Movie/TV Reviews

The Perfect Man

Susan Granger’s review of “The Perfect Man” (Universal)

This romantic comedy reaches out to touch both the adult and teen audience. Produced by her mother/manager Susan Duff, it’s primarily a vehicle to propel the career of Hilary Duff, who has graduated from adorable “Lizzie McGuire” to “A Cinderella Story” and, more recently, joined the other ubiquitous teen pop princesses with her debut album “Metamorphosis.” Holly (that’s Hilary) has a younger sister (Aria Wallace) and a devoted single mother (Heather Locklear) who loves to bake and decorate fancy cakes. Problem is: mom’s a serial monogamist who desperately latches onto one loser after another and moves to a different place to start life anew after each romantic disaster. When they land in a glossy, glamorized version of Brooklyn, Holly decides she definitely wants to stay and plays matchmaker, inventing the titular “perfect man,” a secret admirer, with the help of her chum (Vanessa Lengies), whose bachelor/bistro owner uncle (Chris Noth) unwittingly provides them with the tantalizing courtship clues that they need, and school buddy (Ben Feldman) who lends his computer for the e-mail charade. Holly’s deception is emphasized by the Sir Walter Scott quotation that her English teacher notes on the blackboard: “Oh what a tangled web we weave,/when first we practice to deceive.” Written by Gina Wendkos, based on a story by Michael McQuown, and directed by Mark Rosman, the script is obvious, formulaic, clichŽ-driven. The acting? Bland and boring – except for Carson Kressley as an over-the-top gay bartender and Mike O’Malley as mom’s latest Styx-loving and totally unsuitable suitor. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “The Perfect Man” is a silly, lame 3. It’s about as garish as one of mom’s sugary confections.

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Herbie Fully Loaded

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Herbie Fully Loaded” (Disney)

Back in 1968, there was “The Love Bug.” Now, that beloved classic VW Beetle has been overhauled and updated, given a contemporary family and legions of fresh, juvenile fans. Maggie Peyton (Lindsay Lohan) is the daughter of racing team owner Ray Peyton (Michael Keaton). Her family has been involved with NASCAR for three generations but her brother, Ray Jr. (Breckin Meyer) just hasn’t measured up on the track. As a college graduation gift, Maggie goes to a junkyard to select an old car to fix up and use for errands. For $75, she acquires Herbie, who immediately steers her to a repair shop, where Kevin (Justin Long), an amiable mechanic, recognizes the car’s potential. Refurbished and revived, resilient Herbie then drives Maggie into the middle of a racing challenge with arrogant, egotistical Trip Murphy (Matt Dillon), where the shiny, sleek bug proves his feisty superiority. And so the underdog, checkered-flag plot unfolds. Director Angela Robinson (“D.E.B.S.”) – with the help of four credited screenwriters – realizes that Herbie is the star and driving force; thanks to Disney digital effects and split screens, he doesn’t disappoint. Humble Herbie, who has a mind of his own, wears a smile on his front bumper, his headlights wink and his doors forcefully nudge when necessary. Looking far healthier than her newly blonded, anorexic tabloid persona, teen queen Lindsay Lohan is appropriately exuberant, while the rest of the cast performs as pleasantly as the script dictates. And an astounding amount of product placement is musically punctuated by rock standards. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Herbie Fully Loaded” zooms in with an amusing, sweet 7, providing a new generation of children with lots of fun watching this anthropomorphic auto.

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Land of the Dead

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Land of the Dead” (Universal Pictures)

