MOVIES

. . . . .

Susan Granger's review of "Bloodline" (Cinema Libre Studio)

Anything that questions the tenets of faith is immediately provocative and controversial - and the hypothesis in Bruce Burgess's "Bloodline" inflames the imagination and pushes the envelope.
This new documentary takes up where Dan Brown's "The Da Vinci Code" left off, presenting evidence that may prove that Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene not only married but their bloodline continued in the Languedoc region of southwestern France.
Traveling to the famed church at Rennes-le-Chateau, Burgess and Rene Barnett show the connections between the Church of Mary Magdalene, the Knights Templar and the threat from Opus Dei, utilizing clues in coded artworks with riddles and puzzles left by the priest Berenger Sauniere, who said he'd "found a tomb that could shake the Vatican to the core."
Demonstrating initial skepticism, the filmmakers analyze artifacts and documents; reveal the discovery of a mummified female body draped in a white shroud with a distinctive red cross, along with relics and coins that were identified by the British Museum and biblical archeologists as dating from first-century Jerusalem; and interview two spokesmen from the secret society known as The Priory of Sion.
So what's credible and what may be an elaborate hoax? You decide.
While the filmmakers acknowledge, "People sometimes prefer a lie to the truth," what's most intriguing, however, is the conjecture that this discovery could, in fact, presage the Second Coming by a further understanding and renewal of Christianity. As the filmmakers note: if Jesus did marry and have a family, that fact might humanize and amplify the significance of His teachings.
On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Bloodline" is an enthralling 7. If you're at all intrigued, go to www.thetombman.com - and there's more to be revealed since further archeological excavation lies ahead.

Susan Granger's review of "What Happens in Vegas" (20th Century Fox)

As tepid romantic comedies go, this one should have stayed in Vegas.
Joy McNally (Cameron Diaz) is an insecure Manhattan commodities trader who was just publicly dumped by her fiancé (Jason Sudeikis). New Yorker slacker Jack Fuller (Ashton Kutcher) was recently fired by his father (Treat Williams) from a furniture-manufacturing job. Along with their respective pals (Lake Bell, Rob Corddry), they meet in Sin City and party hearty one night. The next morning, they wake up hung over - and married. Bickering immediately, they have no intention of staying together but Jack takes a quarter from Joy to put in slot machine and wins three million dollars - which they both claim. Seeking an annulment back in the Big Apple, a cranky judge (Dennis Miller) refuses to resolve the jackpot dispute. Instead, he insists that they try for six months to make their mismatched union work, meeting regularly with a therapist (Queen Latifah). So neatnik Joy moves into sloppy Jack's apartment and open warfare is declared. In the meantime, Jack charms Joy's boss (Dennis Farina) while Joy endears herself to Jack's family.
While any sane couple would simply split the windfall and be thankful for $1.5 million, screenwriter Dana Fox and British director Tom Vaughan struggle with the implausible concept that both Joy and Jack are so selfish and mean-spirited that they're ready to endure any number of indignities to battle it out. To the victor belong the spoils, etc.
Cameron Diaz is many things - but believable as a stockbroker isn't one of them. And snarky Ashton Kutcher pushes the charm button too hard. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "What Happens in Vegas" is a flimsy, forgettable 4. Too bad they forgot to pack the fun.

Susan Granger's review of "Speed Racer" (Warner Bros.)

If you're into high-octane car racing, trippy Japanese anime and awesome visuals, this is spectacular family fare.
Speed Racer (Emile Hirsch of "Into the Wild") is obsessed with racing. Despite the death of his adored older brother, Rex, who was presumably killed in an accident years earlier, the sport is a family passion. His dad (John Goodman) runs an independent racing team with the moral (and culinary) support of his mom (Susan Sarandon) and to the delight of his 11 year-old brother, Spritle (Paulie Litt), along with his pet chimpanzee, and Speed's perky, helicopter-pilot girl-friend, Trixie (Christina Ricci).
When Speed's recruited to join ultramodern Royalton Industries, he refuses, infuriating its owner (Roger Allam), who maintains that money rules and the biggest races are 'fixed' with the finishing order planned and controlled. If Speed won't drive his Mach 5 for Royalton, the family business is in jeopardy, along with his life. After preliminary skirmishes, Speed teams up his one-time rival, mysterious Racer X (Matthew Fox of "Lost") who is working with a secret law-enforcement agency. The 91st Annual Grand Prix turns out to be a showdown with corrupt big business.
On their first writing/directing collaboration since the "Matrix" trilogy, Andy and Larry Wachowski spent $120 million - and every penny shows in the 2000+ edgy, vibrant, candy-colored, kaleidoscopic visual effects. They've invented a new process of combining CGI with live action, utilizing perspective control that allows two images to be in focus at the same time. Designed by 'carchitects,' their World Racing League is an acrobatic, full-contact motor sport, described as 'Car-Fu,' automotive martial arts.
On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Speed Racer" is an intense, adrenaline-pumping, unstoppable 8 - and don't forget the sleek Hot Wheels tie-in toys, including 1,500 action-figures.

Susan Granger's review of "Young at Heart" (Fox Searchlight Pictures)

Stephen Walker's endearing documentary begins with a standing ovation - and, as the remarkable story unfolds, you learn why.
It chronicles seven weeks of rehearsal with a spirited chorus of 24 senior citizens from Northampton, Massachusetts, who perform internationally. These eclectic retirees - primarily septuagenarians and octogenarians - sing cover versions of rock, punk and rhythm-and-blues tunes by contemporary artists like Sonic Youth, Talking Heads, The Bee Gees, Radiohead, The Sex Pistols, The Ramones and James Brown.
Certainly "Shall I Stay or Shall I Go" by The Clash takes on an entirely different meaning when warbled by sprightly 92 year-old Eileen Hall, as does David Bowie's "Golden Years." Having left the group, eloquent Fred Kittle - with his deep, Johnny Cash-like voice - reappears, strapped to an oxygen tank after suffering congestive heart failure. His rendition of Coldplay's "Fix You," dedicated to a deceased chorus member, remains indelible.
The ebullient choir director is fiftysomething Bob Cilman, who started the group 25 years ago. While exuding patience, he's driven and demanding, insisting that singers learn the new songs that take them out of the past and into the present, maintaining that music is the transformative fountain of youth.
Britain's Channel 4 filmmaker Stephen Walker narrates, providing the necessary connective tissue from the lighthearted beginning through subsequent pathos. The chorus's rendition of Bruce Springsteen's "Dancing in the Dark" and Bob Dylan's "Forever Young" for prison inmates delivers what is, arguably, the most touching moment. Although not every member of the Golden Oldsters makes it through to the pivotal "Alive and Well" performance, there's no doubt that everyone is there in spirit. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Young at Heart" is a life-affirming 9, putting a different kind of pep into pop music.

Susan Granger's review of "A Previous Engagement" (Buccaneer Films)

As Oscar Wilde said, "The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it."
So when Julia Reynolds (Juliet Stevenson), a Seattle librarian, talks her staid, jigsaw puzzle-obsessed husband Jack (Daniel Stern) into taking a vacation on the Mediterranean island of Malta, she has a secret agenda. Twenty-five years earlier, she made a date there with her first love, Alex (Tcheky Karyo). When the sexy Frenchman, now the editor of a literary magazine in Montreal, not only shows up but vows she's still his one-and-only true love, Julia is faced with an aching dilemma. Should she leave her family - since her two grown daughters have unexpectedly have shown up - for the memory of an idyllic romance? And what will happen to unsuspecting Alex when he finds out?
Cleverly written and insightfully directed by Joan Carr-Wiggin ("Honeymoon"), it's deliciously unpredictable, an emotional roller-coaster ride.or as Julia astutely observes, "If people knew who their mothers really were, the world would end."
Juliet Stevenson ("Truly, Madly, Deeply," "Bend It Like Beckham") is magnificently fearless and desperately funny, striking not a single false note in a highly combustible mixture of emotions. Tcheky Karyo ("The Good Thief," "The Patriot") performs with cagey humor and dazzling delicacy, while Daniel Stern ("Home Alone") is slyly surprising and voraciously smart. As an opportunistic divorcee, Valerie Mahaffey ("Desperate Housewives") is a radiant comedienne.
Amped by a sensational 'buy-it-now' soundtrack that's perfect for baby boomers, on the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "A Previous Engagement" is an irresistible 8. It's the rarest of all things: an intelligent, sophisticated romance with real meat on its bones. You'll leave the theater with a smile on your face and an answer to the question: Is that all there is?

Susan Granger's review of "Iron Man" (Paramount Pictures/Marvel Studios)

What happens when a hip, new superhero appears? He attacks corporate amorality, skewering the military/industrial complex, and changes the geo-political landscape. Too bad he can't run for President.
When arrogant billionaire playboy/weapons manufacturer Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) is in Afghanistan demonstrating his company's new Jericho missile, he's kidnapped by insurgents who bomb his convoy. Awakening in a cave, he learns his life has been saved by doctor (Shaun Toub) who implants an electromagnetic device to keep the shrapnel from piercing his heart. While the terrorist leader, Raza (Faran Tahir) demands that he replicate a Jericho out of spare parts, Tony secretly makes a high-tech suit of armor and escapes, looking a bit like the Michelin Man. But his life has been changed.
Back in his Malibu mountaintop mansion, he's determined to stop making armaments and use his knowledge to wreak vengeance on his captors and save humanity, much to the surprise of his manipulative guardian/mentor (Jeff Bridges), loyal assistant (Gwyneth Paltrow), military liaison (Terrence Howard) and an investigative reporter (Leslie Bibb).
While the making-of-a-superhero story is formulaic, by assembling a high-caliber cast, headed by gifted Robert Downey Jr., director Jon Favreau ("Elf," "Swingers") elevates the superhero concept, making it hip, augmenting the imagery with metallic touches from "Iron Giant" and reminiscent tinges of the reclusive lifestyle of Howard Hughes. And credit production designer J. Michael Riva and cinematographer Matthew Libatique for convincing us that there's really a man with a soul propelling that special effects suit.
On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Iron Man" is a nifty 9. Make no mistake, though. It's Robert Downey Jr., having triumphed over his substance abuse battle, who puts the pedal to the metal and scores the freshest new franchise going.

