Susan Granger’s review of “Transporter 3” (Lionsgate)
Frank Martin (Jason Statham) has become a kind of poor man’s James Bond. He’s this imperturbable, indestructible Mediterranean mercenary whose specialty is transporting suspicious packages. What’s remarkable is that he perseveres – no matter how the odds are stacked against him. In this installment, Martin is forced to transport irritating Valentina (Natalya Rudankova), the kidnapped daughter of Leonid Vasilev (Jeroen Krabbe), the head of Ukraine’s Environmental Protection Agency, from Marseilles. While they drive through Stuttgart and Budapest to Odessa on the Black Sea, there is no specific destination because Frank’s supposed to get updates to punch into his GPS. But there’s a hitch. Frank’s wary employer, Johnson, (Robert Knepper from TV’s “Prison Break”), has strapped a chunky metal bracelet on his wrist that’s rigged to explode if he strays 75 feet from his car – and Valentina wears one too. That confines them to a strict perimeter, a device that is inexplicably underutilized. In fact, if you’re expecting a coherent plot, forget it. There isn’t one. The set-up is simply a stage on which to set resourceful action sequences. In one, for example, Frank disrobes, using each article of his clothing to fight off foes. That’s understandable but others lack continuity. Just a lot of noise and fury, captured by fast camerawork and razor-sharp editing. Concept creators/screenwriters Luc Besson and Robert Mark Kamen devote much screen time to car chases and the stunt work of fight choreographer Corey Yuen. Director Olivier Megaton’s disjointed style is as hyperkinetic as his name. And is it important that Natalya Rudankova can’t speak English, reciting her lines phonetically? Maybe not. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, “Transporter 3” is a testosterone-fueled 4. It’s nonsensical but, perhaps, die-hard fans of stalwart Jason Statham won’t care.