Movie/TV Reviews

Head of State

Susan Granger’s review of “Head of State” (DreamWorks)

Writer/comedian Chris Rock makes his directorial debut with this political satire in which a previously unknown Washington, D.C. alderman is suddenly picked to run for President of the United States. Narrated by rapper Nate Dogg, the concept is clever but the execution falters. Rock stars as Mays Gilliam, a hard-working, streetwise politician whose duplicitous girl-friend (Robin Givens) ditches him and whose bad neighborhood is about to get worse when, impulsively, he rescues an elderly lady from a burning building. As a local hero, his photograph appears in the newspaper just as both Presidential candidates die when their planes collide. Knowing his party’s destined to lose the election, sleazy Sen. Arnot (James Rebhorn), who has his own eye on the White House in 2008, cynically chooses this naive African-American to head the doomed ticket. Stunned, Mays accepts the challenge and his life is taken over by a campaign manager (Dylan Baker), political consultant (Lynn Whitfield) and carnal-diversion staffer (Stephanie Mansfield). He delivers their staid, ambiguous speeches until, inevitably, he rebels, coining a slogan, “That Ain’t Right,” and adding his pugilistic older brother (Bernie Mac) as a running-mate. Mays’ opponent is the incumbent Vice-President (Nick Searcy) who keeps repeating that he’s Sharon Stone’s cousin, a gag that’s futile without at least a cameo from the sexy actress. But that’s not the only missed opportunity. The silly script is weighted down with clichŽs, including the hackneyed conversion of uptight, white people into hip-hop dancers. Even Mays’ new romantic interest (Tamala Jones) is tepid. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Head of State” is a faltering, forgettable 5. Chris Rock deserves better than this bland banality.

Head of State

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Piglet’s Big Movie

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Piglet’s Big Movie” (Disney)

Poor Piglet! Until now, being the most diminutive of Winnie the Pooh’s circle of friends in the Hundred Acre Wood, he’s never received the attention he deserved. Which is why his very own story is so important – with emotional relevance for the tiny tots who comprise its audience. The playfully gentle story begins as the Pooh crew – Tigger, Eeyore, Owl, Kanga, Rabbit, and Roo – start off on a ‘honey harvest.’ Piglet’s deeply hurt when he’s told he’s too small to help. But when the meek little pink fellow in his red-and-black striped jersey and trademark scarf disappears, Pooh and the gang turn to his scrapbook for clues to try and find him. In the process, they discover that this “Very Small Animal” – shy, quiet and insecure – has had a huge impact on their lives. In many ways, he’s a hero. It’s particularly enchanting when the characters’ own crayon still-life drawings come to life as they reminisce about their porcine pal in Pooh Corner. Inspired by A.A. Milne’s stories, this is the second original Pooh feature created for the big-screen, following “The Tigger Movie.” Directed by Francis Glebas, it features 78 year-old John Fiedler, who’s been voicing Piglet’s little-boy squeak since the 1960s, while Carly Simon provides a big bonus with her beguilingly contemporary songs: “If I Wasn’t So Small,” “Mother’s Intuition,” “The More I Look Inside,” “With a Few Good Friends” and “Sing Ho for the Life of a Bear,” which the singer/songwriter adapted from Milne’s own words. The old-fashioned, mostly hand-drawn animation was done by Walt Disney Animation Japan (WDAJ). On the Granger ‘Tiny Tots’ Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Piglet’s Big Movie” is a warm, whimsical 7, teaching important lessons about loyalty and that it doesn’t take somebody big to do big things.

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Boat Trip

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Boat Trip” (Artisan Entertainment)

Cuba Gooding, Jr., fire your agent! Anyone who signed you onto this dumb, smutty sex comedy doesn’t have your best interests at heart. For a 1996 Oscar-winner for “Jerry Maguire” to descend this low is inexcusable – and how Roger Moore wound up in this dismal mess will forever remain a mystery. Directed with mounting hysteria by Mort Nathan from his and William Bigelow’s double-entendre-laden script, the lame story revolves around a guy (SNL’s Horatio Sanz) who tries to cheer up his computer-programmer buddy (Gooding), who’s broken up with his spoiled, demanding girl-friend (Vivica A. Fox) after she rejects his marriage proposal, by arranging for them to board a Mediterranean singles cruise. If I remember correctly, Sanz says something like “saddle up the old baloney pony.” But what neither man realizes until it’s too late is that their nasty travel agent (Will Ferrell) has deliberately booked them on a gay cruise. Homophobic jokes and offensive stereotypes abound – until the hetero guys find women: a dance instructor (Roselyn Sanchez) and the entire Swedish sun-tanning team whose helicopter is accidentally – yet conveniently – shot down with a flare gun. Roger Moore? He’s along for the ride, playing James Bond as an lecherous, aging queen. Gooding, Sanz and Moore chew the scenery, perhaps overacting as a defense against dementia. I mean, what choice does Gooding have when he’s called on to lip-sync dance routine to “I’m Coming Out,” clad in a jockstrap, gold chains, white boots, and peacock feathers? On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Boat Trip” is a crass, tiresome 2. At 95 minutes, it seems like an eternity. This ship deserves to sink.