By the title and the fact that it’s writer/director George A. Romero’s picture, you know the zombies are ba-a-a-ck in another allegory. And let’s put the emphasis on the hardcore “gory.” By this time, legions of the walking dead have roamed and claimed most of the world except for Fiddler’s Green, a luxurious, locked-up-tight urban tower that’s run as refuge for the wealthy by a scheming, sadistic tycoon, Kaufman (Dennis Hopper). Meanwhile, his mercenaries, led by Riley (Simon Baker) and Cholo (John Leguizamo), scavenge for supplies from the shelves of abandoned stores – and rescue a hooker (Asia Argentino) from a gladiator cage. But then the a new zombie leader arises in the form of “Big Daddy” (Eugene Clark). And the conflict escalates. George A. Romero has been acknowledged as the godfather of the modern horror film; this is the fourth in what was originally a trilogy, beginning in 1968 with the low-budget “Night of the Living Dead.” And his sociopolitical subtext keys directly into the contemporary dilemma of terrorism. Those who dwell in Fiddler’s Green try to ignore the obvious threat of the “walkers,” as they call the zombies, and other creepy problems that fester outside of their protected enclave. Kaufman claims, “We don’t negotiate with terrorists,” right after he comments, “In a world where the dead are returning to life, ‘trouble’ loses much of its meaning.” Insofar as the decaying flesh goes, special effects makeup artists Greg Nicotero and Howard Berger excel. The stiff, skeletal “walkers” are quite hideous. Through the use of contact lenses, their red-rimmed eyes appear lifeless and, via prostheses, their teeth are rotting. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Land of the Dead” is a post-apocalyptic 7. Dread the undead!

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Yes

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Yes” (Sony Pictures Classics release)

Designed for those who relish unusual, experimental works, Sally Potter’s “Yes” is – perhaps – the only film with dialogue in iambic pentameter. Rhyme is the big gimmick here, not reason. The story centers on an unlikely relationship between a frustrated Irish-American scientist (Joan Allen), who is trapped in a miserable marriage to an adulterous politician (Sam Neill), and a Lebanese refugee (Simon Abkarian), a former doctor who is working as a waiter/cook in a restaurant. After an accidental encounter at a banquet in London, they embark on a passionate affair, only to discover that their cultural differences will, inevitably, drive them apart. Idiosyncratic writer/director Sally Potter (“Orlando”) is obviously anti-American, dealing in the kind of heavy-handed symbols that never clouded “Crash,” another recent examination of race relations. Here, she juxtaposes this thoroughly Westernized woman and a gentle Islamic man from Beirut. Predictably, they bicker with the shallow American looking down on the Arabic world – while the discordant epilogue seems to be tacked on as a Hollywood ending. What’s most remarkable is the effortless way in which gifted Joan Allen handles the cadence of the rhyming dialogue. Sounding neither like a recitation of Shakespeare or the stories of Dr. Seuss, she delivers Potter’s often absurd lines with a total lack of self-consciousness. Following her lead, Simon Abkarian, Sam Neill, Shirley Henderson (as the housekeeper) and Sheila Hancock (as an aunt from Belfast) acquit themselves admirably. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Yes” is a stylishly poetic, curious 5. Unless this risky linguistic endeavor, most suitable for film festivals, truly intrigues you, I’d say “no” – and wait for the video.

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War of the Worlds

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “War of the Worlds” (Paramount Pictures)

(CRITIC’S NOTE: Although my son, Don Granger, did not work on this picture, he is president of Cruise/Wagner Productions.) Steven Spielberg’s contemporary revision of H.G. Wells’s 1898 sci-fi classic about a Martian invasion revolves around Ray Ferrier (Tom Cruise), a divorced dad (i.e.: Everyman) caught in the midst of an assault by immense Tripods from outer space; his mission is to protect his children (Dakota Fanning, Justin Chatwin), not to save the world. With death and destruction around him, Ferrier takes an emotional journey, affirming the relevance of the survival of family. Transitioning from immaturity to responsibility, Tom Cruise embodies the reluctant, blue-collar hero. Wide-eyed, precocious Dakota Fanning is endearing, while Justin Chatwin is convincing as a rebellious teen. Miranda Otto scores as Ferrier’s ex-wife and watch for quick glimpses of Gene Barry and Ann Robinson, stars of the 1953 film version, as her parents. Purists will point out ways in which this differs from the original. True. Yet screenwriters Josh Friedman (“The Black Dahlia”) and David Koepp (“Jurassic Park”) kept the essential alien invasion concept; they’ve just reinterpreted it on a character-driven, personal scale. Instead of ‘the Curate,’ for example, there’s a cellar encounter with a deranged militant (Tim Robbins). Credit Janusz Kaminski and Industrial Light & Magic with the big-time frightening visuals, along with Rick Carter’s production design. Reflecting societal unease since 9/11, those malevolent Tripods and malignant red weeds are a scary twist on Spielberg’s benevolent “E.T.” On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “War of the Worlds” is a tension-filled 10. Prepare to be terrified!