Susan Granger's review of "Made of Honor" (Columbia Pictures)

This romantic comedy is the first feel-good date movie of May.
Tom (Patrick Dempsey) and Hannah (Michelle Monaghan) have been platonic best friends since college - when he accidentally stumbled into her bed wearing a Bill Clinton mask, intending to seduce her roommate 'Monica.' Back then, he invented the 'coffee collar,' the paper sleeve that's made him a millionaire.
Ten years later and still commitment-phobic, Tom's into sport sex, seducing a different woman every week, never spending consecutive nights with any of them. But Sundays he always spends with Hannah - until a business trip takes her to Scotland, where she meets a hunky, irresistible nobleman, charming Colin McMurray (Kevin McKidd), who sweeps her off her feet and into one of his four castles. The realization that he's going to lose Hannah jars Tom into the realization of how truly compatible they are and how much he loves her. Heartbroken, he's determined to woo Hannah back and stop the wedding before she's gone forever - even if that means enduring the wrath of her bridesmaids and competing in the Highland Games.
As one of today's most popular leading men, Patrick Dempsey ("Enchanted") delivers a cleverly roguish performance, and Michelle Monaghan exudes beauty and grace. Admittedly, Adam Sztykiel, Deborah Kaplan and Harry Elfont's screenplay is superficial and predictable, albeit from the male perspective, but Paul Weiland's engaging direction handles the formulaic plot with frothy, improvisational flair. And Weiland's supporting cast - Kevin McKidd, Sydney Pollack, Kathleen Quinlan - couldn't be better, nor could his choice of idyllic Dunvegan Castle on the Isle of Skye.
On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Made of Honor" is an exuberant 8. Boasting three (count 'em) weddings, it's a delightful, audience-pleasing, fun-filled fairytale of laughter and love.

Susan Granger's review of "Deception" (20th Century-Fox)

What a waste of talent and money! Burdened with the ineptitude of commercials director Marcel Langenegger, this forgettable wannabe thriller fizzles.
It begins with corporate auditor Jonathan McQuarry (Ewan McGregor) working late in the conference room of a prestigious Manhattan law firm. An amiable attorney, Wyatt Bose (Hugh Jackman), pops his head in the door and introduces himself. Eventually, they're sharing marijuana and male bonding. Wimpy, socially awkward Jonathan opens up to confident, gregarious Wyatt, admitting, "I see life, literally, passing me by."
They meet for tennis, then for lunch in Central Park, where they accidentally swap cell phones just before Wyatt jets off to London on a business trip. Answering Wyatt's cellphone opens a decadent new world for lonely Jonathan when a woman's voice seductively inquires, "Are you free tonight?"
The cellphone contains "The List," the conduit to an upscale sex club where anonymous members meet for "intimacy without intricacy." After timid trysts with some randy Wall Street executives (Charlotte Rampling, Natasha Hensridge, Maggie Q), Jonathan falls for a mysterious woman (Michelle Williams) whom he can only identify by the initial "S" from the letter on her key ring and is gradually drawn into manipulative Wyatt's lethal web of treacherous financial intrigue; it's a slick blackmail scam that grows increasingly preposterous as time goes by.
Written by Mark Bomback ("Live Free or Die Hard"), the clunky concept must have seemed far better on paper to attract actors of this magnitude who soldier on despite the ludicrous plot twists and total lack of eroticism. So when does enigmatic become incoherent? In the hands of an inexperienced director. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Deception" is a devious, implausible 2, a deadly, duplicitous dud.

Susan Granger's review of "Then She Found Me" (ThinkFilm)

Straight from the heart, without restraints, Helen Hunt's directorial debut is a fresh, funny, fascinating emotional journey.
Raised in a traditional Jewish family, April Epner (Hunt) is a 39 year-old New York primary schoolteacher whose biological clock is ticking so loudly that she can think of little else. An adoptive child herself, she is determined to conceive, much to the chagrin of her immature husband Ben (Matthew Broderick), who deems their marriage a mistake and confesses to an affair.
Obviously distraught and vulnerable at his betrayal, April encounters amorous Frank (Colin Firth), the recently divorced father of one of her young students, who cautions her, "Don't do anything until you've slept. Don't let anybody try to set you up with anyone."
To add to April's confusion, after her adoptive mother dies, a woman purporting to be her birth mother suddenly introduces herself. It's Bernice (Bette Midler), the brassy host of a local morning TV talk show. Self-deprecating April is skeptical but curious, particularly when Bernice claims that actor Steve McQueen was her father. And then the real romantic complications begin.
Loosely based on a novel by Elinor Lipman and adapted by Alice Arlen, Victor Levin and Hunt, there's vivid, nuanced storytelling with deft, intelligent dialogue laced with a sense of humor that is both defensive and revealing. Hunt's graceful direction flows naturally and easily, giving the story an understated authenticity.
The deftly chosen, altogether believable ensemble cast is superb, plus there's a surprise Salman Rushdie cameo as April's obstetrician, along with Edie Falco and Janeane Garofalo as Bernice's celebrity guests.
On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Then She Found Me" is a stylish yet deeply sensitive 7, lifting your spirit. No one will come away without a smile.

Susan Granger's review of "Forbidden Kingdom" (Lionsgate/Weinstein Co.)

    The gimmick is that Hong Kong action stars Jackie Chan and Jet Li team up for the first time - but is that enough to warrant such a muddled martial arts fantasy?
    It all begins as a bullied teenager, Jason Tripitikas (Michael Angarano), is forced to become involved in the robbery of an elderly pawnbroker (Chan) in South Boston. As he's fleeing from local thugs and toting a mysterious golden staff, he's magically transported to China's Middle Kingdom. Lost and bewildered, he's befriended by Lu Yan (Chan), a wisecracking, perpetually drunk martial arts master who identifies Jason as the "the seeker" who is destined to fulfill the ancient prophecy and begins training him in fighting skills so that he can return the staff to its rightful owner, the immortal Monkey King (Li), who has been imprisoned by a tyrannical Warlord. Joining them on the long, arduous trek to the Jade Palace is orphaned Golden Sparrow (Liu Yifei), who is determined to kill the evil Warlord, and the fearless Silent Monk (Li), who also becomes Jason's teacher. From time to time, they're harassed by a wicked white-tressed, whip-wielding, bounty-hunting witch (Li Bing Bing).
    As Jason's physical prowess improves, so does his self-confidence, which he'll need when and if he can ever "return home."
    Screenwriter John Fusco and director Rob Minkoff deliver a fusion smorgasbord with a smattering of "The Wizard of Oz," combined with "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon," topped with a fillip of "Rush Hour" and "The Karate Kid." It's generic enough to give anyone cinematic indigestion, followed by repetition-induced sleep, despite the impressive efforts of cinematographer Peter Pau and choreographer Woo-Ping Yuen.
    On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Forbidden Kingdom" is a tedious, butt-kicking 4, filled with cliché-ridden, chop-schlocky action.

Susan Granger's review of "Baby Mama" (Universal Pictures)

    With every magazine extolling "baby bumps" and the awareness of thirtysomethings that their biological clock is ticking, there's no question that this romantic comedy is timely.
    And perhaps I expected too much when two of the funniest comediennes from "Saturday Night Live" - Tiny Fey and Amy Poehler - teamed up with writer/director Michael McCullers and producers Lorne Michaels and John Goldwyn.
    Businesswoman Kate Holbrook (Tina Fey) has always been so focused on her career at Philadelphia's Round Earth Organic Market - catering to her New Age guru boss (Steve Martin) - that she never considered having a family. But now that she's ready, apparently, her uterus isn't. Discouraged about adoption, she turns to Chaffee Bricknell's (Sigourney Weaver) maternal 'outsourcing' agency that teams her up with a 'gestational assistant' or surrogate, scheming Angie Ostrowiski (Amy Poehler). Or, as Kate's wisecracking doorman (Romany Malco) dubs her, "the baby mama."
    But Angie's saddled with a sleazy, duplicitous common-law husband (Dax Shepard) whom she eventually leaves - and moves in with Kate. They're a female "Odd Couple": Kate's an obsessed perfectionist, while Angie's a junk-food gobbling slob. To add to the confusion, Kate's falling in love with a local fruit juice-bar owner (Greg Kinnear), a single father. Of course, eventually, everyone discovers what the non-traditional concept of 'family' is really all about.
    While seasoned as the writer of two successful "Austin Powers" pictures, Michael McCullers, who once shared a "SNL" office with Tina Fey, could have used a more experienced comedy director; this is his first feature film - and it shows, not only in the pacing but in the woefully weak third act. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Baby Mama" is a wry, satirical 7. It's just not as hip as I was hoping.

Susan Granger's review of "Prom Night" (Screen Gems/Sony Pictures)

    With its impressive box-office tally, this remake of the slasher thriller "Prom Night" has put some bite back into the horror genre although, surprisingly, the violence has actually decreased this time 'round in order to get that coveted PG-13 rating.
    Bridgeport High School senior Donna Keppel (Brittany Snow of "Hairspray") lives with her aunt and uncle (Jessalyn Gilsig, Linden Ashby). As shown in flashback, three years earlier, as she hid under the bed, her parents were butchered by Richard Fenton (Johnathon Schaech), a psychopathic teacher who's obsessed with her. Now fiendish Fenton has escaped from a maximum security prison.
    Unsuspecting Donna is looking forward to spending prom night with Bobby (Scott Porter of "Friday Night Lights") and their friends (Dana Davis, Collins Pennie, Jessica Stroup, Kelly Blatz) who have booked a stretch limo and a suite at the Pacific Grand Hotel for their own private 'after prom' celebration which is crashed by the knife-toting killer, trailed by a dim-witted cop (Idris Elba).
   Veteran TV director Nelson McCormick ("Prison Break," "CSI") makes his directing debut, working from an inane script by J.S. Cardone ("The Covenant"). It's tepid fare with a vacuous cast, particularly when compared with the previous 1980 version featuring Jamie Lee Curtis as the scream queen.
    The only memorable line of dialogue is delivered by Brianne Davis, as nasty Crissy, who disses her prom date, noting: "If he were any dumber, I'd have to water him."
    And it's truly unfortunate that Johnathon Schaech ("That Thing You Do") lumbers around looking like a demented Forrest Gump. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Prom Night" loses its bloomin' corsage with an easily forgotten 2. Or, as another critic cryptically remarked, "Many people in this picture actually died of boredom."

