and the gossip columnists. Sure, the color-drenched cinematography is stunning but, having said that, it's like leaving a Broadway musical singing the scenery. In evaluating Jocelyn Pook's moody score, a friend put it best commenting: "The music sounds as if were composed by a piano tuner, pounding on one note." On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Eyes Wide Shut" is a perverted, pretentious, numbing 3. It may be deliberately depraved but you won't be deprived if you wait for the video.


Susan Granger's review of "RUNAWAY BRIDE" (Paramount Pictures)
Ever since "Pretty Woman," Julia Roberts, Richard Gere, and director Garry Marshall have been looking for another project, and this screwball romantic fantasy seems to fit the bill. No, it's not a sequel. It's an entirely different story. Roberts plays Maggie, a small-town charmer who has left three grooms at the altar - a fact that is exaggerated in USA TODAY by a cynical New York columnist, Ike Graham (think Jimmy Breslin) - that's Gere - who bitterly dubs her a "man-eater." She complains to his editor (Rita Wilson), who is also his ex-wife, citing just cause for a defamation lawsuit. He promptly gets fired for exploitive journalism. Determined to vindicate himself and uncover the "real story" for GQ magazine, Ike shows up in bucolic Hale, Maryland, just as Maggie is preparing to marry groom #4, the high-school physical education teacher/coach. "Shazam! It's Mayberry," he mutters just before the barbershop quartet starts. Ike's acerbic; Maggie's defensive. They spar and spat with incredible finesse. But will she bolt once more? No one knows, even her widower father (Paul Dooley) who notes, "Maggie may not be Hale's longest running joke, but she's certainly the fastest." Eventually, Maggie realizes "there's a distinct possibility that I'm profoundly, irreversibly screwed-up." The screenplay by Josann McGibbon, Sara Parriott, and Audrey Wells leaves little doubt in your mind about the outcome but it's deliciously amusing getting there. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Runaway Bride" is a glowing, breezy 8. It's not as quirky and witty as "Notting Hill," Roberts' most recent romantic comedy, and not in the same league as "Pretty Woman." But Gere's glossy and gorgeous, and it's flirty, feel-good fun from beginning to end - a date movie or chick's flick.

Susan Granger's review of "OUTSIDE PROVIDENCE" (Miramax Films)

Don't expect another "There's Something About Mary," just because this contemporary comedy is made by Peter and Bobby Farrelly. Instead of gross silliness, there's gloppy sentiment, as Shawn Hatosy portrays a pot-smoking slacker teen, circa 1974, in the blue-collar town of Pawtucket, Rhode Island. After a fender-bender with a parked police car, he's packed off to a fancy Connecticut prep school, Cornwall Academy, where he's outnumbered, outclassed, and definitely out of place. But he gets little sympathy from his beer-guzzling, loud-mouthed, deadbeat dad (Alec Baldwin) whose idea of affection is to nickname the boy "Dildo." "It ain't easy being Ozzie when you ain't got a Harriet," dad explains. Predictably - and somewhat unimaginatively - Hatosy not only ends up with the prettiest girl around (Amy Smart), protects his wheelchair-bound younger brother (Tommy Bone), and takes revenge on a repressive dean. Directed and co-written by Michael Corrente ("American Buffalo"), there are quirky touches like a three-legged dog and some crude slapstick antics, but there's nothing to make your hair stand on end about this prosaic coming-of-age story set. Not surprising since the script was recycled from long before the Farrelly brothers had hits like "Dumb and Dumber." And the edgy comedy "Rushmore," released early this year, covered the same territory far better. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Outside Providence" is a flimsy 5. It's bittersweet nostalgia - wait the video.


Susan Granger's review of "THE CHILL FACTOR" (Warner Brothers)

