Movie/TV Reviews

Inside Deep Throat

Susan Granger’s review of “Inside Deep Throat” (Universal Pictures)

With chilling contemporary relevance, this fascinating film not only demonstrates the cultural impact of a tawdry cinematic phenomenon but documents your rights as a United States citizen. More than 30 years after the release of “Deep Throat,” actor Harry Reems is finally starring in a major studio release, as this compelling documentary by Fenton Bailey and Randy Barbato examines how the notorious porn-comedy launched major Fifth Amendment court battles that almost landed Reems in jail. It began in Florida when the actor who was cast as a comic doctor failed to show up for work. So Reems, a member of the crew, was recruited by director Gerard Damiano and paid $250 to play opposite Linda Lovelace, a woman whose clitoris is in her throat. Sexually explicit, “Deep Throat” quickly became the flashpoint for an unprecedented social and political firestorm amid the sexual revolution. The New York Times called it “porno chic,” validating it as mainstream viewing. According to Camille Paglia, it was the first time that respectable, middle-class women went to X-rated theaters, breaking down traditional codes of decorum. Made for $25,000, it grossed $600 million, making it the most profitable film ever. Combining the facts with social commentary by Norman Mailer, Erica Jong, Gore Vidal, Alan Dershowitz, even Reems’ prosecutor, Larry Parrish, the filmmakers attempt to draw a timely parallel between the repressive Nixon era of 1972 and Bush’s conservative mandate in 2005. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Inside Deep Throat” is an informative, wickedly entertaining 8, questioning, once again, whether the government should be involved in sex and art. If you’re into “hot-button” freedom-of-expression issues, this is a must-see.

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Hitch

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Hitch” (Sony Pictures)

Will Smith has taken down aliens and robots, even sharks, so it was only a matter of time before he tackled his first big-screen romantic comedy. “Hitch” revolves around Alex “Hitch” Hitchens (Smith), a renown “date doctor” with all the right moves. He’s a charismatic, charming rascal who, for a fee, helps shy and socially inept men approach and win over the women of their dreams. “Eight out of 10 women believe that the first kiss will tell them everything they need to know about a relationship,” he says. One of his clients is a tubby, clueless accountant (“King of Queens” Kevin James) who is desperately in love with a jet-setting heiress (Amber Valletta). But the irony is that Hitch himself is commitment-phobic because he’s still suffering from an old heartbreak, so his cool, chivalrous self-confidence doesn’t work with cautious Sara Melas (Eva Mendes), a foxy gossip columnist who works for an incredibly understanding editor (Alan Arkin) at a New York tabloid. Written from a man’s point-of-view by former “Details” editor Kevin Bisch and directed by Andy Tennant (“Sweet Home Alabama”), it’s like a lower Manhattan travelogue with stops at the trendy Soho bistro Balthazar as well as the meatpacking district near 14th Street, which contains many of the city’s hippest and most lively nightspots. The “Amp Lounge,” for example, is loosely based on the real-life, exclusive Soho House. But that’s part of the problem – the scenery is far more interesting than the characters. There are lots of comic set-ups, but they never seem to pay off the way they should. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Hitch” is a slick, streamlined 6, a sweet yet silly and, ultimately, forgettable ploy in the game of love.

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The Libertine

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “The Libertine” (The Weinstein Company)

“I do not want you to like me,” Johnny Depp says, playing libidinous, self-destructive John Wilmont, the second Earl of Rochester. And as “The Libertine” unfolds, you definitely don’t.
Described as “the wildest and most fantastical odd man alive,” Wilmont redefined the concept of the debauched rogue back in 1670s London during the Restoration Era that was filled with startling new developments in science, religion and the arts. In the court of his free-thinking confidante, King Charles II (John Malkovich), Wilmont relished an unparalleled depravity that, eventually, led him down a degrading path of alcoholism to his lingering death from syphilis at age 33. But before he died, he was determined to make good on a wager that he, like Pygmalion, could transform a struggling, ambitious young actress, fiercely independent Lizzie Barry (Samantha Morton), into an acclaimed theatrical diva, much to the dismay of his elegant, long-suffering wife Elizabeth (Rosamund Pike), who was well aware of his sybaritic philandering.
Adapted by Stephen Jeffreys from his cynical, decadent play which was originally staged by John Malkovich at Chicago’s Steppenwolf Theater, it’s self-consciously directed by Laurence Dunmore and dimly photographed through a grainy, grimy lens by Alexander Melman. Oozing arrogance and self-loathing, Johnny Depp foppishly sneers throughout the raucous, bawdy, brutally realistic costume drama, evoking memories of Jim Morrison and Iggy Pop, for whom Depp used to open. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “The Libertine” is a grotesque, repellent, macabre 2, despite its dedication to casting director Mary Selway, Marlon Brando and Hunter S. Thompson. If you want depravity, watch re-runs of the mini-series “Rome” on HBO.