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What A Girl Wants

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “What A Girl Wants” (Warner Bros.)

If you’re a teenage star like Amanda Bynes, what you want is a deliciously delightful romantic comedy like this. While adults might not recognize her name, Bynes is familiar to kids and teens from her role in Nickelodeon’s “All That” and “The Amanda Show” and, recently, the sitcom “What I Like About You.” Here she plays Daphne, a 17 year-old New Yorker who lives in a 5th floor walk-up in Chinatown. She yearns to meet the father she’s never known, an English aristocrat whom her bohemian mother (Kelly Preston) met and married in the Moroccan desert but left once she realized she could never feel comfortable in his elegant, upper-crust society. “I feel like half of me is missing, so how can I know who I am?” Daphne wails. So, unbeknownst to her mother, she takes off for London, where she, literally, appears on her unsuspecting father’s doorstep. At first, Lord Henry Dashwood (Colin Firth) is stunned but then intrigued by his irrepressibly bubbly American daughter – much to the chagrin of his snobbish fiancŽe (Anna Chancellor) and her snotty debutante daughter (Christina Cole). Daphne’s only ally is her grandmother (Eileen Atkins) who nevertheless cautions, “No hugs, dear, we’re British. We only show affection to dogs and horses.” Then there’s Ian (Oliver James), a perceptive musician who asks: “Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you’re born to stand out?” The Cinderella screenplay by Jenny Bicks and Elizabeth Chandler is reminiscent of Sandra Dee’s “The Reluctant Debutante” (1958), as director Dennie Gordon capitalizes on irresistible Amanda Bynes’ flair for physical comedy. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “What A Girl Wants” is a bright, beguiling, tart ‘n’ tender 8. What a girl wants for fun is a rockin’ date movie like this!

What A Girl Wants

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The Core

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “The Core” (Paramount Pictures)

Talk about rushing the popcorn picture season! Jon Amiel’s sci-fi fantasy is just the kind of averting-Armageddon disaster flick that’s usually released around Memorial Day. This cosmic survival story begins with a series of inexplicable phenomena: pigeons lose the ability to navigate, creating panic in London’s Trafalgar Square, and pacemakers suddenly stop working in Boston, causing people to drop dead in the street. San Francisco’s Golden Gate Bridge collapses and Rome’s Coliseum crumbles. Egad, what’s happening to our Earth? Well, it seems the electromagnetic field, which shields us from deadly solar radiation, is collapsing because the planet’s inner core has stopped rotating. And if rotation doesn’t resume, we’ll all be extinct. And it’s all because some nasty government agents were mucking around with Mother Nature! Coming to the rescue are an adventurous geophysicist (Aaron Eckhart), his celebrated egomaniacal colleague (Stanley Tucci), a French atomic weapons expert (Tcheky Karyo), a computer hacker prankster (DJ Qualls) and another geophysicist (Delroy Lindo) who has designed an experimental, laser-powered earth-burrower. Piloted by “terranauts” (Bruce Greenwood, Hilary Swank), these intrepid, if idiotic, heroes travel deep into the bowels of the earth. Above-ground, their trials and travails are monitored by mission control personnel (Alfre Woodard, Richard Jenkins). Screenwriters Cooper Layne and John Rogers propel the plot, as one-after-another, the explorers succumb. Can Earth be saved? Who will emerge alive? Do you care? On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “The Core” is an absurd, escapist 6. It’s such a no-brainer and so ridiculous that it’s campy – but I have my doubts whether that was intentional.