Susan Granger's review of "The Year My Parents Went on Vacation" (City Lights)

    Brazil's official entry for the 2008 Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film was a droll coming-of-age story set in the turbulent year of 1970.
    12 year-old soccer-obsessed Mauro (Michel Joelsas) is only interested in the upcoming World Cup matches when his parents - left-wing militants, opposed to the repressive military regime that controls the country - are forced into hiding, ostensibly "on vacation," hastily dropping off bewildered Mauro at his elderly grandfather's apartment in Sao Paulo's Bom Retiro district, home to a mixed-ethnic community of Jewish, Italian, Greek and Arab immigrants.
    Problem is: Mauro's grandfather has just died - and his next-door neighbor, Schlomo (Germano Haiut), a solitary, Yiddish-speaking Jew who works in the local synagogue, winds up looking after him after the rabbi tells him that, like Moses, Mauro has been left on his doorstep by God.
    Torn between staying near the phone - waiting for his parents' call - and exploring his new environs, Mauro encounters an array of colorful characters. His first and closest friend is tomboyish, street-smart Hanna (Daniela Pipeszyk), who cleverly peddles peeks at women trying on clothes in the dressing room of her mother's store. But Mauro's adolescent heart is smitten by Irene (Liliana Castro), a waitress in the local bar where everyone gathers to watch Pele, Carlos Alberto and Tostao fight for victory in the World Cup Championship which, tragically, coincides with a political upheaval.
  Screenwriter/director/producer Cao Hamburger, creator of the award-winning children's series "Castelo Ra-Tim-Bum" and the HBO series "Filhos do Carnaval," astutely captures the resilience of the human spirit. "I came here alone," Mauro reflects, "and managed to survive."
    On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "The Year My Parents Went on Vacation" is an eloquent 9.  It's a gem!

Susan Granger's review of "Street Kings" (Fox Searchlight Pictures)

    There ought to be a testosterone warning posted at the box-office and stamped on each ticket because overdosing is a distinct possibility.
    Recently widowed veteran LAPD Det. Tom Ludlow (Keanu Reeves) is a psychotic killing machine. He starts his day by purchasing three airline bottles of cheap vodka, the first of which he gulps just before he massacres four scummy thugs and rescues two kidnapped Asian girls in Koreatown.
    "You went toe-to-toe with evil and you won!" chortles his ambitious supervisor, Capt. Jack Wander (Forest Whitaker), who firmly believes that the end justifies the means.
    But when anti-heroic Ludlow is implicated in the death of his former partner, Det. Terrence Washington (Terry Crews), he's determined to track down the real murderers while eluding persistent Internal Affairs Capt. James Biggs (Hugh Laurie), who's fishing for information about everyone else in the department.
    Bottom line: if you're looking for an incorruptible cop, look in a less sordid county.
    Directed by David Ayer ("Training Day") from a predictable, paper-thin plot by "L.A. Confidential" novelist James Ellroy, Kurt Wimmer and Jamie Moss, it's a cynical, cliché-laden litany of police corruption. Gratuitous violence is ladled out like greasy gravy, along with racial slurs. And the platitudinous dialogue is often ludicrous.
    One of the most incongruous moments comes, early on, when Ludlow's ex-partner's body has been riddled with dozens of bullets from two machine guns at close range in a convenience store. Contorting his almost static facial muscles, Keanu leans over, stares into his eyes and flatly entreats him: "Stay with me!" Like for seven seconds maybe. To call Reeves' acting wooden is an insult to Pinnochio. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Street Kings" is a brutal 3, giving gritty realism a bad name.

Susan Granger's review of "Shine a Light" (Paramount Pictures)

    If you're into the music of the Rolling Stones and admire the cinematic artistry of director Martin Scorsese, then this rockin' concert film is for you - either on the flat screen or the extra-large IMAX format.
   Most of the two hours is devoted to the Stones concert at Manhattan's 2,800-seat Beacon Theater in the fall of 2006, celebrating the 60th birthday of Bill Clinton. There are more than 20 numbers, mostly Stones standards. As to be expected, brash Mick Jagger's visage dominates the footage, strutting, scampering, scatting and shouting around a stage that thrusts right into the audience, but drummer Charlie Watts, along with guitarists Ronnie Woods and Keith Richards, do get their well-deserved close-ups.
    Speaking of those tight, low-angle shots, on the huge IMAX screen, it may be a closer examination than you bargained for: Mick Jagger was 63 when this was filmed and the ravages of time have not been kind to his deeply lined face and extensive dental work.
    Humor is injected through vintage clips and archival interview footage. It's poignant when, in 1972, Dick Cavett asks Jagger if he could imagine doing this at 60 and Jagger quips, "Oh, yeah, easily." There are guests - singer Jack White, slinky Christina Aguilera and bluesman Buddy Guy - but little insightful, behind-the-scenes footage.
    If you enjoy this kind of entertainment, check out Scorsese's "The Last Waltz" (1978), which, frankly, is far better. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Shine a Light" is an energetic 8. Scorsese has already decided to do another music documentary - this time about the life and times of the late reggae legend Bob Marley - and he dedicates this film to longtime music guru Ahmet Ertegun who died shortly after it was completed.

Susan Granger's review of "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" (Universal Pictures)

    Gleefully uproarious sex comedies have become the bawdy province of Judd Apatow ("The 40 Year-Old Virgin," "Knocked Up"), who stretches farcical, vulgar silliness into outright hilarity.
    Since struggling musician Peter Bretter (Jason Segel) is wildly in love with his girlfriend, "Crime Scene" television star Sarah Marshall (Kristen Bell of "Veronica Mars"), he's utterly shattered when she unceremoniously dumps him for an egotistical British-rocker, Aldous Snow (Russell Brand).
    Following the advice of his well-meaning stepbrother (Bill Hader), Peter books a 4th of July trip to Hawaii, checking into the posh Turtle Bay Resort, not realizing that Sarah and Aldous are there too. Saved from mortification by a compassionate front desk clerk, Rachael (smoldering Mila Kunis), he awkwardly tries to heal his broken heart with some new friends and to complete his great opus: a dark, Gothic "Dracula" rock opera with vampire puppets.
    Insightfully scripted by Jason Segel (yes, he wrote himself the pathetic leading character) and sensitively directed by Nicholas Stoller, it plumbs all the laughter inherent in an emotional disaster while skillfully tweaking formulaic romantic comedy clichés. Plus, the lusty women are bright as well as beautiful - and that counts.
    Remember how taboo full-frontal male nudity once was? Forget it. From the getgo, Jason Segel is in the altogether - and he's altogether likeable - as is the rest of the cast, including fresh funny folk like Paul Rudd (as a surfing instructor), Jonah Hill (as a star-struck waiter) and Jack McBrayer (as a sexually naïve newlywed). But it's droll Russell Brand's hedonistic bravado that steals the show!
    On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" is an outrageous 8, a raunchy romp that turns into a real audience-pleaser. And linger for an amusing epilogue in the final credits.

Susan Granger's review of "Smart People" (Miramax)

    American astronomer Dr. Carl Sagan once said, "Knowing a great deal is not the same as being smart; intelligence is not information alone but also judgment, the manner in which information is collected and used."
    So it's not surprising that some 'smart people' can be thick as planks.
    While pompous Carnegie Mellon University literature professor Lawrence Wetherhold (Dennis Quaid) may be a brilliant academician, he's a caustic, contemptuous curmudgeon. And while his smug, selfish 17 year-old whiz-kid daughter Vanessa (Ellen Page) may ace her SATs, ensuring early admission to Stanford, she hasn't a clue about herself.  Sent to Pittsburgh to dig them out of their self-inflicted misery are his inept, irresponsible adopted brother Chuck (Thomas Haden Church) and former student-turned-lonely-ER doctor, Janet Hartigan (Sarah Jessica Parker).
    Drawing from "The Wonder Boys," "The Squid and the Whale" and "Dan in Real Life," first-time screenwriter Mark Jude Poirier and former commercials director Noam Murro delineate some potentially provocative, dysfunctional family situations but then let them drift somewhat aimlessly for far too long before coming to a totally predictable conclusion.
    The three leading actors dig into their idiosyncratic characters: Dennis Quaid ("Vantage Point") embodies the misanthropic widower, matched by Ellen Page ("Juno") as his smartass verbal sparring partner, and Thomas Haden Church ("Sideways") as the freewheeling humanist/slacker. On the other hand, Sarah Jessica Parker ("Sex and the City") can't seem to latch on to what's appealing about this erudite, middle-aged loser - resulting in zero chemistry between them - and the majority of Ashton Holmes' role as Wetherold's collegiate son must have been left on the cutting-room floor.
    On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Smart People" is an underwhelming, fragmented 5 - ending with a photographic epilogue that's quite confusing if you really look closely.

Susan Granger's review of "Nim's Island" (Fox Walden Media)

    This is a children's fantasy and, as such, it works rather well. But if you're hankering for adult adventure, look elsewhere.
    On a remote volcanic paradise somewhere in the South Pacific, resourceful 11 year-old Nim (Abigail Breslin) lives an idyllic existence with her scientist/writer father, Jack (Gerard Butler) and her playful friends: Selkie the sea lion, Galileo the pelican and Fred the tiny bearded dragon. Unlike Robinson Crusoe, however, once a month, a supply boat delivers the 'essentials,' like the latest novel by Nim's favorite explorer hero, Alex Rover.
    Meanwhile, cloistered in a flat in San Francisco, agoraphobic writer Alexandra Rover (Jodie Foster) is desperately trying to extricate her fictional alter-ego from a sticky 'volcanic' situation.  When she reads Jack's article on volcanoes in the National Geographic and e-mails him for more information, it's Nim who answers on the Internet. So when Jack disappears at sea and tourists from a cruise ship invade their island for a luau, Nim's only recourse is to summon Alex Rover for help.
    Over-written and awkwardly directed - with Nim chatting up the animals, Jack fighting the elements, and Alexandra talking to her computer - by the husband-and-wife team of Mark Levin and Jennifer Flackett, along with producer Paula Mazur and Joseph Kwong, it's based on Wendy Orr's novel.
    Plucky Abigail Breslin ("Little Miss Sunshine") strikes just the right notes, 'becoming the heroine of her own life,' as does Jodie Foster, handling pratfalls with her usual aplomb. While Gerard Butler ("300") seems a bit out of his element in as the paternal Jack, he succeeds as fictional persona of intrepid Alex Rover. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Nim's Island" is a family-friendly 6, complete with flying lizards and a flatulent sea lion.