In this wannabe action-thriller, the mid-August tranquillity of a tiny tropical atoll in the South Pacific is shattered when a covert scientific military research operation, code name "Elvis," goes terribly wrong. As a result, only the scientist who invented the formula and a disgraced Army officer remain alive. Skip ahead ten years to a hot summer day in the tiny town of Jerome, Montana, where two young men - Cuba Gooding Jr. (Oscar winner for "Jerry Maguire") and Skeet Ulrich - are in the wrong place at the wrong time. When the guilt-stricken scientist (David Paymer) is murdered by the villainous Major (Peter Firth), these two hapless guys must transport the toxic and potentially combustible chemical weapon and safely deliver it to Fort Magruder, 90 miles away. Only, they have to keep it frozen, and the only refrigerated vehicle available is Gooding's ice-cream truck. Of course, the Major's tactical team is in hot pursuit of "Elvis on ice." Kind of reminds you of the concept "Speed," doesn't it? Plus a French thriller called "Wages of Fear" with much the same plotline. The profanity-laden screenplay by Drew Gitlin and Mike Cheda is dumb and derivative, and novice Hugh Johnson's directing is by-the-numbers, relying on violent hand-to-hand combat, macho gunplay, and loud explosions. And how is it that everyone seems to know everyone else's cell-phone number when I can't even remember my own? On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "The Chill Factor" is a numbingly stupid 3. It's toxic, all right.


Susan Granger's review of "THE ASTRONAUT'S WIFE" (New Line Cinema)

Writer/director Rand Ravich came up with an intriguing premise for this sci-fi tale: What would happen if an astronaut was, somehow, changed after he returned from a supposedly routine space journey? Who would know? Good idea, right? So, Johnny Depp - newly blond with a Southern drawl - plays a NASA shuttle pilot, one of two crew members who are nearly killed when a satellite explodes and ground control mysteriously loses contact with them for two minutes. His companion (Nick Cassavetes) flips out soon after their return to Earth. But Depp doesn't. Instead, he announces his decision to quit the space program and impregnates his beautiful wife, played by Charlize Theron ("Mighty Joe Young," "The Devil's Advocate"), with twins. But then strange things begin to happen. First, Cassavetes dies from "a severe insult to the brain" (i.e.: a stroke). Then Theron's confidante, played by Donna Murphy, is electrocuted. Nevertheless, the now-former astronaut and his now-fearful wife leave Florida and move to New York, where she's befriended by the wife (Blair Brown) of her husband's new corporate boss (Tom Noonan) in the aerospace industry. Are there any surprises? Only when British actress Samantha Eggar turns up as an obstetrician with a thick German accent. Otherwise you can probably guess what happens. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "The Astronaut's Wife" is a fumbling, formulaic 4. Think of a sluggish "Rosemary's Baby" with an extra-terrestrial twist.


Susan Granger's review of "The 13th Warrior" (Touchstone Pictures)

For more than two years, this cliché-ridden action adventure has gathered dust on the shelf at Disney's Buena Vista Pictures. No one knew quite when to release it or how to market its blood 'n' guts content to the public. Antonio Banderas ("The Mask of Zorro") plays Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan, an urbane Muslim poet-diplomat banished from his Egyptian homeland during the 10th century, along with elderly Omar Sharif, who acts as his translator. Fleeing from Baghdad in a caravan after Banderas has indulged in a foolish sexual liaison, they join up with some growling, swaggering, blond Nordic warriors with names like Helfdane the Large (Clive Russell), Skeld the Superstitious (Richard Bremmer), and Herger the Joyous (Dennis Storhoi), among others. They're led by Buliwyf (Vladimir Kulich) on a quest to liberate a kingdom across the sea from a mysterious, marauding tribe of bear-like savages who have been terrorizing everyone - at least when it gets foggy. (They filmed it in British Columbia where the mists obviously rise on cue.) Based on Michael Crichton's 1976 novel, "Eaters of the Dead," it combines rowdy, swashbuckling brutality with a hint of the supernatural as they pursue the ferocious "terror that must not be named." Director John McTiernan did this long before "The Hunt for Red October" and he would be wise to leave it off his resume. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "The 13th Warrior" is a ridiculously bloodthirsty 3, proving grisly gore has no limits.


Susan Granger's review of "A DOG OF FLANDERS" (Warner Bros.)

Set in the early 19th century in the Dutch-speaking region of Belgium known as Flanders, this tale revolves - not around a dog - but a boy. Little Nello (Jesse James/Jeremy James) is an poor orphan who grows up in the care of his kindly grandfather (Jack Warden). Since his mother was an artist and left him her sketchbook, Nello loves to draw. A chance meeting with a noted local artist (Jon Voight) introduces the great Flemish painter, Peter Paul Rubens, as a focus for Nello's dreams. So where does the dog come in? By the side of the road, Nello finds a large Bouvier des Flanders who was cruelly abused by a peddler and befriends him, naming him Patrasche. Big, black, fluffy Patrasche trots around as Nello's loyal companion, but the pet is limited to the periphery of the action. Writer/director Kevin Brodie, working with Robert Singer, adapting the novel by Ouida (a.k.a. Marie Louise de la Ramee), comes up with trite dialogue punctuating a contrived yet predictable story. Those familiar with the book will note that the ending has been changed to one much happier. Brought up on a diet of fast-paced television, children will undoubtedly be bored, squirming in their seats along with their parents. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "A Dog of Flanders" is a slow-paced, dreary 3. "Real happiness comes not with possessions or positions but with people" and "Never underestimate the power of love" are worthwhile sentiments but they're presented in the dullest framework possible.