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Saving Face

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Saving Face” (Sony Pictures Classics)

The adage of “Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face” takes on a new twist in this culture-clashing, Chinese-American romantic comedy about the emotional price of preserving “face.” At age 28, Wilhelmina Pang (Michelle Krusiec) is a hard-working surgeon at New York Hospital who has amiably endured futile attempts by her widowed mother (Joan Chen) in Queens to introduce her to eligible suitors while never revealing her true sexual orientation. But her cover’s blown when a distraught and shamed Ma turns up on her doorstep, having been thrown out by her own elderly parents, survivors of Mao’s Cultural Revolution, for becoming pregnant at the age of 48 and refusing to reveal the name of the mysterious culprit (Nathaniel Geng). Because within her Park Slope apartment, Wil has secreted Vivian Shing (Lynn Chen), a sassy, sexy, supple dancer with the New York City Ballet. In this tradition-bound, immigrant family, lesbian relationships and unmarried pregnancies are shocking, to say the least. Writer/director Alice Wu, a former computer science student at Stanford and programmer for Microsoft in Seattle, makes this an impressively off-beat debut feature, one in which the characters are torn between their desire to conform and their need for independence. Wil is in love with a person of the “wrong” gender and Ma is in love with a married man. So Alice Wu’s message is: if you’re in love, there’s really nothing wrong with it. Veteran TV actress Michelle Krusiec has such an endearing Sandra Bullock-like appeal that on the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Saving Face” is a warmly humorous, sophisticated 7. Making a point about choices, as opposed to convention and conformity, it’s in English and Mandarin with English subtitles.

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Dark Water

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Dark Water” (Touchstone Pictures)

“Ghost stories deal with one’s fear of the unknown – and the fear of the other,” says Brazilian filmmaker Walter Salles, recalling that Stanley Kubrick once said: if we are afraid of ghosts, it’s because we accept the possibility that there is more than just oblivion waiting beyond the grave. This particular ghost story revolves around the relationship between a mother and child, touching on universal issues of abandonment and urban solitude. Its supernatural terror lies more in what is not revealed than what is shown, thereby igniting the viewer’s imagination. The menacing mystery begins inside Apartment 9F in a dilapidated housing complex on New York City’s Roosevelt Island. Escaping from a bitter custody battle with her estranged husband (Dougray Scott), a psychologically fragile but fiercely protective single mother Dahlia Williams (Jennifer Connelly) is trying to build a new life with her brave five year-old daughter Ceci (Ariel Gade) who has discovered a ghostly new “friend” (Perla Haney-Jardine) she can talk to. Problem is: there’s this brackish water dripping from the ceiling from Apt. 10F. And no one helps – not the real estate broker (John C. Reilly), the janitor (Pete Postlethwaite) nor her lawyer (Tim Roth). Based on a story by Koji Suzuki and Japanese film by Hideo Nakata (“The Ring”), writer Rafael Yglesias (“Fearless”) and director Walter Salles (“The Motorcycle Diaries,” “Central Station”) cleverly manipulate memories and malevolence to create suspense for the ominous jeopardy – and the casting is superb. (Trivia note: a color dye usually used in concentrated gels for soft drinks was added to the water to make it the dark color.) On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Dark Water” is a creepy, chilling, complex 8. Bottom line: it’s a very scary movie.

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Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” (Warner Bros.)