Susan Granger's review of "21" (Sony Pictures Entertainment)

    Here's the deal: this is sheer escapist entertainment.
    Ben Campbell (Jim Sturgess) is a brilliant MIT senior with his heart set on attending Harvard Medical School. While he dutifully sells men's clothing at J. Press on weekends, his $8-an-hour salary just doesn't meet the steep $300,000 tuition and his widowed mom (Helen Carey) can't help out much. His future is totally dependent on winning a coveted scholarship, but other competitors are equally qualified.
    So when a manipulative math professor, Mickey Rosa (Kevin Spacey) realizes Ben's a brainiac, he convinces to join a top-secret, high-stakes gambling team (Kate Bosworth, Aaron Yoo, Liza Lapira, Jacob Pitts). Soon Ben begins to spend all his weekends in Las Vegas. Rosa has devised a near-foolproof scheme for 'counting cards' at blackjack tables and this lucrative, clandestine enterprise soon dominates Ben's life, much to the chagrin of his geeky buddies (Josh Gad, Sam Golzari) - and Planet Hollywood's beleaguered security consultant (Laurence Fishburne) who has a grudge against Rosa.
    Based on "Bringing Down the House," Ben Mezrich's best-seller about six real-life MIT students who took Vegas for millions in the 1990s, director Robert Luketic ("Legally Blonde") makes 'counting cards' absolutely fascinating, not to mention exciting, aided by Gray Marshall's flashy visual effects. Writers Peter Steinfeld and Allan Loeb have a tougher time with characterizations, particularly since bland Kate Bosworth ("Superman Returns," "Beyond the Sea") seems incapable of more than a couple of facial expressions. As if to compensate, Spacey maniacally cavorts all over the screen, while Fishburne provides believable menace.
    Despite some glaring plot loopholes that had me wondering why Ben didn't rent a safety-deposit box at a Boston bank, on the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "21" is a slick, suspenseful 7. It's a good gamble.

Susan Granger's review of "Leatherheads" (Universal Pictures)

    Actor/director George Clooney ("Good Night and Good Luck") tries a throwback to the Hollywood screwball romantic genre with this sports comedy set in the 1920s, when America's pro-football league was in its infancy.
    Charming Dodge Connolly (Clooney) is an aging player who recruits a hotshot Princeton star/war hero, Carter "The Bullet" Rutherford (John Krasinski from "The Office"), hoping to revitalize the Duluth Bulldogs, a ragtag team of coal miners and farmers whose audience is dwindling. Inevitably, they become rivals for an intrepid newspaper reporter, Lexie Littleton (Renee Zellweger).
    Genially noting, "I steal from everybody," Clooney lifts snippets from directors Howard Hawks, George Cukor, Preston Sturges and the Coen brothers' "Hudsucker Proxy," among others. The awkward gracelessness of Zellweger's Lexie can be traced directly back to Rosalind Russell in "His Girl Friday," along with her self-assuredness. Cary Grant must have been Clooney's role model, particularly his amiable elusiveness. Only, Grant's reactions were usually oblique, while Clooney's are all too transparent. And the conceit of Krasinski's character has its antecedents in "Hail the Conquering Hero" with contemporary tinges of John Kerry's Swift Boat.
    While the sharp dialogue by screenwriters Duncan Brantley and Rick Reilly epitomizes quarreling without losing your class - it's a ritual banter of personal exchange and witty expression - the storyline is as uneven as the pacing. I suspect it may play better on DVD where it will easily recoup its investment, particularly among diehard football fans who may be intrigued by the antiquity of the plays. Back then, for example, passing was considered 'unmanly,' so it was rough-and-tumble down-the-middle until one player broke free and ran for the goalposts to score. 
    On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Leatherheads" is an admirably stylized 6. Yet as sports comedies go, it fumbles.

Susan Granger's review of "Stop-Loss" (Paramount Pictures)

    While Democrats Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama devise exit strategies and Republican John McCain speculates that we'll be in Iraq for the next 100 years, filmmaker Kimberley Peirce ("Boys Don't Cry") angrily delves into what's happening to troops currently serving their country in the Middle East.
    Specifically, the government's Stop-Loss Policy, which authorizes the retention of soldiers in the service beyond their expected term, also known as a "Back Door Draft."
    Staff Sgt. Brandon King (Ryan Phillippe) has honorably completed two tours of duty in Afghanistan and Iraq and is recovering in Brazos, his small Texas hometown, when he's informed that the Army plans to send him back - indefinitely. While he's as patriotic as the next guy, that's just not right!
    Meanwhile, his buddy, Steve Shriver (Channing Tatum), is so emotionally devastated that - his first night home - he gets drunk and digs a foxhole in the front yard from which he howls, much to the distress of his fiancée (Abbie Cornish). And Tommy Burgess (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) has become a stereotypically twitchy, screwed-up psycho veteran.
    So King impetuously goes AWOL, becoming a fugitive in the country he fought to protect.
    Problem is: "Stop-Loss" isn't really about the use of that legal loophole. Instead, it's about soldiers' post-traumatic stress upon returning home from war, a subject covered far more effectively by Paul Haggis in "In the Valley of Elah," for which Tommy Lee Jones received a well-deserved Oscar nomination.
    The contrived characters and cinematography, especially the Tikrit combat sequences, seem all too familiar and, since Paramount's partner is MTV, the heavy metal/alt-pop/southern rock soundtrack can occasionally be overwhelming. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Stop-Loss" is grim, heart-wrenching 5, measuring the shameful human cost of the continuing escalation of the war.

Susan Granger's review of "Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns" (Lionsgate)

    Adapting another one of his stage plays, prolific writer/director Tyler Perry ("Diary of a Mad Black Woman," "Madea's Family Reunion," "Daddy's Little Girl," "Why Did I Get Married?") continues his exploration of the sense and sensibility of the African-American community.
   Brenda (Angela Bassett) is barely surviving as a single mother living in a Chicago housing project. And the future looks dim since factory she works at is closing. Perhaps that's why she agrees to attend the Easter weekend funeral of the father she never knew.
    Arriving in the small, rural Georgia town with her teenage son and two daughters, she meets the Browns: Leroy (David Mann), the malaprop-prone, leisure-suit clad buffoon of a deacon, and his hostile, hard-drinking sister Vera (Jennifer Lewis), along with staid Sarah (Margaret Avery), Cora (Tamela Mann) and L.B. (Frankie Faison) Even the grandmother Madea (Tyler Perry's alter ego) in a gratuitous cameo near the conclusion. Before that, however, Brenda's attention and affection is caught by Harry (Rick Fox), a former NBA star-turned-coach who, as the plot thickens, takes a much-needed paternal interest in her son, Michael (Lance Gross).
    Mired in melodrama, Tyler Perry dabbles in the temptations of drug dealing, morality, religion and, of course, humor. Although his dialogue is unwieldy, his slapstick pacing uneven, his characters basically caricatures, and his direction functional, considering the shrill performances, Perry's a crowd-pleaser. A victim of physical abuse as a child and a survivor of toiling for too many years in obscurity, Perry is determined to deliver his perennial message of perseverance: "Just keep praying."  And Angela Bassett can seemingly do no wrong. So on the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns" is a fun-loving 5, celebrating the possibility of second chances.

Susan Granger's review of "Drillbit Taylor" (Paramount Pictures)

    Combine the talents of engaging actor Owen Wilson ("Wedding Crashers," "Meet the Parents") with the comedy sense of producer Judd Apatow ("The 40 Year-Old Virgin," "Knocked Up," "Superbad") - and how bad can it be? Pretty bad.
    The story begins as three stereotypical, insecure dorks - skinny Ryan (Troy Gentile), tubby Wade (Nate Hartley) and tiny Emmit (David Dorfman) - start high school. They're pumped - until they're targeted by fearsome Filkins (Alex Frost), a vicious 18 year-old bully who makes their lives miserable. Complaints to the principal are dismissed, so their only means of survival comes from placing an Internet ad seeking protection.
    An AWOL Army vagrant living (and showering nude) on a Santa Monica beach, Drillbit Taylor (Owen Wilson), is the only one they can afford. Explaining, "I was discharged for unauthorized heroism," he figures he can scam them for a few hundred dollars - enough to buy him a ticket to Alaska - but his bumming buddies urge him to milk the gig for all its worth. Meanwhile, he forms an emotional attachment to the kids.
    The goofy "My Bodyguard" premise is appealing, but the execution is disjointed. Writers Kristofor Brown ("Undeclared") and Seth Rogen ("Superbad"), along with director Steven Brill ("Little Nicky"), fail to make either the characters or their actions plausible. Drillbit obviously has psychological problems which are not only never addressed but obliterated by his masquerade as a substitute teacher, "Dr. Illbit," attracting amorous moves from another teacher (Leslie Mann, Apatow's wife). The freshmen are obviously clever but are rarely given inventive solutions to their dilemma. And it's certainly not the fault of the hapless dudes who soldier on.
    On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Drillbit Taylor" is a flimsy, formulaic 4, offering only lame laughter.

Susan Granger's review of "Run, Fat Boy, Run" (Picturehouse)

    What has David Schwimmer - a.k.a. Dr. Ross Geller - been up to since the demise of TV's "Friends"? He's hopped across the pond to make his directorial debut with this relationship comedy.
    Commitment-phobic, emotionally immature Dennis Doyle (Simon Pegg from "Shaun of the Dead" and "Hot Fuzz") is a big-time loser. It's not that he's actually fat; pudgy would be more accurate. No, his sin is that he got cold feet and bolted, leaving his very pregnant fiancée Libby (Thandie Newton from "Crash") at the altar. Not a swift move.
    Five years later, he's living in the North London basement flat of an Indian widower, Mr. Ghoshdashtidar (Harish Patel), and poignantly participating in parenting their young son Jake (Matthew Festoon), hoping to win back Libby's affections. In the interim, Libby has become involved with Whit (Hank Azaria from "Dodgeball"), a wealthy, good-looking American hedge-fund trader - and Dennis' chances are growing dimmer daily.
    So - to prove his worth - Dennis, this chain-smoking, beer-swilling slob, decides to run a 26-mile charity marathon, to compete with Whit, as it were. At his side is his poker-playing mate, Gordon (Irish comedian Dylan Moran, also from "Shaun of the Dead"), who bets his savings on Dennis and becomes his coach, along with Mr. Ghoshdashtidar, who buys him splendid running shoes and paddles him with a spatula when he's lazy.
    Using conventional slapstick gags and inventive crosscutting, David Schwimmer makes the most of the somewhat innocuous, totally predictable, obscenity and profanity-laden, slacker script by Michael Ian Black ("Reno 911: Miami") and Simon Pegg, scoring as a creditable, if not memorable, director. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Run, Fat Boy, Run" trudges in with a mediocre 5. My advice is to wait for the video/dvd.