Susan Granger's review of "THREE KINGS" (Warner Brothers)
'Remember "Catch 22" and "M*A*S*H*" - those black comedies that captured the surrealist insanity of W.W.II and the Korean War? That's what David O. Russell attempts in this astute blend of action/adventure, drama, humor, and scathing political commentary. George Clooney stars as a cynical career soldier - an American Special Forces Captain - who's ready to retire. In March of 1991, he and his cohorts (Mark Wahlberg, Ice Cube, Spike Jonze) are ready to return home from the Gulf War when they unexpectedly come into possession of a map that indicates the location of a stash of Kuwaiti gold bullion stolen by the Iraqi army. "Saddam stole it from the sheiks," Clooney says, "and I have no problem stealing it from Saddam." They take off at dawn, planning to return by noon. But it's not that easy, particularly with a feisty war correspondent (Nora Dunn) snooping around. There's chaos, confusion, and carnage - but don't expect any stupendous battle scenes. Encounters with the "enemy" are primarily skirmishes as Iraqi rebels, encouraged by George Bush's exhortations to overthrow Saddam Hussein, courageously fight the brutal Republican Guard, only to discover that the politically expedient cease-fire has made the Americans unwilling to offer humanitarian aid to the civilians caught in the turmoil. "We're fighting Saddam and dying - and you're stealing gold," one angry rebel astutely observes, igniting a moral dilemma for the greedy treasure-hunters who are cornered into doing the right thing. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Three Kings" is a suspenseful 8, raising serious questions about the morality of the United States position on military intervention and putting a human face on the atrocities of war.

Susan Granger's review of "BLUE STREAK" (Columbia Pictures)

Martin Lawrence reminds me of Jerry Lewis with his silly antics in this action comedy and of Eddie Murphy with his fast-talking glibness. Lawrence plays a jewel thief who, after spending two years in prison, discovers that the under-construction building in whose air duct he stashed a $20 million diamond is now the 37th L.A. Police Precinct. Undaunted by this ironic stroke of bad luck - and unable to infiltrate the crime unit disguised as a buck-toothed pizza delivery man - the ex-con concocts an outrageous plan to impersonate a cop so that he can gain entrance, locate and retrieve the gem in a matter of hours. But, as fate and the screenwriters would have it, he inadvertently captures an escaping convict (Dave Chappelle). Everything that could go wrong does go wrong, and so it goes... Director Les Mayfield ("Encino Man") attempts to keep the pace fast but, despite lots of shtick, the necessary energy just isn't there. He also relies heavily on Martin Lawrence to carry the vehicle as an action hero which is a mistake. There's lots of action - sound and fury - but it signifies very little. Now, if you're a real Martin Lawrence fan, devoted to his raw, edgy stand-up comedy, and sympathetic after his recent collapse while jogging, I don't want to discourage you. It's just that the plot is predictable and has too many holes in it to suspend disbelief - besides, you're in on the joke from the beginning. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Blue Streak" is a manic, formulaic 4. I'd advise you to go to a bargain matinee or wait for the video.

