Susan Granger’s review of “Five: the Parody Musical” (Theater 555 – Off-Broadway)
Farcical “Five” is funny – vulgar and timely – as the women in Donald Trump’s life compete as to who has had it worse.
Remember how – in the girl-power Broadway hit “Six” – each of the six wives of Henry VIII sings her song of woe, each summing it up with one word? For Catherine of Aragon: DIVORCED – Anne Boleyn: BEHEADED – Jane Seymour: DIED – Anne of Cleves: DIVORCED – Catherine Howard: BEHEADED – Catherine Parr: SURVIVED.
Librettists/lyricists Shimmy Braun and Moshiel Newman Daphna with co-lyricist/composer Billy Recce utilize the same structural concept, crudely skewering the five women who figure most prominently in the life of Donald J. Trump. They’ve ostensibly assembled for a debate as to who had it the worst – with the audience left to decide.
There’s the Donald’s resentful first wife Ivana (Anyae Anasia): DIVORCED – porn star Stormy Daniels (Gabi Garcia): GAVE HEAD – second wife, pseudo-religious Marla (Gabriella Joy Rodriguez): FIRED – third wife, Slovenian Melania (Jamie Lyn Beatty): HIRED – and last, but far from least, privileged daughter Ivanka (Hannah Bonnett): FAVORITE, DADDY’S PRINCESS and NUMBER ONE.
Ivana warbles “You Veel Always Love Me,” reminiscent of Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You.” Stormy’s “Storm’s Comin’ In” suggests “There’s a Coach Comin’ In” from “Paint Your Wagon.” Marla’s “Un-popular” was inspired by “Popular” from “Wicked.” Melania’s “Everything Vas Betta Wit Potato” conjures “Everything Was Beautiful at the Ballet” from “A Chorus Line.” And Ivanka’s “Kiss Me Daddy One More Time” evokes Britney Spears’ “Hit Me Baby One More Time” from “Once Upon a One More Time.”
After they’ve each made her case, Hillary Clinton (drag star Jasmine Rice Labeija) appears in a white pants suit, claiming that – while she didn’t sleep with him – she was certainly his prime victim. Her sensational “Don’t You Miss Me Now” song stops the show!
Eventually, as with the wives of Henry VIII, Trump’s women realize, “Just because we were fucked by Donald doesn’t mean we need to fuck over each other.”
Directed and choreographed by Jen Wineman, it’s presented like a cabaret/revue on David Goldstein’s tacky red/white/blue Presidential set with music – often far too loud for my taste – supplied by Lena Gabrielle’s four-piece all-female band, over-amplified by sound designer Uptown Works.
Credit Florence D’Lee’s creative costumes and Ian Joseph’s hair/wig contributions.
Responding to popular demand and Marla’s query, “So, are there any Republicans in the house?” – “Five” has been extended through April 21 at Theater 555 on 42nd Street. The show runs one hour, 25 minutes – and tickets are available at http://www.FiveTheMusical.com.