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The Quiet American

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “The Quiet American” (Miramax Films)

Credit actor Michael Caine, director Phillip Noyce and screenwriters Christopher Hampton & Robert Schenkkan with this compelling adaptation of Graham Greene’s 1955 novel about political and romantic intrigue in Vietnam. Think back about 50 years when the French colonial occupation was floundering and the United States was just contemplating military intervention. Based in Saigon, veteran London Times correspondent Thomas Fowler (Caine) is hungry for a story when he’s questioned a murdered American whom the police discovered in the river. It’s Alden Pyle (Brendan Fraser) who claims to be in Indochina on a medical mission. Fowler knew Pyle – and the narrative flashes back to reveal their complicated relationship which included a complex rivalry over a pliant yet opportunistic 19 year-old dancer, Phuong (Do Thi Hai Yen). Utilizing the benefit of hindsight, the film’s ideological perspective about the subsequent United States involvement in Vietnam is subtle yet clear. Delivering a powerful performance, Michael Caine embodies the wistfully cynical, vulnerable journalist/narrator. His jaded intensity is matched by the idealistic, self-righteous zeal of Brendan Fraser who excuses Pyle’s callow subterfuge with: “In the long run, I’m going to save lives.” Behind-the-scenes, cinematographer Christopher Doyle and designer Roger Ford superbly evoke the deceptively exotic yet sad sensuality of Saigon. Film buffs may recall that Joseph L. Mankiewicz adapted Greene’s novel for the screen in 1958, starring Michael Redgrave, but Audie Murphy’s performance as the young Yank was disappointing. (Murphy was a real-life hero-soldier but no actor.) On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “The Quiet American” is a wry, ironic 8. It’s a bittersweet spy story.

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Penn & Teller: Bullshit!

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Penn & Teller: Bullshit!” (Showtime TV presentation)

With its advertising logo, “No Limits,” Showtime once again leaps into controversy with this outrageous, irreverent expose of taboo topics, hosted by magicians Penn & Teller. While the title may give pause to viewers and advertisers, it’s been carefully chosen because, as Penn explains, while it’s profanity, it’s also legal. Accusing performance artists of outright fraud isn’t. So to avoid lawsuits, expletives are used as rather than more socially acceptable words. The first episode of this half-hour series challenges the popular phenomenon of psychics who claim they can communicate with the dead. “Anyone can talk to the dead,” Penn skeptically notes, “getting an answer is what’s difficult.” With the help of paranormal investigators, the technique of “cold readings” is revealed, as Penn delivers an angry tirade about how these nonsense peddlers exploit grief. Then Penn delves into “hot readings,” which is when psychics cheat, using advance research or hidden microphones. Citing the P.T. Barnum effect, Penn contends that the public wants to be fooled. Who wouldn’t want to talk to long-lost loved ones? Invariably the psychics have more misses than hits but people remember the hits, not the misses. Upcoming segments debunk Alternative Medicine, Alien Abductions, Environmental Hysteria, Bottled Water, Feng Shui, Creationism, Ouija Boards, Sex Appliances, Self-Help Gurus, Diets & Food, Second-Hand Smoke, ESP and the End of the World. On the Granger Made-for-TV Gauge, “Penn & Teller: Bullshit!” is a weird, wacky, intriguing 7 – and while I found the barrage of obscenities disconcerting, it seems useful in the case of scam artists. The series premieres on Friday, Jan. 24, at 11 PM with new episodes every Friday night. So how gullible are you?

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JUST MARRIED

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “JUST MARRIED” (20th Century-Fox)

Geared specifically for teenagers, this romantic comedy about troubled newlyweds utilizes something old (Sam Harper’s predictable script), something new (the nubile, allegedly inseparable co-stars), something borrowed (scenes from “Meet the Parents,” “There’s Something About Mary” and TV’s “Home Improvement”) and something blue (adult ennui for 95 minutes). When director Shawn Levy (“Big Fat Liar”) teamed Brittany Murphy (“8 Mile”) with Ashton Kutcher (“Dude, Where’s My Car?”), he played Cupid. This pairing has generated the kind of teen gossip that hasn’t been seen since Freddie Prinze Jr. found Sarah Michelle Gellar. Unfortunately, too little of their chemistry is reflected on-screen as this goofy “You’re too young to be married” couple embarks on a getting-to-know-you journey en route to happily-ever-after. When wealthy Wellesley-grad Sarah McNerney (Brittany Murphy) married Tom Leezak (Ashton Kutcher), a dim-witted, blue-collar, late-night radio traffic-reporter in Los Angeles, they knew they had cultural differences but what they didn’t realize was how their diverse tastes would cause friction during their European honeymoon. Like when they’re in Venice: he’d rather watch a Dodgers game in a bar than ogle the Tintorettos on church walls. At other times, their mishaps are just stupid – like plugging an American electrical appliance into a European socket. Plus there’s the appearance of Sarah’s smarmy old flame (Christian Kane) who’s been sent by her snobbish parents to break them up. Expect endless, boorish slapstick, particularly pratfalls, before the overtly sentimental conclusion. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Just Married” is a blandly immature, irritating 3 – unless you’re a teenager desperate for a date-movie.