Susan Granger's review of "BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS" (Buena Vista Pictures)
Writer/director Alan Rudolph has attempted to make a deep, dark comedy out of Kurt Vonnegut's satiric '70s fable - and has failed to such an extent that it's an embarrassment for all concerned. Bruce Willis plays a suicidal car dealer, Dwayne Hoover, a minor celebrity in Midland City since his commercials seem to play non-stop on local television. His pill-popping wife (Barbara Hershey) is clinically depressed, and his gay son (Lukas Haas) is an aspiring lounge singer. Is that why Dwayne thinks he's losing his mind? We're not really sure. Meanwhile, his devoted secretary (Glenne Headley) doubles as his hot-to-trot mistress and his sales manager (Nick Nolte) is a troubled transvestite. (Nick's legs do look sensational in sheer black stockings!) Plus there's a pollution scandal. In the midst of this muddled mess, the town decides to honor a mumbling, misunderstood pulpy science-fiction writer named Kilgore Trout (Albert Finney) at its first arts festival. "Midland City is ready for a renaissance, and you shall be our Leonardo," gushes his sponsor. Predictably, when Dwayne Hoover meets Kilgore Trout (Kurt Vonnegut's alter ego), he discovers the meaning of life and achieves some kind of bewildering redemption. Appropriately, the '50s ballad "Stranger in Paradise" is an integral part of the soundtrack, repeatedly underscoring the bizarre caricatures and surreal situation. Like Terry Gilliam's adaptation of Hunter Thompson's "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas," Alan Rudolph's attempt to dramatize Vonnegut's zany '60s protest fantasy seems distorted and woefully out of date. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Breakfast of Champions" is a crude, crass, incoherent 2. Flaky, tasteless breakfasts like this could lead to indigestion!


Susan Granger's review of "MUMFORD" (Touchstone Pictures)
What does it take to be a good psychologist? How can you get people to confide their fantasies, dreams, and frustrations in order to alleviate the pain of the human condition? Writer/director Lawrence Kasdan believes that listening, really listening is the most important skill - and that's the premise for his intelligent, amusing new comedy. Loren Dean ("Billy Bathgate") stars as Dr. Mumford, a young psychologist who opens a practice in a small, picturesque town, coincidentally named Mumford, and discovers his unorthodox form of therapy has amazing, unexpected results with an odd assortment of quirky locals. There's a young divorcee suffering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (Hope Davis), a pulp-fiction obsessed pharmacist (Pruitt Taylor Vince), a frustrated housewife (Mary McDonnell) who's become addicted to mail-order shopping, her workaholic husband (Ted Danson), a fashion-preoccupied teen (Zooey Deschanel), Mumford's outspoken landlady (Alfre Woodard) who runs the local cafe, and a lonely billionaire (Jason Lee), the monarch of modems, who zips around on a skateboard. While they respond to his empathy and frankness, no one realizes that mysterious, unconventional Dr. Mumford has the biggest secret of all - except maybe a suspicious attorney (Martin Short) and the two other therapists in town (David Paymer, Jane Adams). Like "The Big Chill," "The Accidental Tourist," and "Grand Canyon," this is an excellent ensemble effort, which is a credit to Kasden's talent for casting. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Mumford" is a fantastical, intriguing 8, proving that love comes in many disguises.

Susan Granger's review of "GUINEVERE' (Miramax Films)

What do you do when you're 20 years old, the youngest in a wealthy San Francisco family of over-achieving attorneys, and you've just been accepted at Harvard Law School? If you're awkward, insecure and confused like Harper Stone, played by Sarah Polley ("The Sweet Hereafter"), you run off with a passionate photographer more than twice your age. Especially if he's a carefree, charming, ruggedly attractive Irish bohemian like Stephen Rea ("The Crying Game"). But Harper's not the first naive young girl he's seduced. No, there are a bevy of "Guineveres," as he dubs them. But this is not the usual May-September romance in which the worldly guy boosts his sagging ego by recapturing his youth with an inexperienced girl - despite what Harper's urbane mother (Jean Smart) says in a scathing, devastating, accusatory encounter. Instead, it offers a sensitive insight into what the nubile girl gets out of such a rite-of-passage relationship - things like self-confidence, knowledge, and experience, even if the mentor's an alcoholic. Writer Audrey Wells ("The Truth about Cats and Dogs") makes her directing debut with this $2.6 million independent feature that juxtaposes the formal elegance of snobbish Pacific Heights with the impoverished yet exuberant existence of the grungy inner city with its scruffy intellectual and artistic community. While it's hard to take an aspiring photographer-who-never-takes-a-picture seriously, the conclusion, which contrives to reunite the Guineveres, seems too fanciful and out of context. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Guinevere" is a fresh, vibrant and engaging 8, commanding attention from start to finish.