Susan Granger's review of "Under the Same Moon" (Focus Features/Weinstein)

    Evoking memories of "Cinema Paradiso," this engaging road movie traces parallel stories of a mother and son in Los Angeles and Mexico.
    After sneaking over the border, Rosario (Kate del Castillo) diligently works two house-cleaning jobs in Southern California, hoping that someday her nine year-old son, Carlitos (Adrian Alonso), can join her there. The highlight of her week is the ritual Sunday morning call which she makes to Carlitos from a payphone on an East Los Angeles street corner.
    Lonely Carlitos lives with his ailing grandmother (Angelina Pelaez) in Mexico. When the frail woman dies, Carlitos scoops up the money his mother has sent and sets out to find her. He's smuggled across the Texas border by students ("Ugly Betty" America Ferrera and Jesse Garcia) but loses his cash en route when their vehicle is impounded. That leaves him prey to a junkie who tries to sell him, presumably for child prostitution, but he's saved by a kind-hearted Latrina who hooks him up with a reluctant day laborer (Eugenio Derbetz) headed west. It's a long, difficult trip and all Carlitos has going for him is his irresistible sincerity, determination and ingenuity.
    Screenwriter Ligia Villabos and director Patricia Riggen tackle the thorny subject of illegal immigration with intelligence laced with humor - and velvet gloves. Young Adrian Alonso ("The Legend of Zorro") exudes natural charm, as does luminous Kate del Castillo ("Bordertown"), whose outwardly composed character is so desperate that she's tempted to marry a Mexican-American security guard (Gabriel Porras), just to get her green card.
    On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Under the Same Moon" is a timely, thoughtful 9. In Spanish with English subtitles, it's a gem - one of those rare films that truly touch your heart.

Susan Granger's review of "Doomsday" (Universal Pictures)

    There must be people who are drawn to action-packed, post-apocalyptic fantasies - because there are so many and, remarkably, most of them seem to make money. So here goes..
    In the 2008 prologue, a pandemic threatens to annihilate the human race. It begins in Scotland and, within days of detection, the virulent Reaper virus infects millions. The United Kingdom declares the entire country a "hot zone" and quarantines the populace with a 21st century version of Hadrian's Wall - with reinforced, steel ramparts and remote sentry guns.
    Skip ahead to 2035 and the Reaper re-appears - only, this time, it's in London. And the Brits discover that, miraculously, there are survivors in Glasgow. Somehow, they must have developed a cure. The Prime Minister (Alexander Siddig of "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine") summons the Security Chief (Bob Hoskins), who recruits Major Eden Sinclair (Rhona Mitra), a sexy eye-patch wearing Scot who was evacuated as a wee lass. She and her armed soldiers are to go into the "hot zone" to find a Dr. Kane (Malcolm McDowell) who was working on a counteragent. What they discover are crazed cannibals in a gruesome, graphic medieval netherworld straight out of "Mad Max."
   Writer/director Neil Marshall ("The Descent," "Dog Soldiers") shamelessly rips off elements from "28 Days Later," "Escape from New York," "The Road Warrior," "Resident Evil," and "I Am Legend," among others, giving you the eerie feeling that you've seen all this mayhem before. No doubt that's why it was not screened for critics before its initial release. It's also revealing that - in the production credits - the stuntmen and women outnumber the actors.
    On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Doomsday" is a disgusting, gore-filled 2 - with a conclusion that leaves the door ajar for a sequel.

Susan Granger's review of "College Road Trip" (Buena Vista - Disney)

    Maybe he read those recently alarming statistics - that one out of four teenage girls has a sexually transmitted disease - but there's this small-town Illinois police chief who is determined to protect his daughter's safety and security, no matter what.
    James Porter (Martin Lawrence) is a control-freak. There's no doubt about it.  So when his beloved 17 year-old daughter Melanie (Disney Channel star Raven-Symone) starts looking at colleges, he's determined that she attend nearby Northwestern, where he'll be able to keep an eye on her.
    But clever Mel has secretly applied to Georgetown University, which has exactly the pre-law curriculum she'd like. With a bit of help from her understanding mother (Kym E. Whitley), she's off to Washington, D.C. for an interview. But not alone. Dad is determined to drive her, and her little brother (Eshaya Draper) stows away in the police SUV's trunk, along with Albert, his squealing pet pig. Then there are Mel's best friends (Brenda Song, Margo Harshman), who meet them at a sorority house stopover. And, eventually, they wind up car-pooling with another father-daughter tandem - Doug (Donny Osmond) and Wendy (Molly Ephraim) - who cheerfully go the extra mile.
    Written by Emi Moschizuki & Carrie Evans (part of the Disney Writers' Program that encourages young talent), along with Cinco Paul & Ken Daurio and directed by Roger Kumble ("The Sweetest Thing"), it's a skimpy, G-rated TV episode that's been padded with silly slapstick to feature-film length. Mercifully, that's only 83 minutes long. And, for those who care, most of the academic exteriors were filmed at various prep schools and colleges in Connecticut. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 t 10, "College Road Trip" is a clumsy, arduous 4. Family-friendly doesn't have to mean dumbed-down.

Susan Granger's review of "The Counterfeiters" (Sony Pictures Classics)

    Winner of the Best Foreign-Language Film Academy Award, this is a true W.W.II drama that poses a provocative moral dilemma about Jewish collaboration with the Nazis.
    Salomon "Sally" Sorowitsch (Karl Markovics) is a Russian Jew who survived the Holocaust. Carrying a satchel bursting with bank notes, he's gambling recklessly in the casino in Monte Carlo. A flashback to 1936 reveals him as a master forger, specializing in documents of ancestry and passports.
    When he's arrested by Inspector Friedrich Herzog (David Streisow) in Berlin, he's dispatched to the Mauthausen concentration camp, where he curries favor with his captors with his graphic art. But when opportunistic Herzog becomes an SS officer at Sachsenhausen, he sends for Sully to join other papermakers, photographers and copper engravers in "Operation Bernhard," a plan to undermine the economies of the United States and Great Britain with a flood of counterfeit currency. Indeed, from 1942 to 1945, these privileged prisoners were housed separately, fed better and kept relatively healthy - and as a reward for successfully counterfeiting 134 million English pounds, they got a ping-pong table. Meanwhile, others are suffering.
    Austrian writer/director Stefan Ruzowitsky delves into the prisoners' various reactions to collusion - like Adolf Burger (August Diehl), an idealistic printer who wants to sabotage the operation. Burger believes that helping the Nazis is betraying the Jews.
    "I'd rather be gassed tomorrow than be shot for nothing today," Sally argues, reasoning, "A day's a day."
    What makes this movie worthwhile is its depiction of this struggle of conscience. What would you do in such a situation? Would you sacrifice another life to extend your own?
    In German with English subtitles, on the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "The Counterfeiters" is a compelling 9, chronicling the currency of desperation.

Susan Granger's review of "Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears a Who!" (Fox)

    Thanks to Blue Sky, the White Plains, New York- based, award-winning animation studio that rivals Pixar/Disney and DreamWorks, this feature-length adaptation of one of Theodore Geisel's most beloved tales is absolutely glorious family entertainment.
    "On the fifteenth of May, in jungle of Nool, in the heat of the day, in the cool of the pool, he was splashing.enjoying the jungle's great joys.When Horton the elephant heard a small noise," begins CBS' broadcaster Charles Osgood who, as narrator, makes the most of the playfully rhyming text.
    That 'noise' heard by Horton (voiced by Jim Carrey) turns out to be a faint cry for help emanating from a tiny speck of dust floating through the air. It seems that particle houses an entire city named Who-ville, inhabited by microscopic Whos, led by their Mayor (voiced by Steve Carrell). And they're in danger! So despite being ridiculed and threatened by doubters - Vlad the Eagle (voiced by Will Arnett) and Kangaroo (voiced by Carol Burnett) - Horton, on the advice of Morton the Mouse (voiced by Seth Rogen), is determined to save them - because "a person's a person, no matter how small."
    Directed by Jimmy Howard and Steve Martino, Blue Sky's computer animation captures Dr. Seuss' weird world, particularly the massive clover field in which sweetly sincere Horton must find the tiny speck.
    While Dr. Seuss is served better by animation than live-action ("How the Grinch Stole Christmas," "The Cat in the Hat"), the plot's really too thin so it's been gently padded with hip, G-rated slapstick comedy by Cinco Paul and Ken Daurio ("College Road Trip").
    On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears a Who!" is a wacky, wondrous 10 - bountiful fun for children of all ages.

Susan Granger's review of "10,000 B.C." (Warner Bros.)

    Evoking memories of "One Million Years B.C.," "Quest for Fire," "Clan of the Cave Bear," "Apocalypto" and the grand spectacles staged by early sci-fi maven Ray Harryhausen, this is an action adventure set in a prehistoric world.
    The story begins on a vast frozen tundra where the Yagahl tribe of dreadlock'd hunters pursues woolly mammoths. Their spiritual leader, Old Mother (Mona Hammond) predicts an ominous future, heralded by the arrival of a blue-eyed orphan girl, Evolet (Camilla Belle), and her subsequent capture - during a devastating raid of their tiny village - by 'four-legged demons' (slave traders on horseback).
    Determined to rescue Evolet and the others who have been taken captive, a hunky, love-smitten, outcast hunter, D'Leh (Steven Strait), takes off in pursuit, accompanied by his aging mentor, Tic Tic (Cliff Curtis), and a young boy, Baku (Nathaniel Baring). They trek over snowy mountains, sneak through a verdant valley filled with gigantic, clucking ostrich-like creatures, make friends with a saber tooth tiger and slog over sand dunes in a vast desert. Along the way, they encounter other bizarrely-costumed tribes that have been devastated by abductions by the slavers and, eventually, assemble a nomadic army. Under D'Leh's leadership, they follow the North Star and eventually discover a barbaric, pyramid-building civilization, where a climactic battle takes place.
    Satisfied with a banal plot, touching only vaguely on paleoanthropology, minimalist dialogue, delivered in stilted English, and rudimentary characterizations, writer/director Roland Emmerich ("Independence Day," "Godzilla," "The Day After Tomorrow") and co-writer/composer Harald Kloser rely on state-of-the-art computer technology and multiracial casting - and, unfortunately, Camilla Belle is no Raquel Welch. 
    On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "10,000 B.C." is a formulaic 5. It's a guilty pleasure for those who enjoy watching stampeding herds of mastodons.

