Movie/TV Reviews

Love Song for Bobby Long

Susan Granger’s review of “Love Song for Bobby Long”

Are you ready for John Travolta as a pot-bellied, hygienically-challenged, low-down drunk? In this melodrama set in Louisiana., a motley assortment of misfits are thrown together by circumstance Cranky Bobby Long (Travolta) is a former Auburn professor who is drowning his seamy past in a bottle and shares a dilapidated house in New Orleans with his former teaching assistant and protŽgŽ, Lawson Pines (Gabriel Macht), who is writing Long’s biography. Their boozy existence is interrupted by the unexpected arrival of feisty 18 year-old Purslane (Scarlett Johansson), a day too late for the funeral of her estranged, free-spirited mother who owned their tacky abode. Convinced that the men have a right to squat there, Purslane gradually forms a bond with them and they, in turn, convince her to get a high school equivalency diploma. As their friendship and trust grows, years of veiled secrets and half-truths are very gradually revealed. First-time director Shainee Gabel wrote the maudlin screenplay based on Ronald Everett Capps’ “Off Magazine Street” novel. Spiced with poetic, literary quotations and metaphors, it’s pretentious and utterly predictable, while Gabel’s direction is pedestrian. In several instances, flimsy scenes are actually saved by cinematographer Elliot Davis’ creative yet naturalistic lighting that augments Sharon Lomofsky’s gothic, atmospheric production design. And while it’s curious to see John Travolta’s heavy-handed, disheveled characterization, along with Scarlett Johansson’s poignant surliness, it’s Gabriel Macht’s intelligent, deeply textured, shadowy performance that’s the most memorable. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Love Song for Bobby Long” is a ponderous, seedy 6, restructuring yet another dysfunctional Southern family.

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A Very Long Engagement

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “A Very Long Engagement” (Warner Bros. Independent)

It’s back into the trenches of World War I (1914-1918) for this bittersweet epic tale of a stubborn young French woman who simply will not accept the fact that her fiancŽ is dead. A polio survivor, Mathilde (Audrey Tatou) is engaged to marry her childhood sweetheart Manech (Gaspard Ulliel) when he is sent off to the battlefront. When the war is over and Manech doesn’t return, she refuses to believe he died and embarks on a mission to prove that he is still alive. To do so, Matilde must investigate how Manech allegedly perished in combat – and this bold quest involves not only hiring a private detective (the late Ticky Holgado) but also tenaciously tracking down those who were in a muddy trench called Bingo Crepuscule during one particular skirmish. Her dogged perseverance reaps rewards as, in one of many memorable encounters, she receives a revelatory letter from a Polish war widow (Jodie Foster). With an expressive face that’s familiar from “Amelie,” Audrey Tautou’s plucky determination is charming and, perhaps, director Jean-Pierre Jeunet from that same 2001 Oscar-nominated film intended this as a melancholy companion piece. Based on Sebastien Japrisot’s best-selling novel, it’s filled with Bruno Delbonnel’s stark battle flashbacks. The cinemagraphic carnage is particularly gruesome in contrast to the lush bucolic visuals that incorporate Jeunet’s preference for sepia tints. And Angelo Badalamenti’s original score is haunting. In French with English subtitles, on the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “A Very Long Engagement” is a sweeping, sentimental, suspenseful 8. It’s just a shame that, due to arcane Academy rules, this picture is not eligible for a Best Foreign Film Oscar since it was not submitted as France’s official entry.

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White Noise

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “White Noise” (Universal Pictures)