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House of Flying Daggers

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “House of Flying Daggers” (Sony Pictures Classics)

If you’ve never seen a martial arts extravaganza like “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon,” then Zhang Yimou’s newest epic adventure will thrill you. But, frankly, I preferred his previous film, the visually dazzling “Hero,” which has just come out on Video and DVD. Set in China in the ninth century, amid the corruption of the Tang Dynasty, this story centers on an underground political rebellion run by a secret society of Robin Hood-esque assassins known as the House of Flying Daggers. The complicated, convoluted plot involves three characters: two police captains (Japanese-Taiwanese actor Takeshi Kaneshiro and Hong Kong’s Andy Lau) and a graceful yet formidable blind dancer (China’s superstar Zhang Ziyi), a courtesan at a house of pleasure called the Peony Pavilion – although no one is what he/she seems to be. Writer/director Zhang Yimou (“Raise the Red Lantern,” “Ju Dou”) discards his charming, lyrical mysticism in favor of a straightforward narrative and cleverly choreographed “wuxia” (chivalry and swordplay). There’s also an innovative, intriguing interlude, called The Echo Game, that involves agile dancing and intricate drumming. While Zhao Xiaoding’s lush rural landscape cinematography is impeccable, particularly when it captures autumn’s change into winter, the duplicitous love triangle never develops any emotional depth. And enough with the conventional flying/fighting in the bamboo forest! What was astounding at first has now become a stylized clichŽ – and the crescent-shaped, gravity-defying flying daggers are all-too-obviously CGI. Nevertheless, on the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “House of Flying Daggers” is an awesome 8, culminating with operatic soprano Kathleen Battle singing the theme song, “Lovers.”

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SpongeBob Square Pants Movie

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review” SpongeBob Square Pants Movie” (Paramount Pictures)

Of the 57.8 million people every month who watch this top-ranked Saturday-morning cartoon with its low-tech, hand-drawn animation, some 13.1 million are teenagers and an amazing 20.4 million are adults, aged 18-49. Now there’s a big-screen feature, including a version of the theme song sung by Avil Lavigne and tracks from hip bands like Wilco and the Flaming Lips. SpongeBob is a big, yellow, optimistic kitchen sponge who lives in a pineapple in a place called Bikini Bottom, next door to a grumpy octopus named Squidward Tentacles, who dwells in a tiki doll. SpongeBob’s friends are Gary, his pet snail; Sandy Cheeks, a Texas surfer squirrel; and Patrick, a dimwitted pink starfish. SpongeBob works as a fry-cook at the Krusty Krab shack. In this deliciously absurd coming-of-age adventure, naive SpongeBob (voiced by Tom Kenny) and clueless Patrick (voiced by Bill Fagerbakke) go on a quest to retrieve King Neptune’s (voiced by Jeffrey Tambor) stolen crown. One of SpongeBob’s strongest supporters is Mindy the Mermaid (voiced by Scarlett Johansson) and the villain is Plankton, a scheming, power-hungry amoeba (voiced by Doug Lawrence). There’s a biker hit-man Dennis (voiced by Alec Baldwin) and – at the climax – there’s even David Hasselhoff (“Baywatch”) keeping SpongeBob afloat. By co-writers Derek Drymon, Tim Hill, Kent Osborne, Aaron Springer, Paul Tibbett and director/creator Stephen Hillenburg, the whimsical, lighthearted script oozes hip, irreverent wit and sophisticated satire. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie” is an irreverent, goofy, irresistible 9, delivering laughter along with a lesson about integrity and believing in who you are so you can accomplish whatever you desire.