Susan Granger's review of A STIR OF ECHOES (Artisan Entertainment)

If you enjoyed "The Sixth Sense," you're gonna want to see this supernatural thriller starring Kevin Bacon as a Chicago telephone lineman who discovers horror lurking under his own roof after he's hypnotized by his sister-in-law (Illeana Douglas) at a neighborhood party. At first, Bacon's skeptical. He doesn't believe in mental games, nor in ghosts. But when he hears his five year-old son (Zachary David Cope) casually say, "Does it hurt to be dead?" to an unseen apparition, he knows something's wrong. Then he "sees" a deathly pale, terrified teenage girl who "disappeared" months earlier; she's a vision, not real, but how did this tortured soul get on his living-room sofa? And who will believe him? Certainly not his just-pregnant wife (Kathryn Erbe), who finds his bizarre behavior and obsession with spooky, otherworldly things quite disturbing. Not even his defensive sister-in-law, who insists she only planted an innocent post-hypnotic suggestion into his subconscious. Based on a 1958 novel by Richard Matheson ("Somewhere in Time," "What Dreams May Come"), screenwriter/director David Koepp cleverly builds the suspense slowly, through character development not carnage, keeping the action low-key and quite plausible. But many clues are revealed too early, and it's quite reminiscent of Bacon's earlier film, "Flatliners," along with "The Amityville Horror," even "The Shining." On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "A Stir of Echoes" is a creepy 7. It's an eerie, intriguing early Fall chiller.


Susan Granger's review of "BOWFINGER" (Universal Pictures)

Are you in the mood to laugh? 'Cause you gotta be when you see this spoof of the movie industry in which Steve Martin plays Robert "Bobby" Bowfinger, a down-and-out director who's crazy about a script, "Chubby Rain," about tiny aliens who ride raindrops down to Earth. Problem is: the only way to get the movie made is to get a bankable A-list star - which he cannot afford. Illustrating his frustration, there's a hilarious scene in which Robert Downey Jr. is a prominent producer, "a player," whom he spots at a restaurant. So Bowfinger decides to stalk TinselTown's hottest actor, Kit Ramsey - that's Eddie Murphy, and surreptitiously capture him on celluloid, editing the surreptitious footage into his low-budget ($2,814) movie. The angry, already paranoid Ramsey goes nuts when he finds himself interacting with Christine Baranski and other actors from "Rain" who accost him, reciting their lines. Seeking tranquillity, Ramsey retreats to a posh haven called MindHead, run by manipulative Terence Stamp. Is this a riff on certain stars' devotion to Scientology? When he was writing the screenplay, Steve Martin originally envisioned a wimpy, spiritual actor, "a Keanu Reeves type," but adapted him into a black action star with Murphy's help. Directed by Frank Oz, Martin's elegant goofiness blends with Murphy's hip cynicism and the result is a deliriously outrageous combination. Plus, Murphy plays another role as his nerdy stunt double/errandboy. And, if you think Heather Graham's ambitious ingenue-who-runs-off-with-a-lesbian role resembles Anne Heche, you're not alone. Martin dated Heche for several years before she jilted him for Ellen DeGeneres. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Bowfinger" is an amusing, inventive, entertaining 8. It's a funny, funny satire that skewers Hollywood.

Susan Granger's review of "THE SIXTH SENSE" (Touchstone Pictures)

It's very important that you be in your seat for the beginning of this psychological thriller and stay all the way through to the end to comprehend the nuances of the twisting plot. Bruce Willis plays a renown child psychologist who is emotionally torn between spending time with his lovely wife (Olivia Williams) and helping desperately needy eight year-old named Cole (Haley Joel Osment), who is haunted by dark visions that terrify him. He sees dead people, restless spirits. These eerie ghosts appear everywhere - at home, at school, on the street - and they reach out, trying to communicate. Often they actually wound him. Cole lives with his stressed-out single mother (Toni Collette), who is empathetic, but he is terrified to tell her his secret, to reveal his unexplainable paranormal powers. Then Willis comes on the scene. Slowly, the young boy opens up to him. A trust develops, as the psychologist wrestles with how the fragile child can cope with the harrowing, unresolved problems that surround him. Philadelphia-based, 28 year-old writer/director M. Night Shyamalan ("Wide Awake") and cinematographer Tak Fujimoto ("The Silence of the Lambs") create an intriguing, elliptical visual style, building a melancholy aura of suspense and creating a tense, slowly building menace. Combining his spiritual and mystical Indian roots with his American upbringing, Shyamalan achieves a subdued, provocative balance between what's real and what's imagined. Bruce Willis drives the story with a strong, poignant performance but it's Haley Joel Osment whose talent is an amazement. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "The Sixth Sense" is an ominous, unsettling, subtle 9. Only after the film's chilling conclusion will you be able to fit the pieces of this ingenious supernatural puzzle together.