Egad! Is it too early to start assembling my Worst Pictures of 2005 list? In this wannabe suspense thriller, the life of architect Jonathan Rivers (Michael Keaton) goes awry when his pregnant second wife, Anna (Chandra West), a best-selling writer, mysteriously disappears and dies. While in mourning, he is approached by Raymond Price (Ian McKneice), a paunchy fellow who says that Anna is trying to communicate with him through EVP, Electronic Voice Phenomenon. And when he receives two telephone calls from Anna’s cell phone, which he knows is turned off, he’s spooked, particularly when he meets Sarah (Deborah Kara Unger) who believes she has made contact with her late fiancŽ via EVP. It seems the static-like “white noise” of sound and images from TV sets and radios can be detected and recorded using a process known as video or photographic instrumental transcommunication. So Jonathan spends a lot of time in front of a fuzzy TV screen, obsessively determined to pick up Anna’s shadowy messages from the grave, even though he’s warned by a psychic (Connor Tracy) that he’d better be careful. Written by Niall Johnson and directed by BBC veteran Geoffrey Sax, it’s lethargic and ludicrous, filled with dark scenes against streams of backlighted rain. Mercifully, this creepy, supernatural ghost story clocks in at only 99 minutes. Unger and Keaton – who previously explored the afterlife in “Beetlejuice” and “Jack Frost” – underplay their roles, leaving the scene-chewing to the apparitions. Curiously, some of the intriguing, supposedly genuine recordings that appeared in the Coming Attractions never made it to the final cut. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “White Noise” is a silly, muddled, dismal 2. Anyone up for the Ouija board?

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The Merchant of Venice

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “The Merchant of Venice” (Sony Pictures Classics)

In a prologue to this classic, screenwriter/director Michael Radford (“Il Postino”) describes the cultural context of late 16th century Venice, a vital trading port, detailing the prevailing contempt in which Italians held Jews. For example, in order to prevent inadvertent contact outdoors, Jews had to wear red hats whenever they left the Geto, later known as the ghetto. As the story opens, Antonio (Jeremy Irons), a well-to-do Catholic merchant, curses and spits on Shylock (Al Pacino), a Jewish moneylender. Shortly after, ironically, Shylock’s tormentor borrows 3,000 ducats so that his beloved, cash-strapped, young friend Bassanio (Joseph Fiennes) can win the heart and hand of rich, noble Portia (Lynn Collins) in distant Belmont. As collateral, Shylock demands a pound of Antonio’s flesh. Thinking a new shipment of goods will arrive, Antonio agrees, only to discover everything is lost at sea. When the case comes before a Court of Justice, wily Portia disguises herself as a male juror deciding whether the bizarre bond is valid. There’s something innately questionable about tackling one of Shakespeare’s more complex plays and streamlining it for the screen, considering the depth of virulent anti-Semitism in several contemporary countries. And Radford’s adaptation meanders, mired in the tragi-comedy plot contrivances and Antonio’s homoerotic relationship with Bassanio. On the other hand, as the despicable, devious, distraught father whose daughter has married a Christian, Al Pacino’s powerful, poignant performance is matched by most of the supporting cast – and photographer Benoit Delhomme’s Venetian visuals are dazzling. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “The Merchant of Venice” is a evocative 8, exploring relevant themes of love, vengeance and bigotry.

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Elektra

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Elektra” (20th Century-Fox)

With her hot bod and built-in “Alias” fan base, Jennifer Garner is the latest television star to don a Madonna-inspired red bustier and make the big-screen leap as a Marvel Comic superhero. Devised by cartoonist Frank Miller in the 1980s, Elektra Natchios was created as a romantic interest/nemesis figure in “Daredevil.” Clad in sexy bondage attire, charismatic Jennifer Garner stole every scene from hapless Ben Affleck in that forgettable flick with the same name. In this spin-off, sinewy Elektra, who previously died, is revived by her blind mentor (Terence Stamp). She becomes a paid assassin who sent to a remote island in the Pacific Northwest to execute lethal “payroll reduction” on Mark (“E.R.’s” Goran Visnjic), a single dad, and his teenage daughter (Kirsten Prout), only to discover that they’re being menaced by a supernatural Asian gang called the Hand. Since these nefarious ninjas, led by Kirigi (Will Yung Lee), were also responsible for the deaths of Elektra’s parents, it’s chaotic, butt-kicking vengeance – big-time! In the shaky hands of “X-Files” director Rob Bowman and “X-2” screenwriter Zak Penn, plus several cohorts, it abandons the good-vs-evil-duality-within-a-superhero and becomes “Kill Bill”-gone-bad. The action sequences are lame, the dialogue is ludicrous, and the acting is laughable. “Elektra, like the tragedy,” muses Mark. “Your parents must have had a sense of humor.” Too bad that’s not true of the film-makers. Elektra going gooey maternal? Gimme a break! On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Elektra” is a listless, power-failing 4, clocking in at 93 minutes. But anyone who makes a critical judgment on sloppy movie like this can often be knocked over by teens and twentysomethings surging to the box-office. A new franchise is born!