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Alexander

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Alexander” (Warner Bros.)

Writer/director Oliver Stone has delivered a Thanksgiving turkey, a over-stuffed historical epic that’s arduously slathered with sappy symbolism and overt homosexuality and spiced with ambition, greed, jealousy, love, pain and betrayal. There’s even a pinch of horse-whispering. Structured as a history lesson dictated to scribes by Egypt’s Ptolemy, Alexander the Great (356-323 B.C.) led his armies victoriously against the Persian empire, west to Egypt and finally made his way to India’s Punjab. By the age of 25, he had conquered almost the entire known world. Above all, he was a visionary who dreamed of uniting people with a common bond. In the title role, Colin Farrell never quite wraps around his emotionally conflicted character. Both his blond wig and his lilting Irish accent prove disconcerting, as though the lad wandered in en route home from the pub. As his calculating, snake-fondling mother, Angelina Jolie is bizarre, affecting a Russian tone; most of her scenes border on ludicrous. Alexander’s bride Rosario Dawson’s intonations are almost indecipherable, as is Crateros’ Rory McCann’s thick Scottish burr. Val Kilmer fares better as Alexander’s warrior father. Anthony Hopkins and Christopher Plummer are convincing, as is Jared Leto as Alexander’s closest friend and one great love. The real problem lies with Oliver Stone’s lack of a cohesive, thematic vision. Instead, there’s chaotic, spear-rattling, sword-and-scandals bloody butchery. Stone hammers the homosexuality theme, not only with nudity but also with many effeminate pretty-boy flirtations. The only truly exciting battle sequence is in exotic India with elephants. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Alexander” is an uninspired, repetitious, tedious 3. What a waste! It’s too difficult to digest.

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Noel

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Noel” (Flexplay Group)

With an innovative marketing concept, “Noel” is not only opening theatrically for the holiday season – with a one-time showing on TV’s TNT on Nov. 28th – but it’s also available via Amazon.com on unique DVDs that self-destruct within 48 hours of opening the sealed package. Supposedly set in Manhattan but filmed in snowy Montreal, the spiritual plot interweaves three unrelated stories about faith, love and the redemptive powers of a frosty Christmas Eve. Rose (Susan Sarandon) is a lonely, divorced book editor who spends much of her time in the hospital visiting her Alzheimer-afflicted mother. Across the hall, she discovers a dying patient who, apparently, has never had a visitor except a former priest (Robin Williams). There’s Mike (Paul Walker), an about-to-be married policeman who has trouble controlling his jealousy where his Latina fiancŽe (Penelope Cruz) is concerned – until he has a bizarre encounter with a Artie (Alan Arkin), a widower who is convinced that the handsome cop is the reincarnation of his late wife. Finally, there’s an abused, seriously disturbed young man (Marcus Thomas) who yearns to recreate the memory of his one happy Christmas – in a hospital Emergency ward. Along with playing a brief cameo as a bearded thug, actor Chazz Palminteri makes a heavy-handed theatrical feature film directorial debut and, obviously, his primary contribution was attracting such a stellar cast for this maudlin, obviously low-budget holiday concept. Utilizing a script by David Hubbard that’s heavy on syrupy sentiment and light on logic, its antecedent is obviously the Frank Capra classic “It’s a Wonderful Life.” On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Noel” is a tear-jerking 5, focusing on the hopeful warmth beneath the glitter and tinsel.

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Christmas With the Kranks

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Christmas With the Kranks” (Sony Pictures Entertainment)