Susan Granger's review of "The Other Boleyn Girl" (Columbia Pictures/Focus Features)

    It's not really fair to compare a film adaptation with its novel source. While a novel can sprawl over hundreds of pages, a movie generally wraps in about two hours. But this dull mediocrity is an insult to Philippa Gregory's historical concept of the two rival sisters who both bedded England's King Henry VIII.
    When Henry's first wife, Catherine of Aragon (Ana Torrent), was unable to bear him a heir, the King's (Eric Bana) attention was drawn to the nubile daughters of Sir Thomas Boleyn (Mark Rylance) and his wife (Kristin Scott Thomas). Feisty, flirtatious Anne (Natalie Portman) was the obvious choice since she was the elder and, besides, her younger sister Mary (Scarlett Johanson) was already married to a local merchant. But Henry preferred dutiful Mary, dispatching her to serve as his Queen's lady-in-waiting. Soon Mary became pregnant but her child, alas, was a bastard. Then Anne, having returned from exile in the French court, caught his eye. But she held out for marriage. So Henry Tudor divorced Catherine, abandoned Mary, ditched Roman Catholicism and started his own Church of England. Eventually, Anne had a daughter - who became Elizabeth I - but Anne was beheaded so that Henry could marry Jane Seymour.
    Good story, eh? Not the way that screenwriter Peter Morgan ("The Queen") and former TV director Justin Chadwick present it. Underwritten to the point of sketchiness, you need to understand British history for any of it to make much sense. Neither sensual nor sexy, Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johanson seem to be groping for subtlety in their characterizations - while Eric Bana just gropes. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "The Other Boleyn Girl" is a clumsy, clunky 4, totally lacking in passion and cohesion.

Susan Granger's review of "Vantage Point" (Sony Pictures Entertainment)

    This terrorism thriller has a terrific premise but fizzles into a forgettable formula.
    In Salamanca, Spain, global leaders have gathered for an important World Summit Against Terrorism. At a midday rally in the city's crowded Plaza Mejor, just as the President of the United States (William Hurt) is about to speak, he is shot by an assassin. Then a bomb goes off, reducing the government building behind him to rubble, as a TV news producer (Sigourney Weaver) and her crew watch, horrified by what's unfolding in front of them.
    This incident is repeated again and again, each time from a different person's point-of-view, much like Kurosawa's concept in his classic "Rashomon."
    There's the perspective of Thomas Barnes (Dennis Quaid), an understandably edgy, veteran Secret Service agent who, a year ago, took a bullet to save his Commander-in-Chief's life. At his side is his colleague, Agent Taylor (Matthew Fox), who has another angle, as does a plainclothes Spanish cop (Eduardo Noriega) and an observant American tourist (Forest Whitaker) who chronicles everything on his camcorder.   
    Although screenwriter Barry L. Levy and director Peter Travis add a fillip of new information, a tantalizing clue, with each retelling, tedium soon sets in, along with growing disbelief. Quick cuts and throbbing music punctuate the seemingly indestructible Barnes' pursuit of the culprit. The climactic chase is ludicrous, as a multitude of characters careen through crowds, dodge bullets and crash cars - as the body count mounts. Obviously, there's a dastardly conspiracy but the motive behind this complex exercise in lunacy is never revealed. So there's no emotionally satisfactory payoff - and far too many loose ends.
    On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Vantage Point" is a suspenseful 6 but it's all too far-fetched to matter much.

Susan Granger's review of "The Band's Visit" (Sony Pictures Classics)

    The best news out of the Middle East so far this year is this fresh, funny, engaging take on cross-cultural miscommunication.
    The Alexandria Ceremonial Police Orchestra has been invited to play at the Arab Cultural Center in Israel. It's an important assignment since budget cuts and internal reorganization have threatened the Egyptian musicians' very existence.
    Dressed in crisp, powder-blue uniforms and observing full military police protocol, they arrive at the Tel Aviv airport with no one to greet them. Unable to contact their Israeli hosts or the Egyptian consulate for help, they board a bus that's, ostensibly, bound for their destination but, instead, wind up on the barren outskirts of a tiny desert town.
    Faced with seven hungry, bewildered men, the stoic orchestra leader, Tewfiq (Sasson Gabai) seeks help from Dina (Ronit Elkabetz), the proprietor of a small cafe. Realizing their plight and the fact that the next bus won't come until the following day, she not only feeds them but arranges for Tewfiq and his men to stay overnight with her and some of her less-than-hospitable friends. Inevitably, the evening leads to some curious confusion, a bit of chaos and a large measure of compassion - on both sides.
    Israeli writer/director Eran Kolirin's shrewdly imagined characters, full of resonant human feeling, propel the subtle, wryly comedic story. Sultry Ronit Elkabetz, sizzling with sexuality, and Sasson Gabai, poignant as the uptight widower, make an unlikely duo, but the best scene involves ladies' man Haled's (Saleh Bakri) gently picaresque encounter in a roller-skating rink.
    On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "The Band's Visit" is a droll, charming 9. It's a shame that a technicality - there is English, as well as Hebrew and Arabic - disqualified it from Oscar contention.

Susan Granger's review of "Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day" (Focus Features)

    The 1930s and '40s were the heyday of Hollywood's screwball romantic comedies and now, for a brief, fleeting moment, that charming, irresistible nonsense has returned.
    In 1939 in London, middle-aged Miss Guinevere Pettigrew (Frances McDormand) is summarily fired from yet another governess position, a profession for which she is obviously not well suited. Downtrodden and desperate, she swipes an employment agency reference and presents herself as a 'social secretary' to an American actress/cabaret singer, Delysia Lafosse (Amy Adams), whose hectic, chaotic life is in need of the kind of order and common sense that Miss Pettigrew dispenses with gallant aplomb. And, while untangling Delysia's frivolous web of deceit and deception, Miss Pettigrew seizes the exhilarating opportunity to forge a future for herself that she never dreamed possible.
    The screenplay by Simon Beaufoy and David Magee - evolving over a 24-hour period - was based on Winifred Watson's scandalous novel which - back in 1938 - glorified sexually liberated women flouting convention and class distinction. Recently rediscovered by Persephone Books, London's Daily Mail cited the book's Cinderella-like message "that everyone, no matter how poor or prim or neglected, has a second chance to blossom in the world."
    Frances McDormand ("Fargo") merges her down-to-earth intensity with Amy Adams' ("Enchanted") recklessness impatience, as they share a mutual, unconquerable hopefulness. Reduced to stereotypes by director Bharat Nalluri ("Tsunami: The Aftermath"), the men (Lee Pace, Ciaran Hinds, Tom Payne, Mark Strong) fare less well, as their giddy fun becomes very deliberate very quickly, their hijinks emerging as complacent, rather than adventurous or daring. Nevertheless, on the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day" is a stylish, sparkly 7. Amid the dark, dreary dirges on the screen, it's wonderfulness on a rampage.

Susan Granger's review of "Charlie Bartlett" (MGM)

    Mix the rebellion of "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" with a bit of "Igby Goes Down" and a touch of "Rushmore" and you come up with this cautionary coming-of-age tale about teens' recreational use of prescription medications and the necessity of parental involvement.
    Kicked out of his very last prep school - this time for a scheme to sell nearly flawless fake IDs - rich kid Charlie Bartlett (Anton Yelchin) must enroll in a public high school. After enduring the ritual newbie hazing, confidently optimistic Charlie becomes partners with the class bully (Tyler Hilton), becoming the alienated, overly-pressured student body's underground psychiatrist, dispensing not only counseling but also mood-altering pills (Ritalin, Zoloft, Wellbutrin, Xanax, Prozac, etc.) from a make-shift office in the boys' bathroom. These pharmaceuticals are made available by gullible psychiatrists kept on retainer by Charlie's exasperated, ineffectual mother (Hope Davis).
    Charlie soon becomes enamored of Susan (Kat Dennings), daughter of Principal Gardner (Robert Downey Jr.), whose transfer from iconoclastic history teacher to paper-pushing bureaucrat under pressure from the superintendent drove him to drink. While their relationship ripens, there are subplots including a suicidal reject (Mark Rendall) and a promiscuous cheerleader (Megan Park) with self-esteem issues.
    Making their feature film debuts, screenwriter Gustin Nash and director Jon Poll go for high spirited exuberance over cynicism. With his gift for timing, disarming Anton Yelchin ("Alpha Dog") lobs volleys over the heads of the grown-ups; he's charming, sly, vulnerable and wholly sympathetic. Downey and Davis epitomize the frailty and disillusionment that - all too often - comes with age. And the climactic face-off between Yelchin and Downey cannot help but evoke undercurrents of Downey's own drug-riddled past. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Charlie Bartlett" is a refreshingly clever 8. It's tart, smart and fun.

Susan Granger's review of "Penelope" (Stone Village Productions)

    Giving a gender tweak to "Beauty and the Beast," this is a contemporary fable about a princess who is cursed with a pig snout.
    Many years ago, a heartless Wilhern aristocrat impregnated a young serving girl. Her mother, a witch, gave the family a curse that the next female child would be born with a deformity - a pig's snout - that will only disappear when one of her own blue-blooded kind loves her. For generations, there were only sons - until Penelope (Christina Ricci).
    When she was born, sleazy tabloid journalists, like Lemon (Peter Dinklage), so hounded the family that her overly protective parents (Catherine O'Hara, Richard E. Grant) faked her death. Sweet-natured porcine Penelope grew up sheltered in an attic bedroom, surrounded by toys. But now she's of age - and a proper socialite suitor must be found.
    One cad (Simon Woods), who escapes before he signs the required confidentiality agreement, babbles about the Miss Piggy encounter which alerts Lemon that Penelope Wilhern is still alive. Together they connive to hire Max (James McAvoy) to pose as a prospective husband and snap a photograph. But while clueless Max is charmed by her, he cannot propose, so Penelope flees into the outside world where she's befriended by a bike courier, Annie (Reese Witherspoon, also executive producer), and, eventually, decides to go public.
    Written by Leslie Caveny and directed by first-time filmmaker Mark Palansky, it's a whimsical romance. Shedding her usual caustic persona, Christina Ricci cleverly embodies the plucky heroine and Peter Dinklage proves, once again, why he's one of the best character actors on the screen today. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Penelope" is a plucky 7, as the ugly-duckling fantasy morphs into a satiric take on celebrity culture.