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The Sea Inside

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “The Sea Inside” (Fine Line Features)

Compassionate euthanasia is the somber theme of this intelligent, insightful, internationally lauded Alejandro Amenabar melodrama from Spain that’s fictional yet based on real-life events. In Spain’s coastal Galicia region, quadriplegic Ramon Sampedro (Bardem) lies at home in bed, wryly begging to be put out of the helpless misery that he has endured for almost 30 years. Lovingly cared for by his stoic Celtic family, he spends years battling the Catholic Church and Spanish judicial system for the right to die with dignity. To his aid come two women: a lawyer (Belen Rueda) who, although she too is suffering from a debilitating disease, helps Sampedro publish his first book and a lonely visitor (Lola Duenas), a naive single mother who gradually develops a deep understanding his plight. Both establish a romantic relationship with Ramon. Director and co-writer Amenabar (“The Others”) indulges in cinematic, even lyrical flights of fancy and copious symbolism while duly acknowledging the social implications of assisted suicide. But he and collaborator Mateo Gil never establish the profoundly essential emotional connection with his protagonist’s quest to lift this film to greatness. That’s left entirely to the revelatory yet understated nuances of Javier Bardem (Oscar-nominated for “Before Night Falls”). The essential moral and ethical arguments of Ramon’s choice to die are deliberately left unexplored. A bizarre encounter with a quadriplegic priest, for example, is played for humor. If you’re curious about the subject, Denys Arcand’s “The Barbarian Invasions” is far more effective. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “The Sea Inside” is an agonizingly noble, mournful 7, primarily distinguished by Bardem’s powerful, poignant performance.

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Assault on Precinct 13

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Assault on Precinct 13” (Rogue Pictures/Focus Features)

As remakes go, this action thriller is a notch above the rest. Granted, the characters are predictable caricatures and you could drive a police cruiser through the plot loopholes. Nevertheless, there are enough intriguing new twists to be entertaining. An end-of-the-year blizzard has stranded a prison-bound van carrying a fierce, formidable crime lord (Laurence Fishburne), a fast-talking junkie (John Leguizamo), a small-time hustler (Jeffrey “Ja Rule” Atkins) and a gang member (Aisha Hinds) at Detroit’s aged Precinct 13, which is in the process of closing down. An injured, troubled police sergeant (Ethan Hawke), a soon-to-be-retired veteran Irish cop (Brian Dennehy) and a gum-cracking secretary (Drea de Matteo) are in charge. Plus there’s the sergeant’s psychiatrist (Maria Bello) who stops by for a curiously improbable appointment on New Year’s Eve. Yet when heavily armed, masked gunmen break in, led by a federal agent in charge of an Organized Crime and Racketeering Squad (Gabriel Byrne), it turns out that maybe the good guys and the bad guys aren’t exactly who you thought they were. The original version was made by John Carpenter back in 1976, before he made “Halloween,” as an homage to the 1959 Howard Hawks film “Rio Bravo,” starring John Wayne and Dean Martin, whose voice is on the soundtrack. Now in his English-language debut, French director Jean-Francois Richet and screenwriter James DeMonaco (“The Negotiator”) changed the claustrophobic location of the carnage, injected more clichŽs and upped the brutal, explicit violence quotient on a contemporary note. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Assault on Precinct 13” is a serviceable 6. It’s yet another loud, profane, bleak action thriller.

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Alone in the Dark

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Alone in the Dark” (Lions Gate Entertainment)