It’s always intrigued me how filmmakers can be inspired by the same literary work yet interpret it so differently. Tim Burton’s take is 180-degrees from “Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory” (1971) with Gene Wilder warbling the Anthony Newley-Leslie Bricusse score. Both campy films are based on Roald Dahl’s 1964 children’s story revolving around five children who win a guided tour of Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory, but that’s where the similarity ends. Charlie Bucket (Freddie Highmore of “Finding Neverland”) is an ordinary lad who lives in a tiny, crumbling hut. He’s poor but blessed with a loving family (Noah Taylor, Helena Bonham Carter, David Kelly of “Waking Ned Devine”). His basic kindness and decency set him apart from the other spoiled brat “winners” – and it’s Charlie, not Willy Wonka, who propels the plot. Despite the fact that he doesn’t sing a note, Johnny Depp’s maniacally mischievous candyman bears a darkly creepy, even sinister resemblance to Michael Jackson – with a freaky masklike face, perfect teeth, black Prince Valiant hair, dandy clothes and latex gloves. Screenwriter John August (“Big Fish”) invents a sociopathic Wonka backstory, involving his strict dentist father (Christopher Lee). And the cocoa-crazed Oompa-Loompas are all played by Deep Roy, whose 4′ 4″ height is digitally shrunk to 30″. Roy performs the bizarre, yet hilarious musical numbers. Not only does Tim Burton’s dazzling, inventive visuality run rampant, particularly with a squadron of nut-cracking squirrels, but he pays homage to choreographer Busby Berkeley and films like “2001: A Space Odyssey” and “Planet of the Apes.” On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” is a weirdly wonderful 8. Surreal sweets are here!

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Fantastic Four

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Fantastic Four” (20th Century-Fox)

As I was leaving the theater, someone behind me muttered, “It’s a fantastic snore!” Another decreed, “A colossal bore!” They weren’t wrong. Except for the “12 year-old boy” audience for whom it’s intended, this latest comic book fantasy doesn’t transcend the genre, particularly when compared with “Batman Begins” and “Spider-Man,” even “X-Men” and “The Hulk.” The Fantastic Four were created in 1961 by Marvel Comics writer Stan Lee and artist Jack Kirby in response to the Justice League, a superhero team from rival DC Comics. As the story goes, four friends are zapped by radiation during a cosmic storm in space. Their altered DNA gives them “special powers” and they evolve into the stretchable Mr. Fantastic (Ioan Gruffudd), the Invisible Woman (Jessica Alba), the Human Torch (Chris Evans) and the hulking Thing (Michael Chiklis). A fifth space traveler, the billionaire industrialist Victor Von Doom (Julian McMahon) from the fictional Latveria in Eastern Europe, becomes their evil nemesis. Director Tim Story (“Barbershop,” “Taxi”) and screenwriters Michael France and Mark Frost forget about struggle and pathos, even believability, saddling the bickering quartet with the perils of “sudden celebrity” and bland issues about how much attention these fatuous, often reluctant superheroes should draw to themselves, plus a tepid love triangle. The underwritten dialogue is silly, corny and – well – juvenile. Worse yet, the hackneyed special effects are neither particularly impressive nor convincing. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Fantastic Four” is a frustrating, flimsy 3. Lacking any coherent vision, of all the recent movies derived from comic books, this is among the weakest, along with “Catwoman,” “Elektra” and “The Punisher.”

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Rebound

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Rebound” (20th Century-Fox)

There is nothing either original or memorable about this formulaic kids-sports movie starring comedian Martin Lawrence as an arrogant college coach who’s redeemed by some young misfits. After one too many on-court screaming tantrums and accidentally killing the beloved team mascot, hot-shot Ray McCormick (that’s Lawrence) is banned from the Ohio basketball league until he can successfully coach somewhere else. It immediately becomes rapidly obvious to both Ray and his agent (Breckin Meyer) that his only viable job opportunity lies with his own alma mater, the inept Mount Vernon Junior High School team that’s been coached by a local teacher (Horatio Sanz) – much to the chagrin of the cynical, overburdened principal (Megan Mullally). The team is filled with stereotypes. There’s the top player (Oren Williams) with, predictably, a lovely single mom (Wendy Raquel Robinson) who teaches at the school. There’s the hapless tall boy who’s uncoordinated, the tough girl-player and a kid who constantly vomits before games. And let’s not forget the overly-aggressive rival coach (Patrick Warburton). As the reluctant, once-selfish Ray turns these scruffy, appealing losers into winners, he learns his own valuable lessons – like how rewarding it is to make a positive difference in the lives of young people. Screenwriters Jon Lucas & Scott Moore borrow every plot element from other, better movies and director Steve Carr relies on repetitive slapstick humor, punctuated by hip-hop music. The only mild surprise is when good-natured Lawrence doubles as slick Preacher Don, who delivers a pre-game “pep talk” to the kids. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Rebound” is a kid-friendly but clichŽ-filled 3. Why not wait for the upcoming remake of “The Bad News Bears”?

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