There’s no doubt that the Yuletide has been overcommercialized but that’s still no excuse for this miserable, lamebrained exercise in sloppy slapstick and silly stupidity. When their grown daughter (Julie Gonzalo) informs her parents (Tim Allen, Jamie Lee Curtis) that she’ll be spending the holidays in the Amazon with the Peace Corps, the couple decide to forgo their usual festivities and take a cruise in the Bahamas. However, this perfectly rational decision throws their petty, materialistic suburban neighbors (Dan Aykroyd, Felicity Huffman, Cheech Marin, Tom Poston, M. Emmet Walsh, Jake Busey) into a fury. Does that mean they won’t send Christmas cards or host their annual Christmas Eve party? What about his company’s holiday party? And won’t they hoist their giant Frosty the Snowman onto their roof? All this fanatical intolerance is settled quickly when their beloved daughter phones to announce that – surprise! – she’s not only coming home but bringing a Peruvian fiancŽ. Hysteria erupts as the Kranks scramble to create yet another Currier & Ives Christmas, honey-ham and all. Written by Chris Columbus (“Home Alone”), based on John Grisham’s “Skipping Christmas,” and directed by Joe Roth, the former Disney exec who gave us “America’s Sweethearts, “Gigli” and “Little Black Book,” it’s a lame comedy that never manages to be either ironic or funny. First it satirizes the communal holiday celebrations, then it lauds them. Better to think of Tim Allen’s irascible “Santa Clause” shenanigans, and if you want to see Jamie Lee Curtis at her zaniest, rent “Freaky Friday.” On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Christmas With the Kranks” is a cheerless, thudding 2, emerging as one of the worst Christmas movies ever.

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Closer

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Closer” (Sony Pictures Entertainment)

If characters are totally self-absorbed and don’t care for each other, even as friends, it’s hard for an audience to form an emotional connection with them or care about their relationships. That’s the problem with Mike Nichols’ adaptation of Patrick Marber’s acclaimed play. This intertwined “lust” story begins when Dan (Jude Law), a newspaper obit writer and wannabe novelist, rescues Alice (Natalie Portman), an American waif, after a London traffic accident. Sparks ignite. A year passes and he’s being photographed for a book cover by recently divorced Anna (Julia Roberts). Sparks ignite. Alice senses betrayal and is jealous of Anna. Then, pretending to be a woman, Dan entices Larry (Clive Owen), a boorish dermatologist, into some graphic cybersex and wickedly plays Cupid, hooking him up with enigmatic Anna. Sparks ignite. These confrontational psycho-sexual games, some more explicit and vicious than others, continue as Dan, Alice, Anna and Larry torture one another by switching and seducing one another. At times, the dynamic between these beautiful but bitter people gets very nasty and ugly. Veteran director Mike Nichols’ juggles the various time frames with consummate artistry and his subtle dramatic skill evokes memories of his first film, “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” (1966) – but there’s no Elizabeth Taylor or Richard Burton here, although all four actors deliver unusually strong performances, particularly Clive Owen. Problem is: what works on the stage doesn’t necessarily translate to film, particularly when it comes to deception. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Closer” is an acrid, sordid 6, delineating a despicable, self-destructive foursome. Above all, this is definitely NOT a date movie – unless you’re planning to break-up.

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Sideways

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Sideways” (Fox Searchlight Films)

As a critic, I usually see films before they’re released but, in this case, I missed the opening date and, therefore, like you, heard nothing but praise for this dark comedy about two losers who go on a wine-tasting trip in California’s Santa Ynez Valley. It’s good but it’s not THAT good. Miles (Paul Giamatti of “American Splendor”) is a pessimistic, depressed wine connoisseur and failed novelist who takes his college roommate-turned-actor Jack (Thomas Hayden Church of TV’s “Wings”) on a week’s vacation before Jack’s upcoming wedding. While Miles downs glass after glass of pinot noir, ruminating on how difficult it is to grow that grape, Jack’s busy hustling Stephanie (Sandra Oh), the wine pourer, for a pre-nuptial fling. He even convinces sad sack Miles to try his luck with Maya (Virginia Madsen), a sympathetic, wine-savvy waitress. Predictably, imbecilic Jack pops his cork on this pastoral misadventure and gets into trouble. Equally predictably, Miles comes to the rescue while saving himself from a mid-life crisis. Adapted by director Alexander Payne and Jim Taylor (who previously collaborated on “About Schmidt”), from the book by Rex Pickett, its subtext is about fading youth and failed potential, which is as depressing as a holiday film can get, despite its poignant conclusion. What’s amazing are the ensemble performances. Son of the late Bartlett Giamatti (president of Yale University and commissioner of Major League Baseball), Paul Giamatti neither looks nor sounds like the usual movie star, yet he’s a consummate actor, as are Thomas Hayden Church, Virginia Madsen and Sandra Oh. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Sideways” is a sweetly melancholy 8. It’s has the insightful spirit of a grape escape.

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