Susan Granger's review of "TEACHING MRS. TINGLE" (Dimension/Miramax Films)

Filmed under the title "Killing Mrs. Tingle," this demented teen comedy is about high-school students who kidnap and torture their nasty history teacher. But, after shooting incident at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado, in April, the title was quickly changed. Kevin Williamson wrote the screenplay before "Scream" and long before TV's "Dawson's Creek," but he couldn't sell it until he became famous. Now he's using it to make his directing debut. The plot revolves around a bitchy, sarcastic, sadistic schoolmarm (flamboyant Helen Mirren) who terrifies everyone, even the principal (Michael McKean) - whom she pointedly rebukes for his alcoholism problem. Her students' anger boils over when Mrs. Tingle unfairly thwarts a college scholarship for her most ambitious, over-achieving student (Katie Holmes) by accusing the girl of stealing a copy of the final history exam. The theft was actually arranged by another student (Marisa Coughlan) and her boy-friend (Barry Watson). When the trio go to the teacher's house in hopes of clarifying the situation, they're mocked by terrible Mrs. Tingle (think of Margaret Hamilton as the cruel, cackling Wicked Witch in "The Wizard of Oz") and the confrontation gets out of hand. Mrs. Tingle winds up tied to the headboard of her Victorian bed as the enraged students make macabre mayhem. Will they kill her or won't they? Obviously not - since this is a PG-13 movie - and clever Mrs. Tingle can outwit the dumb, childish clods with mind games even when she's in bondage, but that's still no excuse for plodding caricatures rather than sympathetic characters. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Teaching Mrs. Tingle" is a tedious, tawdry 1. There's simply nothing amusing about this mean-spirited glorification of violent revenge.


Susan Granger's review of "THE MUSE" (USA Films release of an October Films movie)

Sharon Stone is an irresistible comedienne in Albert Brooks' slightly surreal send-up of the motion picture business. Taking a whiny cue from Woody Allen, Brooks plays a skewed version of himself - a neurotic middle-aged screenwriter, comparing his job with "a eunuch at an orgy - except that the eunuch can, at least, watch, while the screenwriter is not even allowed on the set." When he receives a Humanitarian Award, he facetiously describes a "humanitarian" to his daughter as "someone who has never won an Oscar." But when he's fired by a weaselly studio exec who claims he's "lost his edge," even his agent agrees. Desperate to save his career, he consults his successful buddy (Jeff Bridges) who admits he owes everything to a Muse - that's Sharon Stone. As a daughter of Zeus, she gets people in touch with their creativity. But she's a pampered muse - demanding a suite at the Four Seasons Hotel ($10,000 a week), limo, and dutiful attendance to her desires. Frantically, Brooks tries to satisfy her capricious whims - as does his wife, earnestly played by Andie MacDowell, whom the Muse encourages to pursue her cookie dream of being the next Mrs. Fields. And it's funny as Martin Scorese, James Cameron, Rob Reiner, and Wolfgang Puck pay Tiffany tributes to the divine diva. Albert Brooks ("Mother," "Defending Your Life," "Lost in America") is an acute and adept observer of the nutty, ruthless Hollywood scene, skewering its self-absorption and gullibility, but his ironic concept fizzles out as he misses some screwball opportunities with the Muse's legendary use of the magical power of sex - and his riff on Steven Spielberg falls flat. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "The Muse" is a droll, satiric 7. It's wryly amusing, pointing out that people are who you think they are.

Susan Granger's review of "MICKEY BLUE EYES" (Warner Bros.)

Just imagine you're a suave, proper British auctioneer who's madly in love with an exuberant New York schoolteacher you've known for only three months, so in love, in fact, that you propose marriage - only to have her burst into tears and run away. That's what happens to Hugh Grant at the beginning of the story. Jeanne Tripplehorn refuses to marry him because she's worried about what will happen if he joins her dysfunctional Mafia family. Undaunted, he goes to Little Italy to find her father - that's James Caan - at his restaurant, "The La Trattoria," where the song "We Are Family" plays in the background as he meets the wiseguys. Sure enough, before the bumbling Brit knows it, his auction gallery is being used for mob money laundering and the FBI is paying a visit. The scene where the gregarious Caan tries to teach the refined Grant the goombah enunciation of "fuhgeddaboutit" is a gem. One complication leads to another and soon he becomes known as "Mickey Blue Eyes" by all the wrong people. Screenwriters Adam Scheinman and Robert Kuh and director Kelly Makin deliver the humorous, if cliché-ridden set-ups, but what makes the frenzied farce work is Hugh Grant, who seems to have inherited Cary Grant's ability to maintain an unflappable charm and graceful dignity no matter how humiliating the circumstances. Whether he's a boyish "Notting Hill" book seller who falls for a movie star or a proper, innocent Englishman who behaves with aplomb when finds himself with a bloody corpse, Grant handles his fish-out-of-water roles with witty, sophisticated charm, adept at both verbal sparring and physical antics. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Mickey Blue Eyes" is a funny, funny 8. This engaging romantic comedy is perfectly timed for late summer laughs.

