Susan Granger’s review of “The Property Known as Garland” (Actors Playhouse)
So much is known about legendary Judy Garland, one of the most charismatic performers of the 20th century, that it’s hard to come up with new material – and that’s the problem faced by Billy Van Zandt in this boring Off-Broadway bio-play, based on a ghoulish recording of the diva’s ramblings before a performance.
Directed by Glenn Casale, the drama takes place backstage in Copenhagen in 1969 on the night of Judy’s last concert. After she’s roused by a Danish “go-fer” (Kerby Joe Grubb) who is told to fetch mashed potatoes and green beans, memories and anecdotes come spilling out. There are rants on her mercenary mother and M.G.M.’s kingpin Louis B. Mayer, who once referred to her as a “hunchback.” She complains about being fired from “Annie Get Your Gun” and replaced by Betty Hutton and losing the Oscar she felt she deserved for “A Star Is Born.” There’s a running joke that has Judy referring to every actor she mentions as a “drunk” while she’s sitting at her dressing table imbibing Blue Nun. She even has vitriol for her audience, accusing her loyal fans of exploiting her like everyone else.
Best known as the heroine of horror/action movies like “The Fog” and “Return to Escape from New York” and, most recently, HBO’s mini-series “Carnivale,” Adrienne Barbeau (a.k.a.: Mrs. Billy Van Zandt) plays Garland. Curiously, she doesn’t even attempt an impersonation. Rather than imitating Judy’s distinctive speech patterns, Ms. Barbeau sounds more like aristocratic Katharine Hepburn.
While the play is lacking, voluptuous Ms. Barbeau isn’t. Remember that she originated the role of Rizzo in “Grease” on Broadway three decades ago. With strong bone-structure and sensational looking at 60, she gave birth to twins just nine years ago – at age 51. Neverthless, a Star Is Not Born with this venture.