Susan Granger's review of "In Bruges" (Focus Features)

    If you haven't had your fill of senseless, bloody violence, here's another dose of swearing and shooting blarney. Following in the sprockets of Quentin Tarantino's "Pulp Fiction," it's the story of two morally conflicted Irish gangsters from London.
    "After I killed him," hot-tempered Ray (Colin Farrell) explains in the introduction, "I dropped the gun in the Thames, washed the residue off my hands in the bathroom of a Burger King, and went home to await instructions."
    He's told to go to the Flemish town of Bruges in Belgium with his older partner Ken (Brendan Gleeson) and await further instructions from their boss Harry (Ralph Fiennes).
    While Ken would just like to go sightseeing in the cobblestone streets of medieval Bruges, Ray is miserably remorseful about accidentally killing an innocent youngster while assassinating a priest in his confessional - an emotion he acts out by 1) attempting suicide, 2) beating up a Canadian tourist, 3) chasing a prostitute (Clemence Poesy), arousing the ire of her pimp (Jeremie Renier), and 4) obsessing about a surly, racist dwarf (Jordan Prentice) who's filming a surreal Dutch art movie there. This infuriates homicidal Harry, who has ordered Ken to kill Ray - and is forced to interrupt his Christmas holiday plans to do it himself.
    Irish playwright and first-time feature-film writer/director Martin McDonaugh blithely skips from one hackneyed, un-funny vignette to another, punctuated by repetitive, often incoherent dialogue, as one actor reiterates what another has just said. Plus, McDonaugh has a quirky penchant for red, as in blood, as those who saw "The Lieutenant of Inishmore" on Broadway can attest. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "In Bruges" is an offbeat, off-putting 5 - unless you're really heavily into "guilt and sins and hell and all that."

Susan Granger's review of "Definitely, Maybe" (Universal Pictures)

    Making a contemporary romantic comedy isn't easy but this one delivers an enjoyably romantic whodunit, just in time for Valentine's Day weekend.
    Will Hayes (Ryan Reynolds) is a 30-something Manhattan dad in the midst of an impending divorce when his precocious10 year-old daughter Maya (Abigail Breslin) returns from a sex education class demanding to know how her parents met and fell in love. That leads Will to tell her about his relationships with three important women in his life, changing the names so she has to guess which of them he married.
    "It's like a love story/mystery," Maya burbles with endearing curiosity.
    Is it Emily (Elizabeth Banks), his college sweetheart; Summer (Rachel Weisz), an ambitious, bohemian journalist; or April (Isla Fisher), his frazzled, free-spirited best friend?
    Writer/director Adam Brooks ("Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason," "Wimbledon," "French Kiss") obviously understands that romantic relationships don't end, they change; that's inherent for the believability quotient. Too bad producers Tim Bevan and Eric Fellner ("Four Wedding and a Funeral," "Notting Hill") didn't insist on some judicious pruning because the less-than-sparkling banter runs on too long.
    As a leading man, likeable Ryan Reynolds ("Van Wilder," "Smokin' Aces") may be a bit on the bland side, but Abigail Breslin is as audacious and entrancing as she was in "Little Miss Sunshine." And while identifying who wound up as her 'mom' becomes obvious, it's helpful that Abigail could actually be the daughter of any of the three actresses. Derek Luke, as Will's buddy/partner, scores as a comic foil, as does Kevin Kline as a political analyst with a penchant for younger women.
    On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Definitely, Maybe" is a soulful, sweet-natured 7, proving that living "happily ever after" isn't quite so easy.

Susan Granger's review of "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" (Miramax)

    When Jean-Dominique Bauby, editor-in-chief of Elle France magazine, suffered a stroke at age 43, he was left almost entirely paralyzed, yet he dictated a best-selling memoir, communicating with his caregivers by blinking his left eyelid.
    While coming to terms with his own father's death, painter-turned-filmmaker Julian Schnabel ("Before Night Falls," "Basquiat") became intrigued by Ronald Harwood's screenplay about Bauby's suffering - and he's brought it to the screen in a most unusual way, casting a French actor (Mathieu Amalric), instead of Johnny Depp who was first signed, and persuading the Normandy hospital where Bauby had been confined to allow the production to film there.
    Except for kaleidoscopic flashbacks, it's narrated entirely from Bauby's "locked in" perspective with Oscar-winning cinematographer Janusz Kaminski ("Schindler's List," "Saving Private Ryan") utilizing a special lens with a shock absorber that makes his vision seem a bit out of focus.
    As his story begins, there's inevitable confusion and self-pity as Bauby realizes his condition, yet he's soon cooperating with his tireless attendants (Marie-Josee Croze, Olatz Lopez Garmendia, Anne Consigny) who devise the painstaking pattern whereby he blinks at letters of the alphabet in order to form words, then sentences. Bauby's wife Celine (Emmanuelle Seigner), whom he'd abandoned with their children for another woman, devotedly visits, while his mistress balks; there's also a poignant scene with his elderly father (Max von Sydow).
    The title derives from Bauby's nightmarish description of himself confined in a deep-sea diving bell; only his fertile imagination and intriguing, often amusing memories allow him to soar like a butterfly.
   On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" is a stylistically engrossing, compassionate 9. In French with English subtitles, it's a testament to the indomitable human spirit.

Susan Granger's review of "Untraceable" (Screen Gems)

    There's a serial killer on the loose in rain-drenched Portland, Oregon, a predator who tortures his prey on-camera, ramping the grisly, graphic violence with every gawker who clicks on his website to observe what's happening. A counter reveals the accelerating number of hits as each new agony is unveiled.
    One woman is hung, upside-down, from the ceiling and gradually lowered over sharp, rotating blades. A man is trapped inside a tank of water into which sulfuric acid is slowly dropped. When there's a predetermined amount of Internet voyeurs, the victim - animal or human - is killed in front of millions of viewers.
    FBI Special Agent Jennifer Marsh (Diane Lane) is a struggling, widowed single mother working in the cybercrimes division, along with her nerdy young partner, Griffin Dowd (Colin Hanks).  Marsh is horrified by the streaming videos on killwithme.com, but this tech-savvy psychopath is virtually untraceable. And when she finally realizes that the anonymous stalker is striking too close to home, she gets help from her supportive mother (Mary Beth Hurt) and a Portland police detective, Eric Box (Billy Burke).
    Written by Robert Fyvolent, Mark R. Brinker and Alison Burnett, directed by Gregory Hoblit ("Fracture," "Primal Fear") and photographed by Anastas Michos, it's a formulaic, melodramatic, ultimately improbable cyber-thriller.
    Don't blame the actors. Diane Lane is convincingly conflicted, torn between work and family, and Colin Hanks - Tom's son - acquits himself admirably, looking for love in cyberspace.
    On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Untraceable" is a geeky, gruesome, repugnant 3. The moral - we're told - is that the acting of choosing to watch makes us accessories to the crime; without an audience, presumably, there would be no murder. And without an audience, this disturbing police procedural should move quickly to the video store.

Susan Granger's review of "Over Her Dead Body" (New Line Cinema)

    Don't believe the advertising: this is not a romantic comedy. There's little that's endearing and the laughs are scarce.
    The fantasy begins as shrewish Kate (Eva Longoria Parker) and smirking Henry (Paul Rudd), a veterinarian, are about to get married in sunny Long Beach, California. But hours before the wedding, when a massive ice sculpture of a wingless angel falls and crushes her, the bridezilla is dead. By the time Kate gets her spirit act together in the all-white afterlife, it's a year later. Once grief-stricken Henry is now attracted to Ashley (Lake Bell), a scatter-brained psychic/caterer who has been hired by Henry's kooky sister, Chloe (Lindsay Sloane), to convince him he should get over his depression and "move on." Perhaps start dating again. Jealous Kate doesn't like this turn of events one little bit and decides to scare Ashley away. To add to the ghostly frivolity, there's Ashley's gay catering assistant, Dan (Jason Biggs). Yada, yada.
    While Jeff Lowell is credited with writing "John Tucker Must Die," this is his first attempt at directing - and it shows. His helming is not incompetent but it is inept, and his shamelessly derivative, sit-com script is filled with blandly idiotic, generic, one-dimensional characters and frothy, cinematic clichés, like the climactic rush to the airport with a possessed talking parrot.
    Making a miniscule jump from her cloying "Desperate Housewives" character, curvaceous Eva Longoria Parker, who has adopted her NBA star husband's surname, is a force to be reckoned with. Yet Lake Bell from TV's "Boston Legal" gamely steals the picture right out from under Parker's tiny, turned-up nose. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Over Her Dead Body" is a silly, campy, tepid 3. No hearts 'n' flowers here.

Susan Granger's review of "Rambo" (Lionsgate)

    Sylvester Stallone's claim to fame is the iconic characters of "Rocky" and "Rambo," and he doesn't tire of recycling both of them.
    "When you're pushed, killin' is as easy as breathin'," growls ex-Green Beret John Rambo, who's been living as a recluse in northern Thailand, where he runs a motor boat and wrangles poisonous snakes on the Salween River near the Burma border, where a long-running civil war still rages. Maybe he has clandestine meetings with Capt. Willard from "Apocalypse Now." Who knows?
    Then a group of Colorado human rights missionaries wamts to rent his boat to transport medical supplies and Bibles upriver to struggling Karen villagers; the Burmese military has strewn landmines along the roads.
    "Are you taking guns?" Rambo inquires. Of course not! "Then you'll change nothing."
    Rambo turns them down, but the group's only woman, Sarah (Julie Benz of "Dexter"), convinces him to change his mind.
    Yet after he drops them off at their destination, they're ambushed and taken prisoner by sadistic Burmese soldiers. Of course, the church's pastor (Ken Howard) relies on Rambo to execute a rescue mission. Reluctantly, the bandana-wearing renegade rounds up a squad of nasty mercenaries - and then the loud, violent, relentless carnage begins, taking the R-rating to its utmost, stupefying limits.
    Claiming that he devised this fourth installment with geopolitical relevance - namely, to draw attention to the need for aid in war-torn Burma (Myanmar) - writer/director/actor Stallone has clearly made a vanity project. He's even included a flashback sequence for those who managed to miss his first three Rambo excursions; seeing Richard Crenna again was an unexpected bonus.
    While Stallone's beefcake is a brawny testament to steroids, on the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Rambo" is a graphic, blood-drenched 2. Stay out of the jungle!