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LEWIS & CLARK: GREAT JOURNEY WEST

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “LEWIS & CLARK: GREAT JOURNEY WEST” (IMAX)

National Geographic’s “Lewis & Clark: Great Journey West” chronicles the daunting 8,000-mile expedition led by Meriweather Lewis and William Clark through uncharted territory to find the legendary Northwest Passage and map a waterway for commerce to the Pacific Ocean. Its release is part of a three-year bicentennial celebration. In a letter to Congress dated January 18, 1803, President Thomas Jefferson requested approval and funding to explore the Louisiana Purchase, a vast wilderness in the North American continent. Jefferson appointed his secretary, Meriweather Lewis, a studious 28 year-old naturalist and U.S. Army captain, to lead 31 determined adventurers known as the Corps of Discovery. Lewis then chose 32 year-old William Clark, his close friend, to co-captain with him. Their bold voyage would change the course of history. In its day, it was the equivalent of a trip to the moon. Jeff Bridges narrates this bicentennial IMAX docudrama which begins with a sail up the Missouri River from St. Louis. The courageous travelers quickly realized that their excursion could only succeed with the help of the Native Americans they met along the way. En route, they encountered 50 different tribes. But the most important contribution came from their teenage Shoshone Indian interpreter Sacagawea (pronounced here sa-CA-ga-WEE-ah, with a hard g, although the more popular pronunciation is SA-ca-ja-WAY-uh), who carried her infant son along the way. Written by Mose Richards, directed by Bruce Neibaur and photographed by T.C. Christensen, it’s a 42-minute visual spectacle, complete with jagged, snow-capped mountains, thick forests, perilous rapids, a thundering herd of bison and a charging grizzly bear. The narrative sensitively condenses and sanitizes its trail-blazing content (i.e.: an African-American man named York is described as Clark’s “slave and lifelong friend.”) with little insight or emphasis on character development. Nevertheless, purely as an educational travelogue-adventure, on the Granger IMAX Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Lewis & Clark: Great Journey West'” is an exciting 8. On the huge screen, it’s exhilarating. And for a full list of Lewis & Clark bicentennial events, visit www.lewisandclark200.org.

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Shanghai Knights

Movie/TV Reviews / Susan

Susan Granger’s review of “Shanghai Knights” (Touchstone Pictures)

This sequel to “Shanghai Noon” (2000) re-teams the odd-couple of Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson – now coping with culture clash in Victorian England. As action comedy begins, Chon Wang (Chan) has made an honorable transition from the Imperial Guard in China’s Forbidden City to the sheriff of Carson City, Nevada. But when he receives word from his younger sister Lin (Fann Wong) that their father was killed by dastardly thieves who stole the Imperial Seal, he seeks out his con-man buddy Roy O’Bannon (Wilson) who, meanwhile, has created a purely-fictional Wild West hero persona in pulpy dime novels. Together, they join Lin, an accomplished kung-fu fighter, to seek revenge in London where – to Chon’s dismay – a goofy romantic chemistry sparks between Roy and Lin. The politically ambitious villains are snobbish Lord Rathbone (Aiden Gillen), tenth in succession to the British throne, and Wu Chan (Donnie Yen), the Emperor’s illegitimate brother. Writers Alfred Gough and Miles Millar (creators of TV’s “Smallville”) and director David Dobkin (“Clay Pigeons”) use broad comedy to play to the strengths of both actors, giving Chan the acrobatic stunt work and Wilson the comedic quips. Albeit replicated in Czechoslovakia, 19th-century London is eerily convincing – with Madame Toussaud’s Wax Museum and Big Ben, plus glimpses of Jack the Ripper, Sherlock Holmes and Queen Victoria. The retro soundtrack rocks, complete with a nod to Gene Kelly’s “Singin’ in the Rain” umbrella scene. And I suspect this lighthearted romp can overcome the box-office title curse that befell “A Knight’s Tale,” “Black Knight” and “First Knight.” On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Shanghai Knights” is a playfully comic, fun-filled 7. Dare I say even better than the original?

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