Movie/TV Reviews

Alfie

Susan Granger’s review of “Alfie” (Paramount Pictures)

Some concepts are timeless. “Alfie” is not. The 1966 British film starring Michael Caine delved into class distinctions and had then-relevant social significance about the hedonistic Mod lifestyle. This flimsy remake is simply a contemporary portrait of a charming cad. Transposed from London to New York, Alfie (Jude Law) is a smooth sexual predator who larks about on a Vespa, noting that the Big Apple has “the most beautiful birds in the world.” His serial seductions include a neglected wife (Jane Krakowski) and his “semi-regular, quasi-sort of girlfriend” (Marisa Tomei), a single mother with a young son. Then, over the Christmas holidays, he becomes involved with a glamorous cosmetics executive (Susan Sarandon) and a sexy, substance-abusing party girl (Sienna Miller, Law’s new off-screen love). And there’s an ill-fated one-night stand with his buddy’s (Omar Epps) estranged girl-friend (Nia Long). Outrageously stylish and handsome, Jude Law is tart and trendy where Michael Caine was a calculating misogynist. Caine was a contemptible Cockney; Law is just a shallow Eurotrash jerk. Director Charles Shyer, who co-wrote the screenplay with Elaine Pope, has utilized much of Bill Naughton’s original concept, including having the naughty lothario talk directly into the camera, thereby taking us into his confidence about his various conquests. However, unlike the 1966 film, this “Alfie”unfortunately lacks a climactic drama to complete the character arc. To his credit, Shyer does retain the original song by Burt Bacharach and Hal David, along with several diverting musical interludes with Mick Jagger, Dave Stewart and John Powell. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Alfie” is a style-over-substance 5. So what’s it all about?

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National Treasure

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “National Treasure” (Walt Disney Pictures/Touchstone)

During this Thanksgiving week, why not take the entire family on an American treasure hunt that’s filled with intriguing historical clues leading to high-spirited adventure? When Benjamin Franklin Gates (Nicolas Cage) was a lad, his grandfather (Christopher Plummer) told him that our Founding Fathers had buried the fabled Treasure of the Knights Templar to hide it from the British during the Revolutionary War. This stash was said to be the most staggeringly enormous accumulation of riches and religious artifacts ever – and the only map to find it was concealed in invisible ink on the back of the Declaration of Independence. His skeptical father (Jon Voight) gave up hope after being ridiculed by academicians, but Ben’s persistence gets him a wealthy investor (Sean Bean) who quickly betrays him and tries to steal the fragile parchment. That leaves Ben, his top-tech assistant (Justin Bartha) and a National Archives curator (Diane Kruger) to unravel a series of mind-twisting riddles as they dash through Washington, Philadelphia and Manhattan – with an FBI agent (Harvey Keitel) in hot pursuit. It’s an evocative, fascinating premise with an ingenious, cleverly constructed plot by Jim Kouf and Cormac & Marianne Wibberley. Director Jon Turteltaub layers in the atmosphere and pops up with surprises at just the right times. If only his pacing had the white-hot energy it needs. What’s most amazing is that the story’s genesis lies in actual legends involving the secretive Freemasons and the meaning behind the pyramid and single eye on the U.S. dollar bill. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “National Treasure” is a rip-roaring, fun-filled 8. Attention cryptographers and code-breakers: it’s one of the best scavenger hunts to come along in ages!

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After the Sunset

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “After the Sunset” (New Line)

This fun-in-the-sun jewel heist caper never pretends to be more than it is. That’s why, despite its familiar plotting and two-dimensional characters, it’s nevertheless diverting entertainment. Set in the Bahamas, the story begins as master thief Max Burdett (Pierce Brosnan) and his longtime partner-in-crime Lola (Salma Hayek) have pulled one final robbery and are settling into retirement in their new beachfront home. She’s relishing her life of leisure while his restlessness is painfully obvious – until he realizes that an enormous cruise ship is due to dock nearby with an “exhibition” of the third Napoleon diamond. Max has successfully stolen the other two, a fact well known to genial FBI agent Stan Lloyd (Woody Harrelson), who doggedly tails him the way Inspector Javert followed Jean Valjean in “Les Miserables.” So does he score the priceless gem? Director Brett Ratner (“Rush Hour”) realizes Pierce Brosnan (a.k.a. James Bond) could play this kind of part in his sleep – which he doesn’t, even though he has a scruffy three-day growth of beard – and Salma Hayek, clad in an itsy-bitsy bikini, returns to her natural sexiness after “Frida.” The fact that there’s too little sizzle between them is too bad but not fatal. Woody Harrelson’s the wild card and his goofy buddy-comedy with Brosnan clicks, along with his inept romantic pursuit of a local cop (Naomie Harris). Borrowing liberally from “The Thomas Crown Affair” and “The Big Bounce,” screenwriters Paul Zbyszewski and Craig Rosenberg keep the plot twisting enough to propel the action, although Max’s relationship with the Island mob kingpin (Don Cheadle) is less than effective. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “After the Sunset” is a scenic 6. Classify this trip to paradise as a guilty pleasure.