Movies don’t get much worse than this wannabe thriller about a rogue private investigator who specializes in supernatural phenomena. It’s a total, absolute waste of your time and money. Christian Slater stars, along with wide-eyed Tara Reid, who is improbably cast as a “brilliant anthropologist,” an assistant museum curator who happens to be his former lover. In a bizarre world of stolen artifacts, lost civilizations, shadowy paranormal threats and clandestine government conspiracies involving a crazy scientist’s secret experiments on orphaned children, they must battle deadly reptilian demons from the World of Darkness, creepy creatures whose very existence threatens all of humanity. Doom and gloom! Unable to piece together a coherent story from the formulaic script by Elan Mastai, Michael Roesch and Peter Scheerer, German director Uwe Boll launches forth with a ridiculously long voice-over introductory prologue about the mysterious disappearance of the Abkani, an ancient Native American culture. After that, it’s all violence. People pop up and get shot down, just like the popular Atari video game on which it’s based. Along with the demons from beneath, there are also zombies. The U.S. back-up “troops” are led by Stephen Dorff, who screams inane lines like, “My guys are up there dying – for nothing!” But all the performances are quite incompetent. Uwe Boll’s horror film “House of the Dead” (2003), which was his American debut, was abominable too. While this should have gone direct-to-video, I still would not advise renting it. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Alone in the Dark” is an abysmal 1. Chances are, you’ll probably find yourself alone in the theater too.

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Hide and Seek

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Hide and Seek” (20th Century-Fox)

“Come out, come out, wherever you are…” That familiar childhood chant haunts this sinister horror-thriller about a grave young girl who has been traumatized by her mother’s suicide. One night, Emily Callaway (Dakota Fanning) awakens at 2:06 a.m. to discover that her doting mother (Amy Irving) has slit her wrists in the bathtub. To help Emily escape such distressing memories, her distraught father (Robert De Niro), a psychologist, decides to leave Manhattan and move to a picturesque house in the country, despite dire warnings from his protŽgŽ (Famke Janssen) who is treating Emily. But soon Emily has found a new best friend named Charlie. Always unseen, Charlie is obviously an imaginary playmate. Or is he (shades of “The Sixth Sense”)? Could he be an evil spirit that’s haunted the old Victorian house (shades of “The Grudge”)? Or perhaps one of the overly nosy neighbors (Robert John Burke, Melissa Leo)? Her father isn’t sure. Nor is the rural sheriff (Dylan Baker). And certainly the pretty divorcee (Elisabeth Shue), who surfaces as the widower’s potential love interest, is clueless. With her round-as-saucers eyes, 10 year-old Dakota Fanning almost steals the picture from Robert De Niro, but “almost” is the operative word here. She’s an amazingly precocious and perceptive actress, as demonstrated in “Man on Fire” last year. Utilizing Ari Schlossberg’s underwritten screenplay that’s filled with obsessive, pop-culture symbolism and numerous red herrings, director John Polson (“Swimfan”) focuses on heightening the creepy suspense, often by dimming the lighting and creating ominous shadows. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Hide and Seek” is an intense 5. “Trauma causes pain” – but what about the psychobabble?

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The Wedding Date

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “The Wedding Date” (Universal Pictures)

If you’re looking for a Valentine movie this weekend, this lackluster romantic comedy with an edge may be the closest you’re going to come. When shy, strait-laced, insecure Kat (Debra Messing), a Virgin Airways employee based in New York, is invited to her British half-sister’s wedding and learns that her former fiancŽ is to be Best Man, she decides to cash in $6,000 from her 401-K to hire a handsome “male escort” to accompany her to London. Lo and behold! The hunky gigolo is Nick (Dermot Mulroney) with a comparative lit degree from Brown. And if you can believe that, this is the movie for you. Director Clare Kilner (“How to Deal”) and screenwriter Dana Fox, who adapted the story from Elizabeth Young’s “Asking for Trouble,” combine gender-reversal elements from “Pretty Woman” with the vivacious atmosphere of “Four Weddings and a Funeral.” Certainly the inspiration isn’t bad even though some of the execution is overly clichŽ’d and cloyingly cute. Ebullient Debra Messing, best known for her TV sitcom “Will & Grace,” does her best to fit into Julia Roberts’ pumps, while Dermot Mulroney (“My Best Friend’s Wedding”) does the hooker-with-a-heart-and-a brain bit. Amy Adams, Jack Davenport and Jeremy Sheffield fill the bill as Bride, Groom and jerky Best Man, with Holland Taylor as Kat’s steadfastly American, critical mother and Sarah Parish as a blunt British cousin. Too bad costume designer Louise Page couldn’t come up with more flattering, less frothy outfits; she fails in the fashionista department. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “The Wedding Date” is a meandering, occasionally funny, wannabe fanciful 4. But St. Hugh’s Church and the English countryside look beautiful.

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