Susan Granger's review of "THE APARTMENT COMPLEX" (SHOWTIME TV)
On Sunday, October 31, at 8 PM on Showtime TV, horror maestro Tobe Hooper presents a quirky, psychological mystery, "The Apartment Complex," starring Chad Lowe as a young grad student who has just moved from the Midwest to study psychology at UCLA. Broke and living out of his car, he's hired by Jon Polito, as the malevolent Dr. Caligari, to manage the Wonder View Apartments in Hollywood in exchange for rent, despite warnings from Obba Babatunde, playing a homeless philosopher who lurks on the front curb. Inspired more by Stephen King than Frank Lloyd Wright, there's something very strange about the Wonder View Apartments. Certainly the tenants are an oddball assortment of neurotics and psychotics, ideal specimens for a master thesis on abnormal psychology. There's Faye Masterson, a haunted-looking beauty with her hot-tempered, insanely jealous boyfriend, Patrick Warburton; Amanda Plummer, an over-sexed psychic; Tyra Banks and Gina Mari, stunt actresses who dabble in martial arts; R. Lee Ermey, a paranoid, reclusive ex-government agent; creepy twins Jimmy and David Schuelke; and Charles Martin Smith as the agoraphobic with a dark, terrible secret. The horror starts when Lowe discovers a dead body in the murky swimming pool. Detectives Ron Canada and Miguel Sandoval figure he's their only suspect, tormenting and bullying him as other strange events plague the tenants. All the psycho-babble he's been learning in grad school comes in handy as the wise-beyond-his-years student begins doling out free therapy as he zeros in on the real killer. On the Granger Made-for-Television Gauge, "The Apartment Complex" is a sinister 6. It's Halloween hell in exchange for free rent.

Susan Granger's review of "JAKOB THE LIAR" (Columbia Pictures)
I suspect that if "Life is Beautiful" had not won last year's Oscar, this Holocaust film would be more appreciated. Unfortunately, the similarities are superficially apparent - revolving around a whimsical, imprisoned Jew who keeps hope alive and shields a small child amidst the Nazi atrocities. In this adaptation of Jurek Becker's 1969 best-seller by French writer/director Peter Kassovitz, Robin Williams plays Jakob, the latke (pancake) maker, who lives in a Polish ghetto. He's a widower who gets caught, allegedly after curfew, and sent to Gestapo headquarters where he overhears a radio bulletin indicating that Russian forces are advancing on Warsaw. Cautiously making his way home, he encounters a ten year-old girl (Hannah Taylor Gordon), an Anne Frank look-alike, whose parents were taken to a concentration camp and, sympathetically, shelters her. The next morning, Jakob is so excited about the war news that he confides it to one friend who tells another, who tells another, who tells another. Soon the gritty ghetto is humming, and the assumption is that Jakob has a forbidden radio on which he heard the broadcast. Suddenly Jakob becomes a celebrity, a reluctant hero because of his wishful thinking. "My crowning achievement: latkes and lies," he moans. But it's this dark joke, a sunny day, and a hopeful rumor that helped a few doomed Jews survive in 1944. Despite an awkward, indulgent screenplay, Robin Williams delivers a solid, restrained characterization, supported by Liev Schreiber, Alan Arkin, Armin Mueller-Stahl, and Bob Balaban. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Jakob the Liar" is a serio-comic 7. Curious side-note: Kassovitz sent the script to Robin Williams because he thought Williams was Jewish. He isn't, but he found the concept intriguing.