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Seed of Chucky

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Seed of Chucky” (Rogue Pictures/Focus Features)

Remember the two-foot-tall, serial-killing doll? Chucky first waddled onto the big screen in “Child’s Play” (1998) in which a toy doll’s spirit was overtaken by the evil, anger-filled soul of a psychopath. A cult villain, he’s now in his fifth incarnation and Don Mancini, creator of the Chucky franchise and screenwriter on the previous movies, has taken over as director. In the last installment, Chucky (voiced by Brad Dourif) took a bride, Tiffany (voiced by Jennifer Tilly), and then they killed each other. But now there’s their orphaned doll, gentle Glen (voiced by “Lord of the Rings” star Billy Boyd), who uses a magic amulet to bring his parents back from the dead in order to make a movie. Immediately, they start to argue about whether anatomically incorrect Glen is a Glen or a Glenda, referring to the gender-blending “Ed Wood.” In addition to voicing Tiffany, Jennifer Tilly plays a has-been Oscar-winner named Jennifer Tilly who whines about Julia Roberts’ career since she’s been reduced to starring in this mess – which is all about the dolls’ plans to impregnate her with yucky Chucky’s sperm – and sleeping with a director, played by the hip-hop star Redman, who’s producing a Biblical epic about the Virgin Mary in which Tilly covets the plum part. “You have no self-esteem,” Tilly’s assistant (Hannah Spearritt) observes. “No wonder your career is in trouble.” Ain’t it the truth! There’s nothing scary about all of this – except the fact that it got made in the first place – and most of the humor falls thuddingly flat. A car carrying a Britney Spears look-alike goes off a cliff, and Santa Claus is burned in a graveyard. That’s funny? On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, I grudgingly give “Seed of Chucky” a gross 1. It’s so bad it shouldn’t even be rated.

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The Polar Express

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “The Polar Express” (Warner Bros.)

Tackling the legendary question: Does Santa Claus really exist? – this timeless, adventure-filled odyssey to the North Pole chronicles one eight year-old boy’s struggle with doubts and his miraculous discovery that the wonder of life never fades for those who believe. Based on the popular children’s book by Chris Van Allsburg, the lad’s journey begins on Christmas Eve when he hears the sound of a train outside his front door. Rushing outside, he’s invited aboard by The Conductor who has noted his seasonal cynicism. Along the perilous trek, he learns the importance of helping others in need, making friends and, above all, believing. What’s astonishing about this film is its technology. While it looks like animation, it’s not. It’s an updated version of an old technique: “motion capture.” The characters were first filmed in live action with minimal props, then they were digitally recreated, giving the concept a photoreal aura. Eye-popping, high-tech feats are not unusual for Robert Zemeckis who blended ‘toons with actors in “Who Framed Roger Rabbit” and digitally recreated history in “Forest Gump.” Some of the wizardry includes dancing waiters serving hot cocoa to pint-sized passengers, the caribou crossing, the roller-coaster-like run through Glacier Gulch, the discovery of forsaken toys, the thousands of elves, the North Pole gift factory and the eventual launching of Santa’s sleigh. Tom Hanks plays five different parts: the hero boy, his father, the train conductor, the hobo and Santa Claus. Eddie Deezen, Peter Scolari, Nona Gaye and the late Michael Jeter did the other main roles. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “The Polar Express” is a sentimental, schmaltzy 9, evoking the heartwarming magic of Christmas. So, can you still hear the bell?