Susan Granger's review of "Meet the Spartans" (20th Century-Fox)

    Slapstick spoofs don't get worse than this wretched, "300"-inspired, extended skit from writers/directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, whose previous parodies include "Date Movie" and "Epic Movie."
    Back in ancient Greece, the brave warrior/king Leonidas was trained as a sturdy, stoic Spartan, so when the invading Persian hoards threatened the sovereignty of his city-state, he left his wife and gathered an army of 300 loyal soldiers to face mighty Xerxes in a heroic battle to the death.
    In this campy version, muscle-bound Leonidas (Sean Maguire), wearing only leather underpants, is gay, as is his hunky aide-de-camp (Kevin Sorbo). As is their custom, the scantily-clad men greet each other with a deep kiss, while the women get a smacking "high-five." So despite the seductive efforts of Queen Margo (Carmen Electra), the frolicking fellows - along with 13 faithful followers - skip off to a battle at the "Hot Gates." Hidden in their midst is the villainous Traitoro (Diedrich Bader), whose deeds serve his name, and their enemy is hideously obese Xerxes (Ken Davitian from "Borat"), whose nipple clamps keep coming off.   
    Friedberg and Seltzer not only skewer homosexuals; in addition, their ancillary targets include "Brangelina," Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and the jury for "American Idol" - with parodies of "Ghost Rider," "Happy Feet," "Transformers," even "Deal or No Deal." Not to mention obvious product placements for Coke and Dentyne Ice, among others.
    Actually, if you want to see a free, far-better satire on the same subject, go to YouTube and find the "United 300" spoof.
    On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Meet the Spartans" is a witlessly crude, vulgar 1. It's not too early to begin a Worst Movies of 2008 list - and this is the first entry. Be warned.

Susan Granger's review of "27 Dresses" (20th Century Fox)

    Psst! Wanna sneak off to an old-fashioned chick flick?
    Jane (Katherine Heigl) is a serial bridesmaid. One night, she's even double-booked, shuttling by taxi between one wedding in midtown Manhattan and another in Brooklyn. Without doubt, self-effacing Jane is the most efficient, accommodating friend in the world, always putting others' needs before her own, particularly her clueless boss, George (Edward Burns), on whom she has a secret crush.
    But Jane's put to the test when her spoiled, self-indulgent, seductive sister, Tess (Malin Akerman), breezes into town and steals not only George's affections but also their mother's wedding gown. Skulking in the background is a cynical newspaper reporter (James Marsden) on the wedding beat. He loathes his job and figures that a story on Jane's nuptial fixation would make a great front-page feature for his section, adorned with photos of her in all of the garish bridesmaids' outfits that she has squashed in her closet.
    Katherine Heigl successfully springs once again to the big screen from TV's "Grey's Anatomy," having ventured before in "Knocked Up," and Judy Greer's terrific as her tough-talking best-friend. Curiously, in both of her recent big-screen outings Heigl has chosen to play a character whose demeanor totally changes when she gets drunk at a local bar.
    So why is this romantic comedy old-fashioned? Because the underlying message is that, basically, a woman's life is meaningless without marriage.
    Nevertheless, screenwriter Aline Brosh McKenna ("The Devil Wears Prada") and choreographer-turned-director Anne Fletcher ("Step Up") create a funny screwball farce, mocking the fashion police and brazenly "borrowing" from better wedding-themed movies. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "27 Dresses" is an amusing 7, a fluffy, frivolous indulgence for those of us who still enjoy the occasional wedding fantasy.

Susan Granger's review of "Cloverfield" (Paramount Pictures)

    Using the Internet to arouse anticipation and then delivering a genuine sci-fi/horror/monster movie has proven to be a winning formula for "Alias" and "Lost" producer J.J.Abrams and director Matt Reeves.
    As viewed from the lens of a spectator's video camera, the story begins with a budding romance between twentysomethings Rob (Michael Stahl-David) and Beth (Odette Yustman) on a date in Coney Island. Then Rob is leaving for Japan, so his brother Jason (Mike Vogel) and Jason's girl-friend Lily (Jessica Lucas) throw him a surprise party in SoHo. Rob's best friend, Hud (T.J. Miller), has been assigned to camcorder duty, and Hud's love interest is Marlena (Lizzy Caplan).
    Suddenly, Manhattan is under attack by some giant creature and its parasites that emerge from the harbor - and the Statue of Liberty is decapitated. Amid the chaos, Rob's cellphone rings; Beth is trapped in her father's midtown apartment. Rob's determined to rescue her with his partying pals trotting along behind. Meanwhile, the military has been summoned and everyone is in a state of panic. Although it's never mentioned, apparently "Cloverfield" is the Department of Defense designation for the monster's elimination.
    Borrowing visceral elements from "The Blair Witch Project," "Godzilla" and newsreel footage from 9/11, Abrams and Reeves work with writer Drew Goddard, cinematographer Michael Bonvillain, production designer Martin Whist, visual effects supervisor Phil Tippett and editor Kevit Stitt to create some scary, horrific moments, made all the more immediate and unsettling by the jiggly, hand-held camerawork which may induce nausea in those prone to motion-sickness.
    On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Cloverfield" is a crudely naturalistic, yet innovative, effective 8. It's already so successful that Hasbro is accepting orders for a 14" collectible monster with parasites to be shipped by September 30, 2008.

Susan Granger's review of "Sharkwater" (Sharkwater Productions)

    There's more to sharks than "Jaws." In fact, according to Toronto marine biologist and underwater photographer Rob Stewart, sharks aren't at all the vicious man-killers we've been led to believe.
    But they are predators - at the top of the marine food chain - and they're facing extinction which may have dire consequences on the ecosystem.
    In the past 30 years, the shark population has been depleted by 90%, primarily due to Asian consumers' demand for shark-fin soup. For this $300-a-pound delicacy, fisherman utilize a long-line, stretching over miles of open ocean, to hook the sharks, then hack off their fins and heave them back in the water to die. While this gruesome poaching practice, known as 'finning,' is illegal in many countries, the laws are rarely enforced.
    When Stewart boarded a trawler belonging to the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society, a Greenpeace-like group led by activist Paul Watson, he experienced first-hand the frustration of dealing with illegal shark harvesting off Costa Rica's coastline, uncovering a collaboration between that country's government and Chinese crime syndicates..
    But most memorable are Stewart's vivid aquatic exploits, particularly awe-inspiring glimpses of hammerheads and tiger sharks congregating in the tepid waters off the Galapagos Islands. Stewart, literally, swims with sharks, even caressing them, and emerging unscathed. To him, they're timid, curious creatures who've gotten a bad rep. He asserts that sharks bite, on average, five people a year, whereas elephants kill close to 100 and automobiles claim thousands of lives.
    Unfortunately, this cautionary environmental documentary goes flaccid when Stewart is hospitalized with a blood infection and his self-centered, monotone narrative grows repetitious. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "Sharkwater" is a stunning 7. During the time it takes to watch it, Stewart says, 15,000 sharks will be killed.

Susan Granger's review of "4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days" (IFC Films)

    Winner of the Palme d'Or at the 2007 Cannes Film Festival, this is a bleak, low-key, intimate glimpse into the emotional wretchedness of a woman's life in 1987 during the final days of the communist Ceausescu regime in Romania when abortions were illegal.
    College roommates Gabita (Laura Vasiliu) and Otilia (Anamaria Marinca) face a major dilemma. Gabita's pregnant and Otilia's agreed to accompany her to have an abortion. But irresponsible Gabita's jangled nerves require pragmatic Otilia to make most of the arrangements, including buying soap, bartering money and bargaining on the black market for cigarettes. Problem is: Gabita's not entirely honest about how far along her pregnancy is - and what will be required to convince the bullying black market abortionist, Mr. Bebe (Vlad Ivanov), to do the job.
    Suspense heightens with Mr. Bebe's blunt retribution after discovering that Gabita has not followed his precise instructions and Otilia's reluctant departure to attend her boy-friend's mother's birthday party. In that tedious dinner party scene, mindless chatter ironically camouflages Otilia's simmering inner drama.
    Devoted to realism as part of the Romanian New Wave, filmmaker Christian Mungiu shoots each scene in one take with Oleg Mutu's camera capturing characters as they pass in and out of the frame, along with details like a bus that runs on bomb-like gas cylinders.
    What's most remarkable is the splendid ensemble. Devoid of histrionics, the actors explore their characters softly, yet with chilling authenticity, particularly Anamaria Marinca ("Youth Without Youth"), whose silences speak volumes.
    On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days" is a grim, harrowing 8. After the fall of communism in 1989, one of the first measures taken in Romania was to legalize abortion again.

Susan Granger's review of "The Band's Visit" (Sony Pictures Classics)

    The best news out of the Middle East so far this year is this fresh, funny, engaging take on cross-cultural miscommunication.
    The Alexandria Ceremonial Police Orchestra has been invited to play at the Arab Cultural Center in Israel. It's an important assignment since budget cuts and internal reorganization have threatened the Egyptian musicians' very existence.
    Dressed in crisp, powder-blue uniforms and observing full military police protocol, they arrive at the Tel Aviv airport with no one to greet them. Unable to contact their Israeli hosts or the Egyptian consulate for help, they board a bus that's, ostensibly, bound for their destination but, instead, wind up on the barren outskirts of a tiny desert town.
    Faced with seven hungry, bewildered men, the stoic orchestra leader, Tewfiq (Sasson Gabai) seeks help from Dina (Ronit Elkabetz), the proprietor of a small cafe. Realizing their plight and the fact that the next bus won't come until the following day, she not only feeds them but arranges for Tewfiq and his men to stay overnight with her and some of her less-than-hospitable friends. Inevitably, the evening leads to some curious confusion, a bit of chaos and a large measure of compassion - on both sides.
    Israeli writer/director Eran Kolirin's shrewdly imagined characters, full of resonant human feeling, propel the subtle, wryly comedic story. Sultry Ronit Elkabetz, sizzling with sexuality, and Sasson Gabai, poignant as the uptight widower, make an unlikely duo, but the best scene involves ladies' man Haled's (Saleh Bakri) gently picaresque encounter in a roller-skating rink.
    On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "The Band's Visit" is a droll, charming 9. It's a shame that a technicality - there is English, as well as Hebrew and Arabic - disqualified it from Oscar contention.