Susan Granger's review of "ILLUMINATA" (Artisan Entertainment)

After "Shakespeare in Love," this sumptuously presented but overly long story of behind-the-scenes actors pales in comparison. But you have to credit it as a labor of love by John Turturro, who co-wrote, directed, and acted in it. Set amid a flamboyant turn-of-the-century New York repertory company, it revolves around a failing resident playwright, John Turturro, whose claim to fame is his marriage to the troupe's leading lady, played by Katherine Borowitz, Turturro's real-life wife. The playwright yearns to shelve the heavy-handed melodramas of the period as he aspires to a more naturalistic style of theater, but no one believes in him. "Illuminata" is both the title of a play-within-the-movie and what he eventually calls his wife after they survive treachery, back-biting, and intrigue - not to mention the on-stage death of the leading man mid-performance on opening night. Susan Sarandon is glorious as the promiscuous, aging diva who glances at a young actress and murmurs, "That is how I shall look years from now. I'm beginning to be able to play ingenues." But Christopher Walken steals the picture as a smug, gay critic - think Oscar Wilde - who relishes the cruelty he liberally dishes out, and Bill Irwin is amusing as the wretchedly reluctant object of his affections. Their characterizations are particularly bawdy. Beverly D'Angelo, Ben Gazzara, and the late Donal McCann complete the supporting cast, along with Turturro's son and cousin. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Illuminata" is an art-house 6, exploring the durability of love with enough dramatic lulls to catch a quick snooze.

Susan Granger's review of "STIFF UPPER LIPS" (Cowboy Booking International)

This parody of stuffy, austere, Edwardian-era costume dramas is almost as formulaic as the Merchant-Ivory genre it satirizes. In 1908 England, upper class inbreeding is definitely weakening the gene pool. The story revolves around Edward (Samuel West) who takes a fellow Cambridge undergrad, Cedric (Robert Portal) home to "Ivory's End" to meet his tightly-corseted sister Emily (Georgina Cates), hoping it might be a suitable match. But Emily takes an instant dislike to Cedric who, in turn, has "strange feelings" for Edward. So Aunt Agnes (Prunella Scales) plans a diverting trip abroad, hoping that the exotic sights might inspire romance. That happens, of course, except not the way anyone plans when Emily leaps the line of class separation and falls in love with her lusty luggage-bearer (Sean Pertwee), declaring, "I want my sexual awakening, and I want it now!" Screenwriters Paul Simpkin and Gary Sinyor, augmented by Mr. Sinyor's direction, spoof the steadfast British tradition of straight-backed, stoic acceptance of duty to class, school, and country - in that order. Their mocking, socially observant visual humor is amusing but not as clever as it could and should be. The primary problem lies with the fatal flaw of winking at the audience. Parody should be played absolutely straight, full out, with total conviction, rather than a smug, self-knowing smirk. Only Peter Ustinov, as a cranky, eccentric Indian tea plantation owner, and Frank Finlay, as the genteel family's aging butler, achieve their poker-faced comedy objectives. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Stiff Upper Lips" is a flimsy 4. I'd advise waiting for the video and using it as a counter-culture antidote to a Merchant-Ivory film festival.

Susan Granger's review of "IN THE COMPANY OF SPIES" (SHOWTIME TV)

On Sunday night (Oct. 24) at 8 PM, Showtime TV presents an original espionage thriller that revolves around the CIA in this contemporary era of increased openness and accountability. Tom Berenger stars as a retired operative who angrily resigned five years ago from his position as head of the East Asian division and has since opened a Thai restaurant in Washington, D.C... He's brought back into action by his former boss, Ron Silver, to save a colleague who has been captured by the North Korean authorities. Korean Internal Security (KIS) knows the suspected agent possesses valuable knowledge of a covert operation but they don't know its nature, nor does the CIA. Berenger's assignment is to find out what the spy knows and to try to save his life. As the story unfolds, a small team of American spies, whose remarkable talents combine the newest technological techniques with old-fashioned infiltration work, reveals that, indeed, something sinister and critical is brewing in North Korea, something that could conceivably threaten the United States. The believable story portrays today's CIA in a realistic light, which helped the producers become the first film-makers to receive true access to the operational world of the Agency, filming some of the scenes at CIA Headquarters in Langley, Virginia. But its really the meticulously developed, character-driven script by Roger Towne ("The Natural"), expertly directed by Tim Matheson, that makes this presentation so compelling. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "In the Company of Spies" is a compelling, suspenseful 8. This made-for-TV spy saga is as good or better than any you'll see at local movie theaters.

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