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Bridget Jones: The Age of Reason

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Bridget Jones: The Age of Reason” (Universal)

When last seen, bumbling, neurotic Bridget Jones (Renee Zellweger) had finally dumped her former boss, Daniel Cleaver (Hugh Grant), and snuggled in with her priggish Prince Charming, otherwise known as Mark Darcy (Colin Firth). While Bridget’s “a love pariah” no more, her next question is: “What happens after you walk into the sunset?” It’s deja vu all over again when Bridget’s “happily ever after” bliss is not only challenged by her jealousy of Mark’s colleague gorgeous (Jacinda Barrett) but, more importantly, by her own desperate lack of self-esteem. Perhaps because Helen Fielding’s second novel is so modest, three additional screenwriters (Andrew Davies, Richard Curtis and Adam Brooks) came in to flesh it out, along with heavy-handed director Beeban Kidron, who amplifies Bridget’s sappy melodrama and awkward, even annoying slapstick and doesn’t seem to notice that she’s turned these eccentric characters into caricatures. Sadly, the stalwart, colorful supporting characters (Jim Broadbent, Gemma Jones, etc.) are now mere cameos. Jany Temime’s costumes and Adrian Biddle’s photography do little to enhance poor Bridget, who seems far lumpier and less attractive this time ’round. The result is simply a silly trifle that’s elevated by Renee Zellweger’s endearing, almost irresistible performance. Naturally slim, she’s gamely piled on the pounds again and become even clumsier. Colin Firth embodies the solid sort of fellow every “thirtysomething” woman wants to wind up with but only after her heart’s been battered around a bit by the likes of a charming cad like Hugh Grant. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason” is an amusing 5, appealing to the deep-seated insecurities in all of us.

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Head in the Clouds

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Head in the Clouds” (Sony Classics)

This old-fashioned, romantic melodrama tips its fateful hand too early and shatters suspense as two lovers are forced to choose between their mutual passion and their political convictions. Charlize Theron (this year’s Oscar-winner for “Monster”) demonstrates her versatility as she evolves from promiscuous socialite to carefree hedonist to clever W.W.II spy. She’s Gilda Besse who bursts into the Cambridge dorm room of an idealistic, Irish-born scholarship student (Stuart Townsend) who is immediately besotted by her impetuous behavior. Although their paths cross over the years, glamorous Gilda refuses to commit to anyone or anything. Neither him nor her bohemian, bisexual lover (Penelope Cruz), even when they both trot off to join the Resistance in the Spanish Civil War. Daughter of an American socialite and wealthy French aristocrat (Steven Berkhoff), Gilda’s a self-centered, determined dilettante who won’t leave Paris, even under the German occupation, when she keeps company with a high-ranking Nazi (Thomas Kretschmann). Writer/director John Duigan captures the atmosphere of that enticing European era far better than the complex narrative and enigmatic, clichŽ’d characters. Gorgeous Charlize Theron cavorts topless, using her sexy charisma to overcome the almost ludicrous inconsistencies of this ambiguous femme fatale role. Penelope Cruz never seems to stop smirking and brooding and, despite his real-life romance with Theron, Stuart Townsend comes across wimpy, stodgy and unconvincing as her on-screen lover. There’s no spark, no chemistry between them. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Head in the Clouds” is a disappointing 4. Up there in the clouds, this pulpy melodrama is really, really boring.

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Wimbledon

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Wimbledon” (Universal Pictures)

That dainty Kristin Dunst (“Spider-Man 2”) is far from convincing as Lizzie Bradbury, a hotshot American tennis player with a fiery John McEnroe temper, is tempered by the fact that this underdog tale isn’t about her. It’s about Peter Colt, played far more persuasively by pale, lanky, freckle-faced Paul Bettany (“Master and Commander”). She’s just the girl who courts him. At 31, Britain’s Peter Colt is an old-timer on the circuit. Once ranked 11th in the world, he’s now 119th. To him, that means “There are 118 guys out there who are faster, younger and stronger.” At the Lawn Tennis Championships at Wimbledon, he’s the faded English wild card, reluctantly preparing to retire to teach tennis to middle-aged ladies at a posh club. Enter snippy wild-child Lizzie whose carnal urges are irrepressible. Their libidinous courtship is charming if formulaic and, predictably, their foreplay seems to transform not only his forehand but his serve and backhand as well. Unfortunately, Lizzie’s serve goes “mushy,” much to the consternation of her dad/coach (Sam Neill). (It’s hard to get too concerned about this since Dunst obviously can’t play tournament tennis – and it shows. To his credit, Bettany learned to fake it far better.) Screenwriters Adam Brooks, Jennifer Flackett and Mark Levin pepper the sweet passion with eccentric supporting characters, like his parents (Bernard Hill, Eleanor Bron), kid brother (James McAvoy) and huckster agent (Jon Favreau), along with her arrogant ex (Austin Nichols). Watch hunky Nikolaj Coster-Waldau scene-steal as Colt’s pal, Dieter, while director Richard Loncraine (“Richard III”) bounces from courtship to center-court with stylish CGI shots. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Wimbledon” is a wry, tightly-strung 6. It’s a contrived lesson in love.

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Merci Docteur Rey

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Merci Docteur Rey” (Merchant Ivory/Regent Releasing)

Mounted in the sumptuous elegance for which Merchant Ivory productions are known, this bizarre French farce confounds with its complex, voyeuristic incongruity. In Paris, twentysomething Thomas (Stanislas Merhar) is a gay hustler who unwittingly witnesses the murder of the father (Simon Callow) he never knew by a hunky young stud (Karim Saleh), just as his self-absorbed diva mother (Dianne Wiest) is rehearsing Puccini’s “Turandot” at the Opera. Riddled with guilt, he seeks help from a psychiatrist named Dr. Rey, who – unbeknownst to Thomas – has just died of a heart attack. Penelope (Jane Birkin), a neurotic patient who suffers under the delusion that she is Vanessa Redgrave just because she dubs Vanessa’s voice in French films, pretends to be the analyst. Predictably, through this mistaken identity, a relationship develops between Thomas and Penelope, much to the chagrin of Thomas’ mother who is clueless about his real sexual orientation. All of this takes place amid several chaotic coincidences involving rent-boys, sordid family secrets, a 500-franc note, bumbling policemen, a jar of rancid mayonnaise and hash brownies. First-time feature writer/director Andrew Litvak not only fails to develop consistently credible characters but his pseudo-sophisticated plot is so muddled as to be incomprehensible. In a backstage dressing room sequence, Jerry Hall delivers a gratuitous cameo, as does Vanessa Redgrave, appearing as herself, while Jane Birkin – inexplicably – wears a dress that matches the wallpaper. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Merci Docteur Rey” is a flimsy, fallible 4. There’s much ado about very little in this Gallic comedy/melodrama.

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Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger: “Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow” (Paramount Pictures)

Talk about comic-book movies! Visually imaginative and inventive, the live-action in this uniquely retro sci-fi adventure was entirely filmed against blue screens, so keep in mind that everything but the actors are computer-generated images. Set in the Art Deco futurism of New York in 1939, Joe “Sky Captain” Sullivan (Jude Law), a Flash Gordon/Buck Rogers-type aerial ace teams up with plucky reporter Polly Perkins (Gwyneth Paltrow, dressed by Stella McCartney), intrepid British air commander Franky Cook (roguish Angelina Jolie with an eye patch) and Dex Dearborn (Giovanni Ribisi), his enterprising mechanical engineer, to save the world when six eminent German scientists mysteriously disappear and gigantic robots crush Midtown Manhattan. All the clues point to the dastardly, megalomaniacal Dr. Totenkopf (that’s German for “Death’s Head,” a subtle reference to the late, now-digitally resurrected Laurence Olivier) and his agile enforcer (Chinese actress Bai Ling). First-time feature film-maker Kerry Conran, created a revolutionary high-tech CGI program that enabled him to shoot the entire movie with a 3-D storyboard of each scene in his computer. Which means that the opening image of a massive Hindenberg III dirigible docking atop the Empire State Building, Joe’s P-40 Warhawk and Totenkopf’s war machines are all vivid figments of Kerry Conran and his brother Kevin’s limitless imagination – with credit due to “Metropolis,” “Shangri-La,” “Wizard of Oz” and a crew of nearly 100. Six years work and $70 million paid off. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow” is a slick, super-stylish, nostalgic 8, a vintage, high-flying, pop-culture adventure for the whole family.

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